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Bill Gates Controls YOU!/Sega Sucks! - Claye Hodge - 3/6/95

Here's a little complaint I found on alt.conspiracy about Bill Gates. Added
in with a little short from alt.sega.genesis. You know the usual. E-mail
crh222@delphi.com with your responses..
--------    (shortened line segment just for Petrea. :)  )

[Beginning Credits]

[1...2...3...4...5...6...7...]

[SOL]
[There are two tv's on the desk. One on Crow's side, other on Tom's side.
 Crow is playing on a Super Nintendo, Tom is playing a Sega Genesis. Mike
 is in the middle watching them play.]

CROW: The Super Nintendo has better graphics!
TOM: The Sega has better sports games!
CROW: Sega is SLOW!
MIKE:[looks up to Cambot. Quietly] Oh! Hi, welcome to the Satellite of Love.
     It seems that our robot buddies are debating which is better, SNES or
     Sega? LET'S WATCH!
TOM: Super Nintendo is for BABIES! Remember Mortal Kombat I, Crow?
CROW: Yeah? Well... we had BETTER SOUND!
TOM: Super Nintendo is too cheap to get good graphics for their games!
CROW: Oh YEAH? Name TWO!
TOM: Ok. Ultraman and Starfox!
CROW: We have the new Donkey Kong game, Servo! Does Sega, huh???
TOM: Well.. No. [commercial sign light flashes.]
MIKE:[quietly] Sega, Super Nintendo? Who cares, the Atari Jaguar beats both
     of them to a pulp. We'll be right back. [Mike taps commercial sign
     light.]

[Commercials]: Hi Octane! Keanu Reeves!! Nicholas Cage!! The Beastie Boys!!
 Hi Octane, thirty minutes of fuel injected HELL! Minus fuel injected.

[SOL]

CROW: I STILL say the Super Nintendo is better in sound and graphics!
TOM: Well, I wish there was a way we could compete with each others system
     so I can prove you wrong.
MIKE: Hmmm.. [Mads light flashes.] Oh, Mario and Luigi are calling.
[Mike taps mads light.]

[D13]

DR.F: Oh, where IS he??? [Looks up.] Oh! Hello Mitch, I see your bots are
      into video games.. Good, that goes in with your experiment today, but
      I'll go into that later. As for my invention, you've seen or heard
      of several commercials and ads about safe driving, and don't drink
      and drive, have you? Well, they never seem to work. So, my invention
      takes the "Don't drink or Drive" theory a little further.... [Frank
      comes in Deep 13, holding groceries.]
FRANK: Hi Steve, I'm back. Sorry I took so long. I was stopped and got a
       speeding ticket. [Puts the groceries down.]
DR.F: AGAIN?!?!? [Looks at the screen. Smiles.] Uh.. That's alright Frank.
      You're just in time for the invention exchange. [Puts hands on Frank's
      shoulders as to lead him. They walk toward the left.] You see, to
      really teach drivers a lesson, whether they were speeding or drinking
      you have to give them real proof, and that's why I've invented the
      Unsafe Driving Eliminator. [We see a padded chair with straps, on a 
      sloping track that goes off-screen. At the top of the ramp is a
      switch.] The person who has been speeding or drinking in this case,
      Frank gets into the chair, and strapped in. Get in the chair Frank.
FRANK: I don't wanna.
DR.F: FRANK!!!
FRANK: Ok. [Frank gets into the chair. Dr. Forrester tightly straps him in.]
DR.F: After they get strapped in you pull the switch, which sends the person
      speeding towards a concrete-brick wall.
FRANK: I wanna get out!
DR.F: Sorry Frank, you made a mistake and now you will pay for it.
FRANK: Doooohhhhh...
DR.F: Did you get caught speeding?
FRANK: Yes.
DR.F: Didn't I say to not speed?
FRANK: Yes.
DR.F: Are you going to speed again?
FRANK: Yes. DOH! No. No. I meant no.
DR.F: Too late, Frank. What did I say I would do to you if you speeded?
FRANK: You said you would put me in the Eliminator. It was an accident!
DR.F: Too late! [Dr.F pulls the switch. Frank starts coming down the ramp
      quickly, and goes off-screen. We then hear a LOUD crashing sound.]
FRANK:[Off-screen.] OWEEOWEEOWEEOWEEOWEEOWEEOWEEOWEEOWEE.....
DR.F:[to screen.] Your turn.

