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The top ten responses to "Honest Officer..."

1. "I swear I was sober" .... wait... that's the booze talkin."
Ray Greenwell, Seattle, WA

2. "It was only myself, the two women, and of course, the goat."
Timothy McGarry, Valparaiso, IN

3. "Honest officer"? Now there's an oxymoron."
Dane Cowley, Lachlan, Tas

4. "Isn't that the BIGGEST damn speed bump you've ever seen?"
Jim Ferris, Holly, MI

5. "I didn't want to, but the sign said "NO! You Turn!"
Tim Jones, Stennis Space Center, MS

6. "Now, let's try parallel parking..."
Gary Jacobs, Richmond, TX

7. "This huge alien mothership shot a tractor beam at my car and (HIC) pulled it in. THEY (not me) shoved alcohol down my (HIC) throat to make me talk, which is why my blood-alcohol is (HIC) three thousand. When I told them the unfortunate truth that Elvis was (HIC) no longer with us - they unceremoniously threw me and my car out of their ship - and (HIC) h ere I am (HIC). "
Anuj Varma, Germantown, MD

8. "I wasn't weaving, I can't even knit!"
Bill Ines, Largo, FL

9. "I know this looks bad, but I've got a really good lawyer"
Sean Blaes, Lawrence, KS

10. "my karma ran over my dogma!"
Mark Remfrey, Wellington


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["Buddy"]["It's Helga"]["The Weasel"]


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