Amorous Avenues and Lascivious Locations

What better way to make use of urban decay's soft mosturizing lipsticks than find the ultimate place in the city to exercise those lips with another. what lies ahead are tales (and fantasys) of torrid kisses not to mention a few suggestions for the most amorous avenues and other lascivious locations.

At night, in a taxi cab, preferably one with a few dents (scary driver engorges the excitement and boosts adrenaline levels), vanilla incense burning on the dash, your kisser's back is flat on the seat. No backseat sex, just giggle ridden hot kisses with a admiring onlooker (the cabbie)... Outside the pizza parlor (any one of hundreds) standing on the corner, traffic whizzing by and honks and horns whip to a crecendo but you and your loved one are oblivious while the delicious oil clings to their lips and face from the recently devoured sli ce. They try to clean it off with a napkin but you grab your lover's face... and kiss it clean. Now "That's Amore!"... Sitting on a curb near the colorful junction of St. Marks Place and Broadway, in front of that big, black welded cube that spins on a point while watchin' skaterats jump and fall. You and your "friend" mash lips to the beat of the nearby random music play ing on someone's beatbox.... Take the ferry to Staten Island, and enjoy that, ahem, fresh breeze that is so rare in the midst of the city. Race up, up, up the stairs inside the Statue of Liberty never stopping for breath until you reach the armpit of Our Lady. Stop. And breathle ssly smack on your lover as curious tourists look on in disgust. Miss Liberty is after all a symbol of strength and freedom from oppresive gaping over-the-hill uptight sight-seers...

On the rooftop of the University of Chicago Dorms building, the one right on Lakeshore Drive, (20 bucks an night, summer time), you've bar hopped all night, just finished breakfast at Tempo (a diner where they have bouncers just to keep the peace), and no w it's sunrise, a purple-red-gold spinart horizon, you look, you kiss. And P.S. check out the dozens of dew colored geometric spider webs on the railings.ewww. Decay.... Outside of Delilah's, a stylishsly seedy chi-town bar, at the bus top in the rain. It's a wet kiss, but all the better for it.

In a big read leatherette booth at Dan Tana's Italian Restaurant. Dressed straight outta Vegas in the fifties, Sinatra crooning for the soundtrack, martinis clink and a toast is made to your big gorgeous eyes that marvel big pizza pies. Old style cooking and olde style smooching. Delicious. And so is the food.... In a private booth at the Moon of Tunis restaurant while watching punk rock's very own Dick Clark (she never ages) Pleasant Gehman bellydance to the wild and passionate sounds of Morroccon drums. Shimmy a kiss towards your beloved.... On the huge Western Exterminator statue-- the big strong bug-killing man is holding a mouse and very large mallot. Climbing up there may be hazodous to your health but think of the points you'll score when you reiterate the story of how you smashed lips w hile perched on an oversized rat looking out over the 405 freeway near the beautiful city of Commerce.... Forget the Hollywood sign. Off the Hollywood Freeway FOX network has this huge white jungle gym looking structure with lots of intertwining bars and rods on the top of their headquarters overlooking Hollywood. Spots shoot light directly on you and your lover, making the two of you the stars of a movie that's never been seen. However falling off of this mostrosity wo uld probably cause death. Beware.... On the Blockbuster Video billboard on Sunset: a gigantic "real-life" couch perches straight out from the sign, hanging practically in the air. Not only do you have a fantastic view, but some of the comforts of home as well.

On the locks in Seattle. The locks allow boats and ships to go from the Seattle Sound into Lake Washington which are at two different levels. It's not only beautiful but there is also a fish ladder for the salmon. Underground there are large glass viewing windows. Very salty. At sundown they close the park and these charmingly goofy sailors blow the bugle and take the flag down. Smooch right th ere on the locks and watch the big boats and the little boats go up and down, from here to there.

At the foot of the Washington Monument, our nation's phallic symbol, drinking wine under the park's night lights. ... On the Senate floor...

Quite possibly the most fantabulous kisses are centered around large looming steel crafts we call planes: any airport kiss that lingers that extra lustful second and of course, there is always that airplane lavatory, a cozy little room where you two will be quite private... just remember, no smoking!