|Monday November 1, 1999
Perfect Forms in Motion
You people, all of you out there, you public people, you
Americans, you Europeans, you Africans, you Asians, and you Eskimos out there, you're
all a bunch of freaks. And you'll probably really like this site.
Tuesday November 2, 1999
From the Deck
Rather than spew my mumbo jumbo, I'm just going to let
you read what they wrote about themselves. Take it away!:
"Tales from the Deck and its associated pages
are made possible by the voluntary efforts of 15 gifted individuals who have chosen
to eschew the lucrative corporate senryu market to further the advancement of a free
World Wide Web."
|Wednesday November 3, 1999
Everybody likes music and so I'm awarding a music site
with the pick of the day because sometimes you just want to be a person and know
what's going on in the music world. I don't think it's too much to ask. Anyway, you
don't have to ask because Usounds is already answering.
|Thursday November 4, 1999
This is sort of a strange site. It's about love and hate.
The design and graphics are cool. I just wonder if everyone who talks about love
really lives their day in that mindset or do they just preach it on the web. Go see
|Friday November 5 - Tuesday November 9, 1999
This site is extremely helpful...I think. It's a a showcase
of web designers, illustrators and artists. You might as well get the email addresses
of these illustrators and designers and artists and see if they'll do something for
your website for free. Then you can send them a sandwich in the mail.
|Wednesday November 10, 1999
You think you got everything you need? I doubt it. Stop
being so arrogant. At least if you're going to be as arrogant as you are and alienate
as many people as you have, you might as well learn how to back your style up.
|Thursday November 11, 1999
Imagine coming home one day from work to find that your
house is a pile of dirt and, if you're lucky, human corpses.
|Friday November 12, 1999
boy meets website, boy designs website, boy is proud of
website, boy wants whole world to see website he designed, boy submites website to
Fierce, Fierce pick of the day reviewer says, "ok, sure, it's cool, you get
the pick of the day." The End.
|Monday November 15, 1999
Do you know the world, where everything is, who to call,
where to stay, what to see, who to eat, how to dress, what to say, who to say it
to, how to stop, when to go, when to say goodbye, how to say I Love You. Travel Cuts
has tips on travelling.
|Tuesday November 16, 1999
This is a singer. This person has songs. You can hear the
songs on the site. It's upbeat and fun. People like fun. Fun makes happy. Happy makes
smile. Smile makes good. Good fights bad. Bad goes home. The world gets bright. Everyone
loves everyone else.
|Wednesday November 17, 1999
Some people have stores that sell ice cream and leather
jackets, some people are lawyers who will defend you, others are anthropologists
who will research the history of cultures, it just so happens that Anti-Pschutt,
Inc. offers a celebrity beating-up service. This is their business.
|Thursday November 18, 1999
The Adventures of Professor Ashfield
"AUSTRALIA DECLARED A WORK OF FICTION, NOT REAL"
He's got headlines, cartoons, and funny rants. And he delivers on time.
|Friday November 19, 1999
I've never figured out what D.A.R.E. stands for; something
about driving drunk or doing drugs or somebody against drugs. I'm always drunk or
whacked out when I'm driving so it's hard to read the signs, nevermind the bumper
|Monday November 22, 1999
I was happy to find someone who had put in some effort.
Effort is the one thing you can't always find on the web. I mean, look how short
these pick of the day reviews are. It's pathetic.
|Tuesday November 23, 1999
I was happy to find someone who had put in some effort.
Effort is the one thing you can't always find on the web. I mean, look how short
these pick of the day reviews are. It's pathetic.
|Wednesday November 24, 1999
This is one of those sites where it's like sitting next
to a table of people who are cracking up, laughing hysterically, cackling up a storm
to the point where you kind of want to know what's so funny, you're beginning to
feel left out.
|Thursday November 25, 1999
It's time to face your fears. But I'll make sure that you
face your fears. You're gonna wish you had faced them earlier...because I'm not gonna
be so nice this time around.
|Friday November 26, 1999
"Elias Vict Incorporated is an alternative/counter
culture anti-corporation dedicated to whatever we particularly feel like being dedicated
at any particular time."--Elias Vict/C.E.O.
|Monday November 29, 1999
won't you come and play my hell
all the time all the time
you make me roar!
