House and Garden
BIZARRE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCES.
Jason Errett - 12:42 pm PDT - Aug 9, 2000 �-�#73 of 115 Pizza delivery! If we expand the concept of "restaurant experiences" to include pizza delivery, I've got some good ones.
I worked for a few months in college as a pizza delivery guy in a really, really bad part of town. This part of town is referred to by the local police as "the war zone".
I delivered pizza to hookers who'd ask me if I'd take a blow job instead of cash for the pizza, I delivered pizza to junkies who'd answer the door with their rig in their hand, and then procede to crawl around through the shin deep trash on the floor looking for money to pay me, I delivered pizza to a crack house while it was being busted, and I finally delivered pizza to a dead man, "30 minutes or it's free", and he ended up waiting the rest of his life for his pizza to arrive.
On The Eighth Day, Mooks Drank
like Dune worms, nosing this way and that, finally pausing at a suitably reserved site. Each then digs itself in, backing and forthing until it is comfortable, then falls asleep, its rumble quiet. People tumble out and hang electric blue tarps all around to protect their privacy. They go to bed early. At 7 in the morning a lone and graceful waterskier, pulled by a classy classic boat, a black lab standing with forefeet on deck sniffing the air ahead, makes a circle of the lakes through the rising fog and against a brilliant rising sun. And then the mayhem starts, culminating at sunset with half a dozen or eight teenaged and pre-teen jetskiers congregating out in the middle of the lake, yelling back and forth and playing patterns and chicken. At 9pm the ice cream truck comes through. A voice -- a chiding one of a father to a daughter -- "MacKenzie...." At ten a bugle sounds. Soft yoohoos echo across the lake and back and forth.
It was pretty fascinating.
I prefer islands where the dogs can run loose and I can get naked if I want in the cool dark air and we can take a midnight paddle when the lake is smooth as glass and the trees tower up at the edges and their reflections dig deep into the mirror lake. Where I can smoke a bowl without the parents next door thinking I'm corrupting their children...
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