Previously, on Andy Meets World ... Episode 801/802: Aloha!/Ruthie's Problem On the eighth-season premiere of MTV's "Real World," a bisexual alcoholic practically jumps out of the fish bowl. Our reality-TV correspondent gets the net. Episode 803: Opening Dialogue In our weekly "Real World" debriefing, hair-color conspiracy theories pile up, homosexual tension mounts, and Christians rock. Episode 804: The Kiss "I did what? With who?" Fun with plausible denial on the latest episode of "The Real World." Episode 805: Will You Be My Valentine? The twentysomething-going-on- twelve cast of "The Real World" explores the difference between "liking" someone and "liking liking" them. Episode 806: Wild, Wild Ruthie MTV's "The Real World" — it's gettin' to be ri-god-damn-diculous. Episode 807: Treat Me Right What happens when "Real World" roommates stop being impolite — and start getting mature? And did you hear the one about the minister's son who brought home a stripper? Episode 808: Justin Gets Confrontational This week on "The Real World": homophobes and heterophobes clash, a would-be-model refuses to eat and someone pukes without getting drunk first. Go figure. Episode 809: Crossing the Line Ruthie, the "Real World"'s one-woman party, drives drunk through the fourth wall — and slams into an ultimatum from the Powers That Edit. Episode 810: Heartache In a come-from-behind bid for the "Real World" drama-queen crown, Amaya shows us that her heart may have it even rougher than Ruthie's liver. Episode 811: Fearless The "Real World" cast says a remarkably un-contentious "Thank U" to an Indian vacation. Plus: Kaia dates a famous rapper and jumps off a cliff. Episode 812: Glass Houses Ruthie is called for a Teck-nical foul, and Matt intervenes in an intervention. Episode 813: The Ultimatum "The Real World" judges Ruth, and readers respond. Episode 814: The Aftermath If you weren't outraged by this week's "Real World", you weren't paying attention. Plus: Teck on heroin! Episode 815: Excess Baggage The "Real World" cast hits the Third World, where Justin plays Machiavelli and gives Colin and Amaya's relationship an Indian burn. Episode 816: The Irony and the Pity Facing his roommates' wrath, "The Real World"'s Justin cites a family emergency and pulls his rip cord. How convenient. Episode 817: Amaya Takes A Stand "The Real World"'s Amaya revokes her favorite frat boy's charter and jumps out of a plane. Plus: Teck helps Matt act out some of his favorite "Showgirls" moments. Episode 818: Ruthie's Got Game This season's "Real World" cast lives on an island. But lately, they've been treading water. Episode 819: Charitable Institutions Pencilling some selflessness into their busy schedule of immature self-involvement, the "Real World" roomies do some work for charity. Uhh, how about "Save This Show"? Episode 820: Dealing With Dirty Laundry This week on "Alanis Explains It All" — uhh, we mean, "The Real World" — we learn why women go to the gynecologist and how not to pick up girls. And they say MTV's not educational. Episode 821: Stand and Deliver This week on "The Real World": How do you solve a problem like Amaya? A savage dis-fest that makes "The Blame Game" look like "Rosie", that's how. Episode 822/823: The Matt and Kaia Show On "The Real World"'s jam-packed season finale, Matt, Ruthie, Amaya and the rest of the strangers catch the last wave outta town with little hugging and less learning. End Of The World "The Real World"'s already had its season finale, but Andy's gotta get his last licks in. Who's the most obnoxious housemate? Is temporary stardom as one of seven strangers really worth it? And in the words of Method Man, izzit really real? Check out Student.Com's weekly TV picks in Test Pattern, and let us hold the remote.

And one day, a demon possessed one of the children, and his hair got straight and pointy and his eyes glazed over and he went nuts. And when the rest of the group tried to get help for the soon-to-be exiled one, the demon-possessed nice guy tried to block their every move, shoving himself in front of the cameras and declaring that he would be the hero.

Okay, Matt wasn't really possessed by a demon, but Episode 813 was still freaky, even without real "Exorcist"-worthy behavior. When we left everyone last week, the ominous "to be continued" was hanging over our heads. The lingering question: after calling her own house meeting (to address her castmates, and about a half dozen random people she'd apparently hired to portray her friends), what would Ruthie say?

As it turns out, nothing, really. She said she had a problem and that she wanted to deal with it in her way. She babbled some stuff about being labeled an alcoholic and becoming that label (right: someone please call me a lottery winner — now, hurry!). And then the politician in her refused to take questions and left.