[SOL]

[Tom and Crow are still playing. Mike is holding a small box.]
MIKE: Poor Frank. Well sir, the bots gave me an idea. How to compete with
      each other using a Sega AND a Super Nintendo. So, I've invented the
      Super Sega Nintendo Genesis Connector. To use it, you unplug both
      systems. [Mike unplugs both systems.]
BOTS: HEY!
MIKE: And you plug them into the SSNG Connector, and turn the Connector on
      and Voila! [Mike plugs the systems into the connector and turn it on.]

TOM: Oh, sort of a Doom type game. I'm Sonic.
CROW: Yeah, and I'm DK!
BOTS: THANKS MIKE!
MIKE: What do you think, sirs?
TOM:[To computer.] Where are you, ya big ape?

[D13]

DR.F: Interesting, I guess. Anyway, your experiment is a little complaint
      post I found in alt.conspiracy about Bill Gates, but first is a little
      short called "Sega sucks!". It's a weird reply to a weird post from
      a guy who hates Sega. Enjoy! [Pushes the button.]

[SOL]

ALL: AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! WE'VE GOT POOOOOST SIIIIIIGGGGGGGNNN!!!!
CROW: HEY! I WASN'T FINISHED!
MIKE: COME ON!
[Mike and the bots leave for the theater.]

[7...6...5...4...3...2...1...]

> 

[Mike and the bots enter the theater. Mike puts Tom down.]

>Newsflag: alt.sega.genesis

TOM: Oh boy! I hope I can get tips and codes!

>Newsgroups: alt.sega.genesis

CROW: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HISS HISS HISS!!!
TOM: SHUT UP!

>Subject: Sega sucks!

CROW: Hahahaha!!!
TOM: HEY!
MIKE: Straight to the point.

>From: daniel.kotarski@navsat.com (Daniel Kotarski)

TOM: daniel kotarski... n.. a.. v.. s.. a..
MIKE: TOM.

>Message-ID: <35f.1870.43@navsat.com>
>Date: Tue, 21 Feb 1995 18:33:00 -0500
>Organization: Navsat

MIKE: But it was posted Tues. Not Sat.

>                     II (716) 874-1505
>Lines: 36

CROW:[female] my size is 36, 28, 36.

> 
>NX>    Sega sucks big fat dick.

TOM: Wouldn't that be painful?

>                                Nintendo can roll the hell out of sega any
>NX>day!

CROW: OH Yeah!!

>        the genesis, Sega CD, Saturn, and 32X all suck. And the Ultra 64(by
>NX>Nintendo) can kick the all the sorry Sega systems' butts.

CROW: I didn't know machines have hinders?

>NX>                                                            Nero X

TOM: Oh, THAT'S the guy who said that.

>NX>
> 
>Geeze, what is with this wave of Nintendo Loving Sega bashers as of late???

TOM: Oh Nintendo...
CROW:[female] Oh Sega...
TOM: Oh Nintendo..
CROW:[female] Oh Sega...
[Mike hits Tom and Crow.]
TOM: Hey, what was that for??
MIKE: I hate Nintendo's and Sega's that love each other.

>It seems like every day I log on some plebian posts a message like this.

CROW: Well QUIT posting!

>And at worst, Nero has an .edu account, which we assume comes from a  
>learning institution,

MIKE: You're just jealous cause you don't have an .edu account.

>                      but look at the horrid diction of his post:

TOM: Oh, and like yours is better? How do you spell geez?

> 
>"Sega sucks big fat dick."
> 
>Now does he mean Sega is sucking on a large man named Dick?  

