The Troll Patrol




.....2400Hrs.....underground bunker near MCA Headquarters..... The board lit up quickly and the horn began to blast...Errrrhhhh, Errrhhhh, Errrrrhhhh.....! Soldier: Sir, we have just picked up a Troll signal near sector 23.. Commander: Well? Who's covering that area, soldier? Soldier: Uhhhh, Cathbad, Democratus, Mighty Dragon aka Jethro and that troll war hero..dare I mention her name? Commander: No! Don't bother, I know who you are referring to...

Meanwhile, at sector 23...

Cathbad: "Come on Ravenmane! Help us out! You're the only one with the butane filled flamethrower...! Jethro: "Hurry, the smelly troll is coming!! Hey, why don't we just take it from her?" Ravenmane: " You don't know how to use this effectively, stick to your boring, goody-two shoes dictionary."

The smell from the troll hit them like an elephant passing gas in front of them. It was truly a gas bomb. Democratus was now pleading with Ravenmane, "For the love of the forum, my dear woman, please ignite the flamethrower, by the gods, please...!"

Ravenmane was still tripping from the henbane she had done earlier and didn't notice the slobbering troll getting nearer and grabbing for the first sentry...

Jethro was screaming...!No! Stop! Get awayyyyy!!! Ahhhhhh..!! Ahhhhh..!! There was a munching and grinding sound. The troll had devoured Jethro in one gulp.

Cathbad had started to run and lost his/her footing, "Run! Run for yourrrr.....ieeeeee! " Uggggggghhhh" The troll had sat on Cathbad and squashed him like a pumpkin and began to tear off his/her limbs. Democratus: "You vile fiend! How could you let the troll eat them!!!"

Ravenmane was completely incoherent, the henbane had made her see illusions and never saw the troll feast on the other sentries. Democratus's scream pierced the edge of night....then silence. A bush moved back and forth in the distance and a sound came back echoing. "hehe, hehe, oowww, oowwww, hehe, hehe, oowww, ooooowwwwww!" Meanwhile, the other troll patrol had come to the rescue. Larin looked around.."Where did everybody go?" Unholy spoke next, "Look! Footprints and big one too!" Moondragon: "Hey, Look! What's Ravenmane doing behind that bush?"

The patrol strolled over where she was. Ravenmane spoke, slightly sober, "Hi, everyone...!

Unholy: "Did you see the troll?" Larin: "Where are the others?" Moondragon: What happen to your flamethrower?" Ravenmane: "Uhhhhhh, I think the troll ate the others and blast it if I know where my flamethrower is...I lost it!" Moondragon: "Look! over there! Uhhhhggggg...that looks sick..!" Larin: "Christ, it's our guys, yeeeeeccck! Oh man.....Say, what were you doing behind the bushes anyway?" Ravenmane blushing..."Xena rescued me by pullling me behind the bushes. She heard about the filth and fowl I had caused and spanked me, I think she got excited and took off!" Unholy: "Wow, unbelievable!" Larin: "Wow, Inconceivable!" Moondragon: "Wow, no way!!!" Unholy: "Check this out, Xena must've cut open the troll, god this is disgusting..." Ravenmane: "Phewwwww, this one stinks the worst, it must be Jethro! I saw a line of trolls waiting in line to be spanked, but Xena doesn't do trolls. She gave that duty to Joxer, now Jetthead doesn't have anybody to romp with at the beach.."

Mrs Parker was fumbling with her knapsack, "I still have some henbane cookies left if you want some before we start bac..."

Everyone: "SHUTUP!!!!!!"

The patrol started back and disappeared into the night. Perhaps they would encounter another troll before the night was over. At least they now felt safe that Ravenmane still carried her flamethrower, ready as ever....

Ravenmane



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Last Updated 29-Dec-96 tony@shelbynet.net