USELESS SITE OF THE WEEK
Useless Site of the Week:
Chicken for President
"This race is really heating up. . ."
Blast from the Past:
Build Your Own Cow
"It's a lot harder to tip over a three-headed cow."
"Meet the Host"
Hello everyone! I'm John, and I'm quite proud to be taking over this fine collection of wackiness.
Be sure to check out our new Web Animation
section! Get your submissions in now!
THE USELESS PAGES
- Greek Alphabet
"This is why they never made Greek Alphabet soup. It's too hard to
- Buildings that Resemble Humans
"I don't know many people who look like headless celery, but maybe that's
because I don't have as many friends."
- Talking Cereal
"Mine told me, Please, for the love of God, DON'T CONSUME ME!
- Pokemon Cooking Fun
"Mmm. . . tastes like underpaid third-world animators."
- Apologize to Steve game
Just like in real life, Steve will apply the guilt later.
- The Nose Pilot
I wish my nose dripped flowers too. . .
- Random GeoCities Page Generator
It's rumored that there is even a worthwhile site hidden in there! Good
It's like taking an odd debate and adding 3-D glasses to it.
Like a scary clown, only with props. Is that a chicken neck in his hand?
- Trifle Hut
An obscure site devoted to an obscure dessert.
- The Tongue Page
Great for those times when you have lots of envelopes to seal.
- Apogee FAQ
The pinnacle of gaming in the '80s
- The Dialectizer
After a few legal battles over this famous useless service, it's finally
back in action. Rejoice.
- Barney's Peekaboo Problem
I'm glad Microsoft is concentrating on the important things. . .
Honey, you know how you've been bugging me to put my picture on the net...
- MutantWatch 2000
Yet another mock-hacked site to promote a movie. . .
- Juggling in Movies
If we get a few more of these, I'll have to make a sub-catergory.
- Bad Sideburns
Forget scissors, these guys need a weed-whacker.
- Let The Olsen Twins Sing
Imagine cleaning up all of the vomit in the stands. . .
- Me and My Cats
A lot of people make sites about pets, but not many of them have such
At least he used colors. . .
- Watch Corn Grow
For guys like Orville Redenbacher, this is almost like porn.
- The Smallest Site
Unless, of course, you have a tiny monitor to begin with.
- Ficus 2000
What's it take to be a real leader? A little water and a little sunlight.
- Minimum Airspeed Velocity of Swallows
Yeah, but how fast can they go BACKWARDS?
- Jamming Scissors In Your Crotch
Soon to takeover Pokemon as 'Fad of the Week.'
- Who wants to marry a Sysadmin?
Who wouldn't want to be grep'd by these guys?
- The Braille Website
It's a pretty 'flat' story, if you ask me. . .
- Orange Peel Flame
What the heck is that metal thing in the background?
Is there anything MORE useless than those annoying little e-mail forwards?
- True Facts
When they say 'open mind,' they mean 'brains removed with an ice cream
- Most Translated Web Page
71 languages and counting...
- Jesus on a Pogostick
This is for all the people with those 'Footsteps' posters.
I think the irony is easy enough.
- Galactic Calendar
If they're so confident in their system, why does their year start on July 25?
- Admiral Ackbar for President
That lookalikes page must have taken awhile. . .
- Darth Vader for President
I voted for Erik Estrada as V.P.
- 16 Years of Navel Fluff
Imagine if he made a shirt out of it all. . .he'd get secondhand navel fluff!
- Used Y-Wing Emporium
Looks more like a well-endowed H-Wing to me. . .
- Teddy Bear Cam
If the bear could move, I'm sure it would have some killing to do.
- The Transfused Opera
See what happens when you mix crystal meth and theater?
- Soup At the Movies
You have to love when people actually take time to make sites like this.
- Egg Macbeth
There's going to be yolk everywhere! Oh, the carnage!
- Political Slapfests
Yes, they have sound effects too.
- Clawde the Lobster
Wait until you see Margy, the giant talking vat of butter.
I guess they are in NEED of financing before they can give any out. . .
- One-word Names
In a word: Semi-inaccurate.
Kinda ironic that they want to become a brand name, eh?
A "Waste of electrons"
"A grand directory of sites whose makers obviously have too little talent,
and too much time on their hands, the Useless Pages document the worst of
-- The Bangkok Press (5/17/00)
"A very useful site."
-- Dave Barry, in his book
"One of the best sites on the Web."
-- Marc Andreessen, speaking at the Commonwealth Club in California