MIKE: Ewww Gross!!!
TOM: He could be, but it's what part of the guy he's sucking that's
     important.
MIKE: Tom, don't.

> 
>The rest of the statement makes no sense. What does "roll" mean when used
>as a verb in the second sentence????

CROW: He doesn't know what roll means?? Looks like you need to join Nero
      with furthering your education. 

> 
>The third sentence passes, minus one capital letter...

MIKE: Like a kidney stone.

> 
>And the fourth sentence makes me feel fortunate for Nero,

TOM: I thought this was alt.sega.genesis, not alt.english.101.

>                                                          since he seems
>to have an Ultra 64 there for his use, so he can compare it to the current
>systems sega has on the market.

CROW: Wish I did.
MIKE: Maybe Christmas.

> 
>Nero, I hope you aren't getting any money from our government, because you
>don't seem to be using it to further your educational goals...

TOM: Neither are you.

> 
>PS- We have forwarded your message to ALT.FAN.BESTIALITY.

ALL: EWWWW!!!

>---
> ~ KingQWK 1.05 ~ I want a shoehorn...the kind with teeth.
>hIMB7!
> 

CROW: Yeah, and I wanna decide who lives and who dies. YOU'RE FIRST!

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Internet: daniel.kotarski@navsat.com (Daniel Kotarski)
>Navsat II - Buffalo, NY - (716) 874-1505 - (716) 871-0218 - 1:260/182

TOM: Home of the Bills.
MIKE: No wonder this is a lousy post.

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MIKE: Well, that's the end of the short. Here comes the big guns.

[Commercials:] Exit 57, a rest stop for comedy? Nah, how about a DEAD END!

> 
>Path:
news1.delphi.com!news.delphi.com!uunet!usc!howland.reston.ans.net!news
>.sprintlink.net!nwnexus!news1.halcyon.com!coho!redrose
>From: redrose@coho.halcyon.com (Joan L. Brewer)

TOM: I wonder what she's brewing today?

>Newsgroups: seattle.general,talk.rumors,alt.atheism.satire,alt.conspiracy,
>talk.religion.misc,alt.cyberpunk,alt.fan.bill-gates,alt.christnet,
>comp.os.ms-windows.

CROW: Version 2.0.

>                   advocacy,alt.fan.warlords
>Subject: Bill Gates Controls YOU!

MIKE: AAAH!!!
CROW: No he doesn't.

>Followup-To: seattle.general,talk.rumors,alt.atheism.satire,alt.conspiracy,
>talk.religion.misc,alt.cyberpunk,alt.fan.bill-gates,alt.christnet,
>comp.os.ms-windows.advocacy,alt.fan.warlords

TOM: Don't ya just LOVE these cross-posters?

>Date: 21 Feb 1995 15:19:04 GMT
>Organization: NW NEXUS, Inc. -- Internet Made Easy (206) 455-3505

MIKE: Until net.kooks like Brewer come on.

>Lines: 176

CROW: Oh boy.

>Message-ID: <3id098$dhd@news1.halcyon.com>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com
>Xref: news1.delphi.com seattle.general:15048 talk.rumors:10993 
>alt.conspiracy:70114 talk.religion.misc:97539 alt.cyberpunk:40311 
>alt.fan.bill-gates:11027 alt.christnet:14640 comp.os.ms-windows.
>advocacy:57788

ALL: GET ON WITH IT!

>
>
>Please NOTE:  I have no legal recourse at this time.

MIKE: But I will, right after this post.

>                                                      The information 
>here is for the public and will not serve me in any way.

CROW:[Brewer] Except of course, it helps me to take over the world.

>                                                         I am beyond the 
>statue of limitation with MS and Gates knows it. If it can happen to me 
>it can happen to you too. This is the only reason I'm posting this data. 

TOM: Yeah, to cause us pain.

>Don't READ it if you believe MS and Gates are  clean and decent people. 

MIKE:[Brewer] Don't read it if you believe I'm clean and decent.