I would like to submit the above as a daily diddy. You can do such type kind of things
on the site of Jezebel.
|Tuesday November 30, 1999
I always want to get a glimpse into other peoples' lives,
no matter how boring. I wonder if anyone would care about my life besides myself.
|Wednesday December 1, 1999
Nancy Carreiro Illustration
It's rare that I find a painter I can tolerate. I think
her stuff has spunk. I like it. Something refreshing about it. So that's it. Does
there have to be another reason? I like the woman's art. So that's the way it is.
|Thursday December 2, 1999
Angular Vision Design & Graphics
For anyone else out there who's really doin it, and I don't
mean just sittin around thinkin about doin it, but really doin it, y'know, I just
want to send out a big Keep Doin It to those that are doin it, those that are really
doin it. I am so out of here it's ridiculous.
|Friday December 3 - Tuesday, December 7, 1999
If you're interested in what a website made by aliens might
be like, then I suggest you go to LUMICON, because I believe with all of my heart
that it's being run by aliens. And the scary part is that some of us may even work
|Wednesday December 8, 1999
The truth is that this infinite amount of knowledge is
actually filtered into your brain every time you go through the frozen foods section
in the grocery store. Mom Bomb's for parents. Parents gots somethins to says. And
they's been sayins it on Mom Bomb.
|Thursday December 9, 1999
Forget about your preconceptions on Canada, this technology
is so cool, it doesn't matter what you're looking at. Go down the street with your
cursor, turn corners with your cursor, go fast with your cursor, go slow with your
cursor. This isn't the first time I've moved my cursor if you catch my meaning.
|Friday December 10, 1999
There's a feeling of imminence I like about this site.
Something big is about to happen. I need that in my life so I appreciate it when
a site gives it to me. I also appreciate it when they show free porn but that's neither
here nor there. That's just for me. Personal.
|Monday December 13, 1999
On those warm summer nights...Kopelow.com. When your mouth
is dry and you don't know who you are...
kopelow.com. When you like what you see and you're a big gorilla...try a glass of
kopelow.com. If your face is a face of mimicry...then you are a fool...and everybody
|Tuesday December 14, 1999
Anyone who puts haikus on their site, I will like them.
Especially if they're nonsensical haikus. I've found my weak spot, my achilles heel.
Anyway, this guy's a little off balance and he needs your support. Just where does
he find the time to be a CIA agent AND a webmaster for a comedy site???
|Wednesday December 15, 1999
h e v o i d
Ever slip into a pair of my underwear and wonder why it
is my underwear you're putting on? Ever turn your tv off by accident and it feels
like divine intervention?
If you answered 'yes' to any of the above questions, then you are required by the
U.S. government to go to t h e v o i d.
|Thursday December 16, 1999
I like colors. They make me feel soft and the softer I
feel, the more likely I am to touch not only myself but whoever's around me, and
that's good business...right, mom?
My mom: Right.
|Friday December 17, 1999
Why do I have to care about sandwiches now? Why is everything
in the world somehow dealing with sandwich content? you wonder. Well, if I have to
answer these questions, then some of you Slavics out there aren't telling the whole
truth.This has nothing to do with anything, by the by.
|Monday December 20, 1999
"Don't you hate when people tell you what you should
and should not hate?" -- taken from my mind.
|Tuesday December 21, 1999
He's a Big White Guy (BWG) and he lives in Hong Kong. And
you know what? YOU don't.
|Wednesday December 22, 1999
Wanna Be Famous
Key buzz words here: WANT, NEED, NEED (again), NEED (again),
Anyway, if you're that kind of person, then you do NEED to be famous, if not, you
REALLY need to be famous.
|Thursday December 23, 1999
You find yourself thinking, "I could be that guy.
That guy has my life. He has my wife, my children, my house, my cars, my dog, my
boat, my vacation home, my hats and ties and jackets. And now I'm going to take it
back. I'm not going to sit back and be a silent agent in the downfall of my own being.
I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to take what's mine and never look back. This
world better watch out because there's a storm passing through and it's called my
black lust. For the women."
|Friday December 24, 1999
There's monkeys. I said MONKEYS!!! You're all a bunch of
monkeys. Smelly no good rotten monkeys, sittin around all day, chewin on your wanker
with a pile o nothin sittin beside you. None of you care. Lickin each others' hair,
sticking your fingers in each others' ears, putting your head in some other monkey's
ass, and everyone wonders why health care is so bad in this country. Take a look
around you, monkeys! You're all a bunch of monkeys!
|Monday December 27, 1999
There's enough to keep you busy for awhile. But I suppose
there's some of you people who will say, "Oh, but not forever, right? .... they
can't keep me there forever, right? .... see, that's why the web is so bad because
you just get bored ....they can't keep your attention forever.....eventually you
want to look at something else....."
do you really want to do anything Forever?
|Tuesday December 28, 1999
This is the best search engine. I'm so excited right now.
I say, naked/not naked, threatening/polite, hate/love, comedy/tragedy, these are
all just polemical constructs we...construct....to enable us to "deal"
with death. So when you ask me if I'm naked, all I can really say is, "Yes.
