alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 2 of 3)
From: barnhart@MCS.COM (Aaron Barnhart)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.talkshows.late,news.answers,alt.answers,rec.answers
Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 2 of 3)
Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman
Date: 20 Oct 1996 03:01:09 -0500
Organization: MCSNet Services
Message-ID: <54cm85$ef4@Venus.mcs.com>
Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net
Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and
their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman.
New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this
FAQ list before posting.
Archive-name: letterman/faq/part2
The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list
Last-modified: Fri Jul 5 00:10:33 CDT 1996
Version: 9.12
Part 2 of 3
*
Exactly what can a guy in a bear suit do in New York City? (Thanks
Natraj Kini)
o Get into the "Flashdancers" strip club
o Hail a cab
o Enter the Russian Tea Room
o Get a hug from a stranger
o Convince an outdoor restaurant patron to share
her lunch with him
o Get the time from a stranger
o Say hello on a New York City payphone
*
What are some of Dave's "Indiana-isms?"
From Tim Veatch --
o ask...or as we say in Indiana...ax
o Bush...or as we say in Indiana...Boosh
o extra...or as we say in Indiana...extree
o Illinois...or as we say in Indiana...Illinoiz
o Italian...or as we say in Indiana...Eye-talian
o mosquitos...or as we say in Indiana...skeeters
o nuclear...or as we say in Indiana...nuc-u-lar
o President Clinton...or as we say in Indiana...Pars'dent Clinton
o pumpkin...or as we say in Indiana...punkin
o show business...or as we say in Indiana...show bidness
o similar...or as we say in Indiana...sim-u-lar
o special...or as we say in Indiana...spay-shul
o statistics...or as we say in Indiana...suh-tistics
o veteran...or as we say in Indiana...vet'rin
o Washington...or as we say in Indiana...Warshington
o wolf...or as we say in Indiana...woof
*
Why did the _Late Show_ move its home office from Sioux City, Iowa
to Grand Rapids, Michigan in June 1995?
Dave was a guest on CNN's "Larry King Live" on a Friday night
and a caller from Grand Rapids made the request. Dave said
okay and on Monday it was done. One year later, he moved the
home office to Wahoo, Nebraska following a protracted and not
terribly entertaining "graft competition" between the citizens
of Grand Rapids and Wahoo, who were encouraged to send in
souvenirs and other goodies in an attempt to sway Letterman's
decision (which needless to say was always, always going to
go Wahoo's way).
*
I want to get an authentic K & L Rock America souvenir and possibly
glimpse Mujibur & Sirajul. Where do I go?
K&L's Rock America is located at 1705 Broadway (10019), just
down the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater. The phone is
(212) 757-3926. (Thanks Tony Rice)
*
I rented that "Cabin Boy" video and Dave Letterman had a cameo in
the movie, but in the credits they announced that "Earl Hofert" played
the part played by Dave. Who's Earl Hofert?
Possibly an uncle on his mom's side. Every now and then you'll
hear him use "Hofert" on the show. Also "Henderson."
*
I heard that the late Bill Hicks was censored once on Dave's show! They
never showed his act, and replaced him with some lame in-house comedian.
Well, it's true. On the night of October 1, 1993, comedian
Hicks (who died in early '94 of pancreatic cancer) delivered
a routine that, in post-production, was deemed inappropriate
for broadcast. Although initially co-executive producer
Robert Morton claimed CBS standards and practices had
ordered the cut, CBS later countered that *Worldwide Pants*
had cut Hicks -- the truth is probably that both offices
agreed on the excision. In a subsequent piece in _The New
Yorker,_ Hicks complained that Letterman's staff 86'd the
routine because of attacks on pro-lifers that did not appeal
to the show's "mainstream" audience, which Hicks clearly
believed was a fiction.
