Offerings of catnip may be offered to Queen Maeve's picture. After one day, members are encouraged to give offerings to needy cats.
Get theOfficial Church of Last Thursday FAQ!
Last Thursdayism is the belief that my cat, Queen Maeve, created the universe Last Thursday. There is a lot of evidence for Last Thursdayism (though I won't mention most of it here). The best evidence is the finicky design of the universe and of the human species. The learned observer can obviously see that we were designed as a slave race for cats. Think about it, will you?
We're all awaiting judgement day, Next Thursday, when Maeve will judge our souls based on our kindness towards cats of all kinds.
The duties of Church members are few. You have but to scratch the head of, rub the belly of, give a kitty treat to, etc a cat at least once a week. This is the minimum for salvation. Becoming a slave to a cat(often incorrectly refered to as "owning a cat") is one of the best things you can do.
Those who are judged favorably by Maeve will be entered into paradise where they will become cats. Heathens become slaves to cats in paradise. Those who are cruel to cats will have their souls cast into the Eternal Litterbox where they will wander forever. The Eternal Litterbox is never cleaned.
It's a wonderful belief system and I plan to have it introduced into the public schools. After all, why shouldn't we have "equal time" with godless evolutionism, wacky creationism, and the Invisible Pink Unicorn? I'm working on a purriculum that includes bringing Queen Maeve into the classroom to answer questions(if she feels like it). This is something that cannot be done with those "other theories."
We're even planning to become an "official" religion (with full tax-exempt status) in the United States, Canada, Australia and who knows where else. Well, at some point we will. I've learned too much of Maeve's procastination skills. =-P
Incidently, Mark Harpt has refused to debate me on the topic of "Can Last Thursdayism Be Refuted?" Mark has claimed repeatedly on talk.origins that he's able to do so. Despite claiming to only have personal problems with myself, he refused to debate Robert Kern on the subject. So I went ahead and had the "debate" without him. =-P I'll have that up on the page soon.
We're now linking to a site call the Catz Club which leads to a site detailing animal abuse around the world along with petitions asking the government to make it a felony. The Catz Club can be reached at http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Glade/9479/index.htm.Email me(email@example.com) if you want to become a listed member of the Church of Last Thursday and worship Queen Maeve the cat. Please be patient. I frequently get a huge backlog of mail and may not respond in a timely manner. And when I do, I don't get around to updating the webpage in a timely manner. I've learned too many of Maeve's procastinating skills.
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