>And don't waste your time downloading the GIF if you want to harass me 
>more.

CROW: That depends.. is it an X-rated gif?
MIKE: CROW!

>      No one can harass me more than the Billion$ man...

TOM: But I can try, can't I?
MIKE: Not you too???

>                                                         Other attempt 
>are stupid...

MIKE: One attempt? That's not bad.

>              You just don't have his money and power.  
>
>No one in the media will permit me to tell my side of the story.

TOM: Not even the liberal media.
CROW: Have you been listening to Rush Limbaugh, again?

>                                                                 I was one
>person one day.

MIKE: But now, I am several persons.

>                Then after being blasted in the media by MS with false
>allegations, I was a criminal and treated as such in my local community. 

TOM: So basically, your still one person. A person who's a criminal, but
     still one person.

>There is no psychological research that supports such a change in
>personality as this.

CROW: After they read this post, they'll support it.

>                      Microsoft and Bill Gates are lying about the
>situation and me. I'm tired of People telling me I'm crazy.

MIKE: But you ARE.

>                                                             If someone
>can come up with a differenet reason for the MS harassment and censorship

TOM: Spacom?

>after reading all of this.....

CROW: There's more???

>                               ( I uploaded these using Zmodem with no
>compression or coversion. They work when I download them in the same
>manner. Distribute them at you will)

MIKE: Oh, like I'm going to download them?

>
>Content of directory - at ftp.halcyon.com -
>[coho]:/archive/pub/local/redrose/steve

CROW: I've heard of spamming the internet, but spamming an FTP site???

>
>I call the direcroty

TOM: The directory probably IS rotty.

>                     "steve" because he is one of the upperlevel
>executives

CROW: Juliewa?
MIKE: Dr. Forrester?

>           Gates is attempting to censor me from. He said MS is morally
>and ethically correct.... In his dreams perhaps. 

TOM: I wish this WAS a dream.

>
>I believe my present handicapped condition was the result of intentional
>harassment I went through at MS in 1990. I was hired under very bizarre
>circumstances and sent on a business trip just 3 days after hiring.

MIKE: And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.


>                                                                     The
>trip was bogus and nothing more than an attempt to harasss and threaten
>me.

CROW: She must have met Torgo and the Master.

>    They hired me as a systems engineer,

TOM:[singing] Just a regular Jill they didn't like...
MIKE: Don't EVER do that again.

>                                         but later claimed I was hired as
>a sales women? Not with my backround. 

CROW:[singing] So they konked her on the noggin and they shot her into
     spaaace.
MIKE: THAT'S IT! [Pulls Crow's arm off, and throws it.]
CROW: HEY! That's my arm!

>
>The first document is who I was before MS destroyed my reputation and made

TOM: me MAD AND INSAAAAAAANE!!!

>up lies about me. 
>
>maze.txt - Article from Seattle Times about me prior to MS false
>allegations

CROW: What does that have to do with a maze?

>
>Concerned about the OS/2 project after working at Aldus, I wrote a thesis
>about internal action inside MS at the lower level that were attempting to
>trash the project.

MIKE: I got an F.

>                    At the time Gates was in the media almost weekly
>saying that OS/2 was his vision of th e future Desk Top. In May 1990 we
>would all find out he was lying. 
>
>motiveg.gif  - Certified mail record for following document

TOM: A gif of a MAIL RECORD?

>motiveg0.txt - Reason for MS hiring me in 1990 and harassing me

CROW: They gave her a reason why they hired, and harassed her?

>
>stile001.gif - Bogus MS excuse written for the EEOC, I never received this
>memo and know it wasn't real. I was hired by MS as a sytems engineer,

MIKE: Ut oh, she's starting all over again.

>consitant with my training and told I was to work with Curt in their DC
>sales office,

TOM: Detective Comics?
MIKE: I doubt this is about Comic Books.
BOTS: Graphic Novels.

>              the other SE. My wage w as to be $18.50 an hour for as an
>Inside engineering sales support person.

