Buy or die! Buy or die!

Gabriel: Glasstrons. Since the dawn of time, man has struggled to understand the...

Tycho: Shut up. Welcome to Penny Arcade's review of the Sony Glasstron PLM-A35 Personal LCD Monitor. You might remember our comic on the subject a while back - you know, the one with the thingy? Yeah. In a nutshell, the Glasstrons are a display device that you can wear on your head. It's got RCA and S-Video inputs so just about anything can probably be plugged into them, but not everything should, if you get my meaning.

Gabriel: Give me an example.

Tycho: Like cats. Boy, you learn that one the hard way. Let's hit 'em with the specs.

  • Official Site
  • Weighs 3.5 ounces
  • Built-in ear bud headphones
  • RCA/S-Video Inputs (I said that already)
  • Optional 7 hour battery
  • 180,000 pixel display
  • Simulates a 52" screen from 6.5 feet away
  • Kicks Ass
  • Takes Names
  • Gabriel: The first thing you'll need to do is read the manual the comes with this thing. It'll be easy to find in the box - it's the one with a skull and crossbones on it, bound in human skin.

    Tycho: Half... No, wait. I'd say 70% of it is designed to inform you (the person who just dropped four hundred dollars on it) about the various ways they can destroy you. Here's a sample from the grim menu: Seizures, Sickness, Headache, Nausea, Eye Injury and Electric Shock. Don't use it while there's outside motion. Don't use it if you're younger then 15 - why? Check out this dandy quote: "The eyes of children are still developing and may be adversely affected by the use of this product, and it may cause eye-fatigue, eye damage, or loss of visual functions."

    Gabriel: That means you'll go blind. They break your eyes.

    Tycho: The glasses themselves are extremely light. I mean it - a whole lot lighter than you think they would be. Also, they're smaller than they appear in pictures, the same size as a regular pair of sunglasses without teevees inside. They connect to a small power supply box that has loads of knobs and sliders - brightness, volume, that kind of stuff - this is also where the battery goes. It's just a regular Sony camcorder battery, easy to find just about anywhere, and it'll run you about fifty clams. A potpourri of cables and converters awaits you in the box, which we thought was a nice touch - a full set of good-quality RCA cables and gender changers for all three. The ear bud headphones are comfy, and delivered unexpectedly rich sound - they really round out the package. It's quite an immersive experience, especially when you have a bag on your head. Click here to see what we mean.

    What do you say? Let's plug it into our favorite consumer electronics! For us here at the Penny Arcade Institute, that falls into four main categories - the Dreamcast, the Playstation, the PC, and the DVD player. Let's do those in order.