|"As a promotional gimmick, the King Arthur Mortuary offered free movie passes to anyone who could successfully remove "Excaliber" from the corpse's chest."
- BD Ballou
|A scene from PHANTASM 2 which aired on TNT's MonsterVision on Saturday, Oct. 30 at 1:45 am ET/PT
MULTIPLE VOTE GETTERS:
Grandpa could barely contain his laughter and keep himself still. "Boy, this sure is going to scare the grandkids!" he thought to himself, anxiously awaiting their arrival.
McMurdo (3 votes)
When I told you to put the sword in Grandpa's chest, I meant his wooden chest upstairs. Now pull it out before Grandma sees it!
Bart (3 votes)
Heloise was right. The dagger-in-the-heart does distract attention away from an unsightly gravy stain.
Mr.Gootan (2 votes)
"Ed was ALWAYS dressed to the hilt."
Elick Robertson (2 votes)
"Maybe it's me, but I think the knife is redundant."
Stephanie Harper (2 votes)
Boulder, Colorado police believed Jack's death to be a suicide until it was discovered that he had no arms!
Jim Sparks (2 votes)
It's a good thing I accumulated all that sick leave.
Christopher Martin (2 votes)
John Glenn takes another trip into space.
Chris Adams (2 votes)
That was the last time Mr. Miller told Mrs. Miller that her dress did indeed make her look fat.
ScaryMann (2 votes)
A terrible accident occurs during the Deadwood Retirement Home production of Camelot.
BKM (2 votes)
With as many enemies as Jeb left behind, maybe an open casket wasn't such a good idea!
Mom (2 votes)
The vampire hunter knew that there was only one way to stop Stom Thurman
Alex L. (2 votes)
Not exactly what I meant by a tie tack!
Brett (2 votes)
Sure, senior citizen participation SEEMED like a good idea at the National Knife Thrower's convention..
Willjum (2 votes)
Another dinner guest accident at Medieval Times caused by the Green Knight's sweaty palms
He said this Halloween Fun drug would wear off and I could talk - sit up and TALK!
Leila M. Phelps
"Well, I didn't want to get up anyway, so this is actually a good thing."
I ordered steak ala carte not stake in the heart
On the bright side that stain will come right out with a little dab of club soda
I think I'm hurt.
THE CORONER DECLARED THE KNIFE SWALLOWER DIED OF HEARTBURN
Let me at ya'! I'll tear you limb from limb! What? This? This is only a flesh wound. What casket? Let me at ya'!
Every Halloween, Barry Goldwater hosted a "Haunted House" fundraiser for the Republican Party.
"Hang on, let me pull out the other poll."
Dangit! They told me when i took this part, that an Alien would pop out of my chest!
Warning: Pulling out dagger will result in gushing embalming fluid.
Boy, taking 2 viagra pills made my whole body stiff.
Dracula's favorite practical joke was to lie in his coffin with a fake knife attached to his chest.
The knife went so well with his suit, we decided to just leave it there!
Fred's last words were "Hey Doc, I have a stabbing pain in my chest."
THERE WERE MANY MORE WORTHY ENTRIES. SORRY WE DON'T HAVE ROOM TO INCLUDE THEM ALL HERE!
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