Yes, I am."
|Wednesday December 29, 1999
o l o d e c k : 73
It's kinda like Wired, but it's not. It's kinda like an
ezine, but it's not. It's sorta like a design site, but it's not. It's kinda like
a place to get news, but it's really not. It has these things, don't get me wrong,
but it's NOT those things at the same time. It has them, but it's NOT them, if you
can see what I'm talking about.
|Thursday December 30 & Friday December 31, 1999
In their submission to us, they wrote, "i like you."
That's pure love if you ask me. Pure love needs to be recognized. I'm giving this
Pick of the Day NOT only for Cool Films, but for all the other incorporated beings
who continue to spread pure love throughout their lives and the world, at large.
Now I'm going to get drunk and vomit in some stranger's bathroom this weekend I'm
so excited by this sentient beauty.
|Monday January 3, 2000
Do you ever just look in the mirror and say, "these
are my breasts; these are my fingers; these are my fingers touching my breasts; now
my fingers are massaging my thighs; no, now you're fingers are touching my
thighs; those are your thighs?; yes, those are my thighs; those
are some nice thighs; thanks, thanks a lot; no sweat; well, a little sweat; have
a drink with me; I really should go; come on, one drink; why not...right?; right;
so what's your name?; Hick, Hick Freidman, and you?; Arnold Gular, but you can call
me Hick, too; great, that makes my life a lot easier; good, I'm glad; let's get some
salad; good idea; this way.
|Tuesday January 4 & Wednesday January 5, 2000
The beauty of the world is the beauty of the soul and the
beauty of the soul is the beauty of the heart and the beauty of the heart is the
beauty of the mind and the beauty of the mind is the beauty of the spirit and the
beauty of the spirit is the beauty of love and the beauty of love is the beauty of
miracles and the beauty of miracles is the beauty of life and the beauty of life
is the beauty of god and the beauty of god is me.
"What, mom?...No, the new experimental medication is working just fine. I'm
going to bed now. See you in the morning. We'll go buy that toilet seat."
|Thursday January 6, 2000
They'll get you the best deal possible.
Just don't let the optomotrist see you writing down the serial number.
The site owner would like to say a few words, "we also
offer full lines of sunglasses with pictures and a shopping cart system for upto
50% off retail. We have entire lines such as Revo Rayban Bolle Serengeti Maui Jim
Gucci Calvin Klein DKNY Killer Loop Armani Persol Hobie Smith Vuarnet and Arnette
|Friday January 6 & Monday January 10, 2000
It's not just about going to her
apartment or looking at the scantily clad pictures of her. This cult film queen is
opening her arms to you and saying, "Welcome!" If nothing else, I saw "Tromaville"
on her site and Troma Entertainment made The Toxic Avenger. Not Bad. Not bad at all.
|Tuesday January 11, 2000
You say to yourself, "I wonder
what this does"
"I wonder what this does"
"I wonder what this does!"
That might have been what the guy who lives above me, emptying his entire insides,
|Wednesday January 12, 2000
None of that "today I bought juice. I love juice. I was reminded how much we
need juice to live. Everybody drinks juice. All my family and friends love juice.
I'll probably drink juice forever." And they'll title that "Juice - 01/19/00."
No, his stories are real stories.
Is anyone getting tired of peoples' 'about' pages? Like this, "We're a bunch
of writers and designers who weren't finding a good resource for quality web content
so we got together and fused our talents." Fuse this, buddy, ok?
|Thursday January 13, 2000
I think each person who goes here is going to walk away
with something different. Which will lead to a lot of "What are you talking
about? That's not what you do there." "That's exactly what you do there.
I did it there so I should know."
"That's not what I did there."
"Different people do different things."
"That's not what I did."
"Did you masturbate? Is that what you did that I didn't do?"
"I can't believe you tried to pull the wool over my eyes."
"It was worth a shot."
Which one of the above conversationalists are you?
|Friday January 14, 2000
Nutopia is all fine and good, but I hope nobody minds my
stealing their shit.
|Monday January 17, 2000
They know the importance of space.
So I'm assuming that their club is comfortable because of their sense of space on
the website. I'm not going to play games with you...the website is a page.
They don't cloud your mind with pictures, employees, history of service, menus, drinks,
hours, songs, parties, memories, reminders, memos, errands, thingamawats, and doohazards.
I appreciate that. You stay out of my personal box of space and I'll stay out of
yours. Good shabbas to you.
|Tuesday January 18, 2000
Erpino Fine Art
Say hello to Ann Erpino. She's a painter. Probably
some of you are saying, "I wish for things every day." Ann Erpino is no
different. She has wishes. She wants people to view her art.
I hope to be a geisha someday and wear fine kimono, learn the trade of the shamisen
and the beautiful dances of Japanese tradition. In the meantime I'm going look at
some of her art. Surely, you can do the same.
|Wednesday January 19, 2000
Australians are some of the most neglected people on the
planet. People always talk about Ethiopians and places where there's famine, where
people pee on their legs and other good things. But the truth is that people don't
care about Australians. They're tired of em. Nobody wants to know them and even Australians
themselves don't much care for each other. I've had it on good notice that an Australian
who "makes it" in the real world, meaning everything outside of Australia
is sort of looked at with scorn, rather than welcoming them as part of it all.