Angus MacDonald, who was in the audience that night, has
a different interpretation of the events: "He did do a joke
early in the same routine that could be taken as being
anti-gay ... Basically, Hicks made fun of bigots ... [and
was] impersonating a bigot -- 'Those people have gone too
far. We've got to draw the line,' or words to that effect
-- for a stretch of many seconds during which there was
virtually no audience laughter, though one guy in our row
yelled 'Yeah' in agreement to the excerpt above. Creepy.
Because no one was laughing, Hicks had the worst of both
worlds: controversial material that was not entertaining.
The rest of his routine, as detailed in the New Yorker
article and elsewhere, was well received. There was almost
no reporting about the gay joke, though, and I think the
silence it induced may have had as much to do with the
excision as the attack on right-wing Christians."
A recent special on the life of Hicks airing on Comedy
Central included interviews with Dave and Morty, both of
whom expressed regrets about the incident. Dave said he
felt even worse knowing that he won't be able to make it
up to Bill now that he's gone. Incidentally, the 10/1/93
broadcast is the only one on CBS to have featured Dave as
the introductory voice-over, since Bill Wendell had gone
home before the decision was made to nix Hicks.
*
What's the deal with Teri Garr? I heard she has MS.
No, she has a degenerative back condition that went
undiagnosed for too long. She's receiving treatment now.
(Thanks Richard Handal)
*
Who are the the members of the "CBS Orchestra?"
o Paul Shaffer, leader/keyboards
o Anton Fig, drums
o Will Lee, bass guitar
o Sid McGinnis, guitar
o Felicia Collins, guitar
o Bruce Kapler and Tom "Bones" Malone, horns
The first four players comprised The World's Most Dangerous
Band when Dave was on NBC (more musicians from that show
in the NBC section below). There was talk that the network
might litigate to keep certain items of _Late Night_'s
"intellectual property," including the band name, so the
boys came up with this in-your-face moniker.
What happened to funkmeister Bernie Worrell?
He left. It didn't work out. Anyway, you'll agree the band
sounds much better with a horn section, no?
*
Heyyy, knock me out with some of those great musical intros Paul and
the band have done over the years for Dave's guests.
Below is a sampling -- please, no more submissions for this
area! Besides these, two selections should be singled out
from the variety of bridges that Paul uses to play Dave over
to his desk: the themes from "I Love Lucy" and the old Jack
Benny t.v. show (it includes bars from "Yankee Doodle
Dandy"), two huge shows on the early CBS Television Network.
o Prince's "I Want To Be Your Lover" for Kim Basinger
o "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash/Melle Mel for Cokie
Roberts (thanks Malinda McCall)
o "Everytime You Go Away (You Take A Piece of Me With You)"
by Paul Young following "Top Ten Things Overheard at the
Lorena Bobbitt Trial"
o "I Am the Walrus" by the Fabs for Mike Wallace
o "Faith" by George Michael for Faith Ford
o "If" by Bread during Dave's throw-Wonder-Bread-at-the-
audience sequence
o "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds for Laura Dern
o "A Day in the [Dana] Life" for Dana Carvey
o "Thank You Falettinme Be Myself (Again)" by Sly & Family
Stone, as one of Dave's staff and his grade-school gym
teacher were re-enacting a groin rejuvenation exercise
o A Sam & Dave tune, when Sam (Donaldson) was on with Dave
o "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton following a Top Ten list
on the space shuttle Columbia
o "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B.J. Thomas
for Jay Thomas
o "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith for "Top Ten Things Aeroflot
Can Do To Improve Its Image"
o "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul Shaffer!) for Damon
Wayans (who used it for his "Blaine and Antoine" routines)
o "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night for Jeremy Irons
o The theme from "Three's Company" for "Top Ten Good Things
About Marrying Tom and Roseanne"
o "Shipoopi," from _The Music Man_ for "Top Ten Ways To
Mispronounce Jeff Gillooly"
o "I Don't Know How to Love Him," as sung by the Mary Magdelene
character in _Jesus Christ Superstar,_ for Mary Matalin (Joe
LaRose)
o The theme to the t.v. classic "Mr. Ed," for "Top Ten Signs
Your Name Is Ed" (thanks Dylan Behan)
o And this prize from viewer Wayne Snell: "'Groovin' by the
Young Rascals for CBS newsperson Lesley Stahl (and I believe
also one time for actor Leslie Nielsen). The explanation:
when 'Groovin' was hot on the radio in the '60s, there was
a controversy that one section of the song, 'Life would be
ecstasy/For you and me endlessly', was actually 'Life would
be ecstasy/For you and me and Leslie'!"