CROW: I'm lucky enough to get THAT much in five hours.

>                                          Because I was injured in the
>first week, they changed everything. These people are the worse slime. 

TOM: Worse than phlemm?
ALL: Eww!

>They broke my neck, lied about my wage, and left me handicapped all
>because I said OS/2 WORK!

CROW: Maybe they did that because you YELLED IN THEIR EARS!!!

>                          This is like getting your legs broken by the
>Mofia. People just don't believe that this is really going on in
>Seattle... BUT IT IS! One of the Psychiratrist who did a bogus evaluation
>on me was in a accident within a week of the first fede ral contact that
>supported my case. His name is Robinson!

ALL: Hi, Robinson.

>                                         He was in Harborview for months
>in ICU. 
>
>billg-email.txt - Some of my nice e-mail to gates in 1991 begging for

TOM: You call "Bite Me, Gates!" nice?

>work. I knew before I left MS in 1990 that Bill Gates was involved with 
>what happen to me and was not wanting to take a case like this to court. 
>I tried to reason with him and it got me NO WHERE!

CROW: Neither will this post.

>
>ms-hate-email.txt - internal e-mail about me from 1991 about my attempt to
>get information from the department of labor about applying for a job at
>MS with a handicap, and MS's harassment about my handicapped situation. A
>must read for anyone who thinks t his is a wonderful company to work for.

TOM: Just as long as it isn't as dull as this.

>My question is how did a company with such hostility towards women ever
>get government contracts? This was used in court and Judge O'Roarty 
>laught aobut it and signed the anti-harassment order anyway.  I'm not a 
>bit surprised he resigned. <grin>

[Everybody is clearing their throats, and whistling.]
MIKE: And on THAT distressing note, let's get out of here.
[Mike and the bots leave the theater.]

[1...2...3...4...5...6...7...]

[SOL]
[Crow and Mike are behind the desk. A TV and SNES is on the desk.]
CROW: Thanks for getting Frank to send up this new video game, Mike.
MIKE: No problem. [Mike walks off-screen.]
CROW:[reading] Press enter... then press b and a..
GYPSY:[off-screen] Hey Crow, can you come here for a minute?
CROW: Uh.. OKAY.. [Crow walks off-screen.]
[silence.]
[A loud roar of an engine.]
TOM:[off-screen, engine still running.] There you are! You're dead meat!
[TOM comes on screen flying in his airplane.]
TOM: DIE! DIE! DIE! [Tom swoops down, bombs the SNES and goes off-screen.]
     HAHAHAHAHA!!! [Silence now, the SNES and TV, are a mess. Crow comes
     back on-screen.]
CROW: Now to play... my... game??? WHAT HAPPENED??? OHHhhhh.. [Crow faints.] 

[Commercial:] It's the NEW Comedy Central Schedule!! MONDAY, London Calling!
 TUESDAY, First 20 Years of Saturday Night Live! WEDNESDAY, Totally Free
 Movies! THURSDAY, Spotlight! FRIDAY, Play MSTie for ME!!! It's the NEW
 Schedule for Comedy Central!! Well, maybe it's not new, but we have to do
 something else to tick off our viewers.

[Mike and Tom enter the theater. Crow finally comes in.]
MIKE: Something wrong, Crow?
CROW:[Sulking] Someone trashed my Super Nintendo.
MIKE: There, there... [pats Crow.]
TOM: Heh heh heh.
CROW: HEY!

>
>times00.txt - Seattle Time front Page News article claiming I was
>threatening Bill Gates when all I was doing is trying to get a job. 
>Similar articles appeared in Journal American and the PI. KOMO came to my 
>home and did a news article in which they attempted to make me look like 
>a computer freak.

CROW: They obviously had a lot to work with.

>                  It went national and my parents saw it in California. 
>Date and time.... Comdex Las Vegas  1991, IBM announces OS/2 2.0. 
>Coincidence?

ALL: Naaah.