Of course, the cast wasn't about to take crap like that, especially from someone who's threatening their supply of glasses. First, Colin and Amaya corner weasel-boy, because, as Colin points out, "anybody who has half a brain could tell" that Matt told Ruthie everything. But Matt stands by his little intervention, telling us, in his "Stigmata" voice, that "hiding the truth to get to a deeper truth is more important." I almost expected Colin to give his former best bud a swift kick in the ass to knock some sense into him.

Rachel, Ruthie's older, non-triplet sister, then meets with the group. "I want to take her out of here," she says, but she realizes that Ruthie won't leave on her own. Colin works the phones, calling treatment centers and scribbling notes into his Palm Pilot (another cast perk? Or is Colin just the mack-daddy of cool personal electronic devices?). They soon realize that no program can or will force Ruthie to stay, and recognizing that she probably won't help herself, they decide to issue an ultimatum. "The only leverage we have is the house," Justin says.

All this is too much for Matt, who isn't getting all the attention anymore, dammit! "I feel like, as a person, I'm slowly breaking down," he says. (Uh, "I"? Who has the problem? And since when did this turn into MattFest '99? Wasn't he ranting and raving about everyone being too selfish and pointing the spotlight at themselves when it should be on Ruthie?) Regardless, he breaks down, collapsing and letting the tears flow. After telling us that "there's potential for Matt to snap," Kaia tries to comfort him, but even she isn't into it.

Another freakin' meeting is called, and the ultimatum is issued, but by Matt, who apparently read in one of Kaia's pop-psych books that only one person should talk during an intervention. I'm guessing the cast was afraid of PsychoMatt, because they stand aside and let him act as ringmaster. I didn't major in psychology, but I'd bet that it's not exactly the best idea to have the most unstable person within a four-mile radius perform an intervention. But Matt pulls it off, just barely, telling Ruthie she can enroll in a treatment program for alcoholics or move out within 24 hours. The rest of the cast sits stone-faced, refusing to speak.

The conclusion My inbox groaned under the weight of the flood of responses that I received from my call last week for your suggested endings to last week's cliffhanger. It took time to go through both messages, but I finally whittled the avalanche of entries to this one, the undisputed victor. The winning entry, for both the accuracy and humor categories, is from Dr. Satan (that's his real name): "I'm betting Ruthie will continue to deny she has a problem, tell everyone they have no right to interfere in her life, and to fuck off. Teck and Justin will call bullshit and tell her she has a problem she has to deal with, as will her sisters (at least the older one). Marge will offer up some new age psychobabble about the goodness of her soul and her incredible life force, and Amayaconda will hug her rabbit and snuggle up with Schmoopy Woopy Colin while he stares blankly. Her Jersey Girl friends will wish desperately that they weren't there and will watch the whole thing uncomfortably. Matt will rise to Ruthie's defense, making matters worse and pissing her off. Ultimately Ruthie will storm off, get hammered, and doing something stupid and belligerent that forces the Bunim-Murray powers-that-be to give her the ultimatum of rehab or expulsion from the 'project.'"

Ruthie strikes back: "That is not a choice — that is an ultimatum." With the cast unresponsive, Ruthie stands up and looks around, asking if they're done. That makes for the most awkward but hilarious minute in "Real World" history, as Ruthie incredulously looks at everyone with an expression that silently screams, "I wouldn't waste my time bothering to scrape any of you off the bottom of my shoe if I accidentally stepped in you."

Ruthie frets over the "choice" she has, talking to her sisters and her on-the-ball counselor (who sits and whines "yeah" so many times, I would have committed myself to escape her). It's the same thing over and over for Ruthie: I was going to fix my problem on my own, I'm not going to be babied, blah blah blah. Quite simply, Ruthie is a stubborn brat — something she admits, but refuses to change. If she was on fire and someone told her to stop, drop and roll, she'd just stand there and burn to death rather than take their advice. In defense of the five non-psychotic cast members, there's really nothing you can do to help people like that; issuing the ultimatum was the only real option they had if they wanted Ruthie's behavior to change.

When it's time to report her decision back to the group, Ruthie tries to plea-bargain, saying she'll go look at the treatment center and see if it'll work for her, but she refuses to commit to 30 days. She gets more blank stares back and a solid "we're not negotiating" from Justin. The 24 hours start ticking, and Ruthie storms off, saying, "This is not real."

And then Ruthie packs her stuff and moves out, coyly hinting that she's not going to reveal her decision to the cast. In any case, she's gone, out of the house, for now. Resolution, finally — right? Sadly, it seems to not be the case, at least according to the clips from next week. They show patron saint Matt in a restaurant — where else? — talking to and lunching with Ruthie.