*
I know that Paul is from Canada, but where?
Thunder Bay, Ontario. He was born there November 28, 1949.
*
The voice of Worldwide Pants is ... ?
Jay Gardner.
*
Who produces and directs LSWDL?
Executive Producer -- Peter Lassally (longtime Carson associate)
Executive Producer -- Rob Burnett
before Rob ... Robert Morton
before Morty ... Barry Sand
Supervising Producer -- Jude Brennan
Supervising Producer -- Jon Beckerman (de facto head writer)
Supervising Producer/Director -- Jerry Foley
before Jerry ... Hal Gurnee (see below)
Head Writer -- Joe Toplyn (but his oversight duties are now
carried on by Beckerman)
before Joe ... Donick Cary (1995-96)
before Donick ... Rob Burnett (1992-95)
before Rob ... Steve O'Donnell (1983-92)
before Steve ... James Downey (1983)
before James ... Merrill Markoe (the original head writer, now a
very funny authoress)
Notable Ex-writer ... Chris Elliott
Notable Ex-Visuals Coordinator ... Edd Hall (now the _Tonight_
show announcer on NBC and brother of Stupid Pet Tricks
coordinator Susan Hall Sheehan)
Hal Gurnee's 15-year association with Dave as the director
of all of his programs (beginning with the 1980 morning
show on NBC) ended on May 26, 1995. Dave gave a brief
valedictory -- which I take it was even more recognition
than the modest Gurnee sought -- at the end of that night's
broadcast. Dave thanked Hal generously for his work over
the years, and singled out his vision for the Ed Sullivan
Theater at a time when no one else, including Dave, could
possibly imagine doing a television show in that unimproved
dump. A small plaque was mounted outside the show's control
room acknowledging this contribution. Hal continues in an
advisory role to the program and is still listed in the
credits for designing the show's opening sequence. Before
signing on with Dave, Hal spent the better part of a quarter
century as Jack Paar's director for his various t.v.
vehicles, most notably _The Tonight Show._
*
Boy, CBS sure pays Dave a lot of money.
We don't know for sure what it is, but you're certainly
right. However, given that CBS is now earning several times
in late night what it made with "Crime Time," its previous
entry, he is well worth the cash. Also, take a look at
what other companies were willing to pay to get Dave.
According to the writer Bill Carter, Viacom would have
dished out $50 million per year, given Worldwide Pants a
huge show budget, and made Dave the focal property, including
possible special projects for Viacom-owned cable networks
(MTV and VH1). But Dave wanted to be on network t.v. and
so no offers besides the Big Three's were ever seriously
considered.
*
Is the Late Show closed-captioned?
It is. Scott Barvian says, "They obviously do the captioning
after the final edits are done; all the spelling is correct
and nothing is missed. They catch all of Paul's little
comments that [we] don't always pick up ... they even spelled
out Dave screaming in terror after picking up a hot towel
(OHHHH! AHHHH! JEEEZ!)." This is true of all the late-night
shows, in fact. Jeff Zuk adds that sometimes the
closed captioning will even tell you what song the band is
playing. But Karen Owen has noticed various errors in
transcription, and she says whoever's doing the captioning
has a limited knowledge of popular music prior to 1964 (for
instance, always referring to the theme from the Ed Sullivan
Show as "peppy show biz music").
*
Gosh, I'm young and stupid. Wouldn't it be great to intern at the Late
Show?