>
>jail0001.gif - Arrest just 4 days after being in the Seattle Time about MS
>because I called out to my son during a family medical emergency. 

TOM: What's with the gifs??

>
>object0*.gif - Law suit filed in Connecticut in an attempt to move from WA
>to work.  MS fought to keep me here after claiming I was a physical threat

MIKE: I'm a danger to myself and everybody.

>
>modify*.gif - Modification to anit-harassment order from 10/21/91 allowing
>me to again work in the computer industry and proving that the frist order
>was bogus and an attempt at censorship only.

CROW: They need to censor her bad spelling.

>                                             I produced the first CD-ROM 
>for video for Windows called GateKeeper for Firstlight Video Productions 
>here in Redmond... I guess I'm a real dumb bitch.

TOM: Umm.. yeah.

>                                                  When women inside MS 
>Marketing found out they pressured our marketing department and I was 
>fired after working 60-80 hours a week to do this CD-ROM

MIKE: You're hired!
CROW: You're fired!
TOM: You're hired!
MIKE: You're fired!

>
>nw-court.txt - text from first modification
>
>labor-accident.txt - Labor and Industry document awarding me $4,000 for
>all the damages

CROW: And SHE'S complaining?

>
>
>casa01.gif - Documents used to take my children from me.  My daughter ran
>a way and is now with me. The CASA worker wouldn't talk to my daughter 
>and document that lead up to her running away and testimony by the 
>psychologist working with her in Eugene Oregon were with held as evidence 
>in court.

[Tom is panting hard.]
MIKE: Tom, are you okay?
TOM: [breath] Yes.. [breath] yes Mike, [breath] I'm.. ok. [breath] Try..
     to read [breath] that last sentence.. and you'll see [breath] why I'm
     out of breath.


>          This allowed my ex-husband to get custody of my son after his 
>daughter ran away claiming abusive treatment.

CROW: After her son's daughter ran away, it allowed her ex-husband to get
      custody of the son? That doesn't make sense.
TOM: Of course.

>                                              Gaelan gained over 30 lb. 
>of weight in the first 5 months of being with his father. I want him back 
>with me.

MIKE: Just because he gained 30 pounds?

>
>faxcover.gif - Fax cover sheet used during lawsuit with HOME name on it

CROW: Ut oh, Tom. It's the gifs again.

>
>kissinto.doc - Intro to my business plan stolen from me by MS 
>
>kissoffr.gif - First page of business plan - Name HOME

TOM: KISS OFF!!

>
>All attempts to start over have been trashed by Bill Gates.  He just 
>likes stepping on me and stealing from me now.
>
>ocr-gov.txt - Documents from MS and Government supporting need for
>investigation
>
>harass0*.gif - Most recent order showing it is intended to censor me from 
>contact with members of the Board of Directors of MS. The third pages 
>is a list of Board members and upperlevel executives.

MIKE: I see what you mean by spamming FTP sites.

>
>wives01.txt - primary document used to get order, about AOL use of
>obsenity to promote service. 

CROW: I believe it.

>
>queen-bw.gif - My first attempt to do art with my right hand. I sent it to
>MS in an attempt to get a job in 1991 the now claims this picuter is

TOM: What's a picuter?

>harassment of them?  

MIKE: Well, a picture of a queen flippin' the bird at Bill Gates could be
      classified as harassment.

>
>shasta01.gif - Police document taking My daughter from in on 12/16/95, 2
>days after MS made false allegation against me again. 
>
>Anyone that says that they are not using my children as apoint of
>harassment is a nut.

CROW: And anyone that says she took English 101 is a nut.

>                      Just look at the documents.

TOM: But I don't want to.

>                                                  This sick obsession of
>Mr. Gates to steal from me and harass me at the same time is pretty weird
>for me.

CROW: I've done it to other people several times, but it happening to me
      is a first.

>         He seems to like hurting me and my children and then rubbing my
>face in his power by taking anything he can. 
>
>My situation is not a secret. Even the Principle at Redmond High knows 
>about what is going on.