So look. I don't know what everybody wants from everyone else. These guys are Australian.
|Thursday January 20, 2000
Finally, our very own conspiracy theory generator. Since
the world isn't in its proper and true state of paranoia, the dudes over at this
conspire site have made things a little easier. You don't have a conspiracy theory?
Well, you better go get one from them. You give them the info, the who's, the where's,
the how's, and they'll presumably give you all the why's.
|Friday January 21, 2000
Remember when everyone was so excited about the new information
superhighway? It was all, "Now we can learn anything about Aztec Indians. Now
we can learn anything about Japanese fighter planes. Now we can learn anything about
killer spiders." Nobody knows how to find anything about killer spiders, Japanese
fighter planes, or Aztec Indians. But I bet everyone has a safe place to get their
I'm right, aren't I?
|Monday January 24, 2000
You're thinking, "not another website that designs
websites, produces original music, and deals with all things disease related."
I know. They keep popping up everywhere. Everyone wants to produce original music
these days and then retire to a secluded room with close friends to talk about AIDS
and cancer. It happens to me practically everyday. Everyday, I always end up either
designing a website or dealing with computer graphics in some way, and then I close
up shop in order to target my attention towards eating disorders. And then I call
Manuel and he eats all my secrets.
|Tuesday January 25, 2000
I'm always talking about art and how great all we artists
are. But I couldn't even be talking about all this rapscallion crap if it wasn't
for the programmers of the world, the programmers who gave us the web, computers,
telephones, and open-faced turkey sandwiches. I want to extend a healthy "keep
at it!" to all the programmers of the world by giving a site like dotcomma the
pick of the day award. And now, to celebrate the programming festivities, I'm going
to dissassemble my car and drive my tv around.
|Wednesday January 26, 2000
Internet Page for Milton Mills
This guy's a hoot.Here's what says about his grandson &
"Always whinning about something becasue hisfather is a hippy that is supposedto
be a goddamn genius according to my daughter/ his wife. Chased kid with my radio
controlled dune buggy and he kicked it and I should have kicked HIM! At this
rate he's got a chinaman's chance in hell ofbeing a man by the timehe's my age...i
like gin. Johnny Carson and Rotary OF 127...Rotary meetings on tuesdays. we drink
gin fizzes until we forget to go home. I always offer to arm wrestle George Haynes
and he shows his true colors, YELLOW!!"
|Thursday January 27, 2000
I don't know who made her a queen, if she's really a queen,
if you're a queen, if I'm a queen, or anything.
You go, you decide if this whole "queen" business is just
part of a healthy self-image or a sham...the same way my second birthing was.
|Friday January 28 - Monday January 31, 2000
Bored by your own thoughts? Want to leave the party early
because you're bumming yourself out? You're just plain ol tired of
doing what everyone says, what everyone's been saying, and what everyone will
continue to say. Why not take this moment to be the "who says" of everyone
saying things. You say something. You never say anything. You don't know what
to say. So what difference does it make if you say what you've been told to say by
the usual sources or by a new source? Well, here's a new source. Forget about saying,
what are you going to do?
|Tuesday February 1, 2000
The Urban Legend Magazine
The schools are getting better, people's cars look better
than they used to, children are wearing more make-up, elephants are getting the proper
therapy. Did you know that swingsets are being made better and octopus are learning
to share? I read that grass is actually greener now. I was told that olive oil is
becoming superior to most other things. Skin is higher quality now. Things are really
getting bettter. Things are really improving by the minute.
|Wednesday February 2, 2000
Don't ask me to explain anything, because I don't know
it. Furthermore, I can't do it. I would if I could but I can't. So I won't. And if
you wanna know the truth, I really shouldn't either. I shouldn't, I can't,
and I won't. People keep coming at me, asking me about their problems, when are they
gonna get better, when will it end, when will the suffering cease and the joy begin?
Why hasn't it started already? All I can say is that not only can't I, I shouldn't
and I won't.
|Thursday February 3, 2000
How many of you really know your browser? Do you know where
it goes after you've gone to bed? Do you know if it's stealing money from you? Do
you know who it's hanging out with lately? Did you know that your browse had its
period? Or that it has a boyfriend now? So your browser comes to me and wants advice.
Then I go to Browser Spy and get all the answers and then come back to your browser
and give it the answers it so desires.
|Friday February 4, 2000
There's art, and then there's art, and then there's
even "art" and ART! and then there's arte (French), and then there's ARTelevision.
Watch these people be people while you're a person who watches.
|Monday February 7, 2000
Art from Wired Hearts
And vice versa.