Currently there are about 15 internships at the show,
including Dave's area, production, talent, research, music
(Shaffer), sound (Michael DeLugg), mailroom, Rob's area,
and writers. The important thing to bear in mind when
contemplating an internship is that it's not enough to be
a "fan" of a given show. General interest in broadcasting
is essential. After all, this is a broadcast internship,
not a Dave internship. And, oh yes, most of the time you
can expect the work to be pure drudgery. One book which
rated the old NBC show one of the top 100 internships to
have reported this tidbit: "Several interns reported having
to fetch lunch for Dave ('every day it was the same pasta
primavera and vegetable soup') or whip up a snack ('Dave
always had to have his fresh pineapple -- cut in strips,
not squares')."
Still, what makes Dave's show distinctive is the good chance
that as an intern you will be used on camera at some point.
Pea Boy was an intern on the show, as was the recent
character "The Lethargic Fan." For all of the drudgery,
you should remember that most of the present and past staff
were interns, including Adam Resnick, Rob Burnett, Daniel
Kellison, Mary Connelly, Spike Feresten, Donick Cary,
Jennifer Crittendon, Holly Hester, and many more. There
are dozens more in top positions in the industry.
*
Is there some way to find out in advance what reruns of Late Night are
showing on the E! entertainment television network?
Call (213) 954-2750. Press 1 to hear the Late Night schedule for
the week (changes every Monday). The reruns are aired "five
Daves a week" at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Or, check each week's
issue of LATE SHOW NEWS (see the end of this FAQ). In fact,
that's the course I recommend, because some weeks E! doesn't
even bother to update the hotline -- and wouldn't you really
rather learn that on someone else's nickel?
*
Let's say I want to be a guest on the show -- what should I do?
Directly from Dave himself: "I don't care who you are, I don't
care what you do. If you have four funny stories, you can be a
guest on this show. That's what we're looking for."
* * *
Questions People Ask About _Late Night with David Letterman_
(NBC, Feb. 1, 1982-June 22, 1993)
[Sorry, I'm no longer accepting submissions for this area.]
* * *
What are the different cities where Dave's "home office" was located
during Late Night?
o Lebanon, Pennsylvania
o Lincoln, Nebraska
o Milwaukee (the first Late Night home office)
o Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
o Omaha (home of Arnie Barnes, who called in his own Top Ten lists)
o Oneonta, New York (the last Late Night home office)
o Scottsdale, Arizona
o Tahlequah, Oklahoma
*
What are the different types of "cams" that were used on Late Night?
o Amphi-cam (8th anniversary show at Universal Amphitheatre)
o Chair-cam
o Cow-cam
o Crash-cam
o Fig-cam (worn by Anton)
o Guest-cam (worn by Tom Hanks)
o Host-cam (worn by Dave, of course)
o Las Vegas Showgirl-Cam (from Dave's 1987 shows there)
o Love-cam (Bill Murray)
o Monkey-cam
o Sewer-cam
o Sky-cam
o Thrill-cam
o Thrill-cam 360
o Tiger-cam
*
What types of gifts did Dave give to audience members on his old show?
o Bacon
o Bagels
o Baked ham
o Beef
o Bug Busters
o Tom Brokaw stationery
o Cartons of cigarettes (handed out by Larry during a remote)
o Collapsible drinking cups
o Composters
o Edible plunger
o Fajitas
o French fries
o Frozen turkeys
o Gallon jars of mayonnaise
o Goodwill Games medals (given to audience members who asked
questions of Larry "Bud" Hussein)
o Handfuls of nickels from a big bucket
o Handfuls of watches from a fish bowl
o Hot towels (by Larry during a remote)
o Jumper cables
o Kentucky Fried Millipedes (actually a bucket of fried clams)
o Kielbasa
o Large squares of sod
o Late Night with David Letterman facial blotters (if you
were an *especially* good little audience member,
Dave would use it first)
o One volume of an encyclopedia set
o Packs of assorted GE light bulbs
o Pounds of hair
o Randomly selected prescription eyeglasses (by Larry)
o Roll of garden hose
o Selections of fluorescent lighting
o Six dollars
o Sponges
o Tee-shirts (Larry: "Bob Rooney, please give that nice
lady/gentleman two Late Night t-shirts")
o Tires
o Toast
o Toast on a stick
o _Today_ show coffee mugs
o Waffles
No, I will *not* attempt to list all the giveaways since Dave
moved to CBS and transformed the Ed Sullivan Theater into "The
Price is Right."