MIKE: What does HE have to do with it???

>                        People will not help us. My daughter is being 
>harassed and shunned at school. Her girl friend are not permitted to come 
>over.

TOM: Sheesh! A loss of one friend and she gets emotional.

>      It's like we are some form of trash. I can't get a job or even the 
>same support services other handicapped people get. 
>
>I'm suppose to be a genius and can't get a JOB?

MIKE: Well maybe your NOT a genius after all.

>                                                I don't bring up this 
>fact except that it does support the fact that Mr. Gates is black balling 
>people from working in this industry. I'm real stupid.

TOM: And there you have it, folks!

>                                                       I actually thought 
>he could be reasoned with.  
>
>He is one sick man.  Any man who would attack a helpless and defenceless 

CROW: AND iliterate.

>women and her children to make money is very sick.  I'm not crazy. I'm  
>just dealing with crazy people. There is a difference. Even the police, 
>told me that this was the case. Still they are too afraid of Gates to do 
>anything. I don't blame them at all either...
>
>J~

TOM: Look for the J!

>
>I'm not posting stuff on this network for personal reasons.

MIKE:[Brewer] I'm just doing it to spam the internet.

>                                                            I have no 
>recorse at this time for suing or pursuing MS legally. There is a statue 
>of limitations that prohibits this. Now that I can't sue, I want people 
>to know what they may also be put through... 

TOM: The Robot Holocaust.

>
>What you say here can and will be used against you.

CROW: Well, if it's to get net.kooks like her off the net, I'm all for it.

>                                                    The hard part is that 
>you can say nothing at all, and someone can edit it to make it look like 
>you did....

MIKE: Think Brewer wrote this?
BOTS: YES!

>            THINK ABOUT THAT! If it happened to me it can happen to you!
>
>

TOM: You WILL believe.
MIKE: Well, that's it. Let's go!
[Mike and the bots leave the theater.]

[1...2...3...4...5...6...7...]

[SOL]
[Mike and Tom are behind the desk. Tom is playing his Sega.]
MIKE: Well, that's the end of the experiment. It's time for letters.
[Crow comes on screen with a package.]
CROW: Here's one for Tom! [Crow puts the package on the desk.] WHOOSH!
[Crow quickly goes off screen.]
TOM: For ME?? Oh boy! [He opens the package. Mike empties it on the desk.]
     OH JOY... What IS this? [Looks at the items.] Long, red sticks with
     a string on one end.. and look, the string is sparkling.
MIKE: Ut oh...
[BOOM! Mike is covered with smoke, and dust. Tom is messed up, and so is his
 Sega.]
MIKE:[Cough] What [Cough do you think, [Cough]Sirs?
CROW:[comes on screen.] You look good, Tom.
TOM: WHY I OUGHTA!!! [Mike taps mads light.]

[D13]
[Frank is on a hospital bed, in bandages, and IV's hooked up to him. Dr.F
 is standing in front.]
FRANK:[weak] I had jello, today.
[Dr. F pushes the button.]


                                  THE END

[End Credits]



  Mystery Science Theater 3000 and related characters and situations are
  trademarks of and (c) 1995 by Best Brains Inc. All Rights Reserved.
  Use of copyrighted or trademarked material is for entertainment purposes
  only. No infringement on original copyrights or trademarks held by Best
  Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. This in no way is to harm
  the reputation of Joan Brewer, Bill Gates, MS, or any others mentioned.
  Super Nintendo is a trademark of (c) Nintendo of America Inc. Sega and
  Sega Genesis are trademarks of Sega Enterprises Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

                         directed by Claye Hodge
                          written by Claye Hodge

                 music composed and arranged by Claye Hodge

                         produced by Claye Hodge
                          edited by Claye Hodge

                             Special Thanks
 
                         RATM Posters Everywhere
                          Teachers of America
                         misties@jg.cso.uiuc.edu 


                         edited in SHADOWWAMMA!!!


> 
>"Sega sucks big fat dick."
> 

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