*
What were the films in LNWDL's Holiday Film Festivals? (1985)
o "With My Own Eyes," by David Letterman
o "But I'm Happy," by Michael Keaton (with Clint Howard)
o A film on PMS, by Catherine O'Hara and Andrea Martin
o "Dress Cool," music video by Paul and the band
o "Why Bother?" by Bette Midler
o Industrial video spoof, by Harry Shearer, Christopher
Guest, and Michael McKean
From the "2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival" (1986):
o "Feelin' in Love," David Letterman
o "The Iceman Hummeth," Michael J. Fox
o "An Audience of My Own," Diane Sawyer
o "My Day With the Stars," Jonathan Winters
o "You Kill Me" (music video), Paul Shaffer w/Teri Garr
o "Chris Elliott: A Television Miracle," w/George Takei
(aka Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek")
*
What are the different types of "suits" Dave has worn?
o Suit of Alka-Seltzer
o Suit of Lard (worn by someone other than Dave)
o Suit of Magnets
o Suit of Marshmallows (they tried to light the marshmallows
with propane torches but failed; eaten by audience)
o Suit of Nachos (eaten by members of the audience after
Dave was dunked in cheese)
o Suit of Rice Krispies (milk poured on Dave)
o Suit of Sponge (they weighed Dave, dunked him in water,
then weighed him again, but it was off the scale)
o Suit of Suet (Dave went into a cage of birds)
o Suit of Teabags (no, wait, that was Steve Allen)
o Suit of Vegemite (tm)
o Suit of Vegetables
o Suit of Velcro (Dave wore the soft part, then he jumped
onto a wall covered with the other part, and stuck)
*
When Chris Elliott was still writing for Late Night, what were some of
the characters he played?
o Marlon Brando
o The Guy Under the Seats
o Marv Albert
o Jay Leno (with large fake chin)
o Letterman imitation-- "Late Night with Chris Elliott"
o The Fugitive Guy
o The Nervous Guy
o The Regulator Guy
o Chris Elliott, Jr. (Morton Downey, Jr. take-off w/ lots
o' moles)
o The Panicky Guy
o The Conspiracy Guy
o Gerard Mulligan's baby boy, "Kevin" (complete w/ diaper)
o Jack Hanna of the Columbus Zoo
o Walter Murphy, "the man with the miracle mind" who had
memorized all the animals portrayed in that memorable NBC
fantasy-adventure series, "Manimal" (as this was early in
his career, Chris actually did a Harvey Korman trying to
suppress the giggles)
o Singularly unhelpful Radio City Music Hall custodian (Anniversary
show; thanks to Jim Lyden)
*
What is Larry "Bud" Melman's real name?
Calvert DeForest. And in fact, for intellectual property reasons,
Dave is calling "Larry" Calvert on the new show.
*
Who all have been the means of delivery of Cokes, etc., from the vending
machines? (Late Night)
o The Rockettes (and now on the Late Show as well)
o Members of the NYC area chapter of Mensa
o Carl Lewis
o Boy Scouts
o Marching Band
o Andy Grayson, trail bike rider, rode down the stairs and
jumped up on Dave's desk (w/the bike) without touching a
foot.
*
How has Dave paid tribute to his erstwhile telephone companion, the
lovely auburn-haired book publicist Meg Parsont?
o Sent the "Three Amigos" to serenade her with Mexican rest-
aurant music
o Sent Billy Dee Williams over with a bouquet of roses, a
matching his-and-her set of his designer fragrances, and a
six-pack of Colt 45 malt liquor
o Closed off 49th Street so the Jamestown High School Red
Raiders marching band could parade below her window playing
"Happy Birthday" and spelling out M-E-G in formation
*
I know Bill Murray was the first scheduled guest on both Late Night in
1982 and the Late Show in 1993.
Although recently, Dave told Tom Brokaw that *he* (Tom) was
"the first guest on our new show" (when Tom came out to
reclaim certain cue cards as "the intellectual property of
NBC").
Right. But back to Bill Murray in '82 -- what was *that*?
According to Dave, "Bill wanted to do something special, so he
was coming down early to talk to the writers and see what they
could come up with together. When he arrived, Merrill and I were
out filming a segment, and Bill showed up with about six gallons
of whatever tequila was on sale. When we got back, everybody
was shitfaced, and it was dark, since Bill had decided the
flourescent lights were leeching Vitamin E from them and he'd
hidden all the lamps. Nothing was written, and the only
explanation I could get from anyone was, 'Bill was here.' When
we did get on the air, Bill decided not to do any of the stuff
we'd written and got an urge to sing 'Let's Get Physical' and
do aerobics. So he did." >>> As a tribute to that historical
debut, Paul and the band played "Physical" for Bill's intro on
the first Late Show.
*
The wife and I were up last night watching Dave, and we got to talking
about the old show and that wild-eyed longhair freak who tried to kick
Dave in the chops. Remember that?
Yes, it's remembered for us about every three weeks, on average,
on the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup. For that reason we have
provided for the general public an annotated transcript of that
episode, from July of 1987, featuring guest Crispin Glover, on
the Letterman archive at ftp.mcs.net (see the end of this FAQ
for info). Thanks to Mark Schweingruber for the effort.
*
Whatever happened to Brother Theodore? I heard he had passed away.
Otherwise Dave would surely have had him on the new show, no?
Bro. Theo. is still around and thriving in the Village.
According to Kevin R. Kraynick, he's performing Saturday
nights at 9:30 p.m. at the 13th Street Theater. Admission
is $12.50. Mark Evanier notes, "He seems to have joined
the list of guests that Dave is no longer interested in
having on."
*
I heard that one night, Dave bumped Cindy Crawford from a show just
so he could talk with a guy named Herb Clumpy!
Mm hmm. By the way, the name's spelled Klumpe, not "Clumpy,"
and he has become one of the regulars on the old A. F. of L.
newsgroup. Herb, who hails from Oneonta, New York, site of the
very last home office of _Late Night,_ was in the audience for
one of Dave's last NBC broadcasts on June 17 '93, wearing a
sweatshirt emblazoned with the letters ONEONTA. Dave was notified
before the show that a guy from the home office with a delightful
name was in the crowd, so upon entering the studio he opened
that evening's show with the line, "Tonight's program is dedicated
to Herb Klumpe III." Not only did the monologue go out the
window, but Herb and Dave chatted on-air after the break and
they exchanged sweatshirts as the alluring Miss Crawford looked
on forlornly from the green room. It turns out that Herb and
four of his enterprising friends also held tickets for the very
last _Late Night_ so, to commemorate his good fortune, Herb's
friends showed up wearing "Friend of Herb Klumpe III" T-shirts.
NBC staff spotted Mr. Klumpe and escorted him to the green room,
where he got to watch the final show with a gaggle of extree
special guests that included Tom Hanks and his wife. He is
living proof that Dave Letterman, much like _Late Night_'s
revered final guest Bruce Springsteen, can both entertain the
masses and brighten the lives of ordinary fans -- and in so
doing touch the lives of each one of us who watches his show.
[*dab corners of eyes with blue index card*]
--
Aaron Barnhart
letterman@mcs.net
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