Darva Conger Interview

Libby interviews Darva Conger

Libby

First off, I'm surprised at all the negative attention from the press. A sweet kid like you, maybe a little long in the tooth--you just wanted a husband, you took the only route available for you to get one--why is the media all over you?

Darva

I'd like to start with marriage has never been a goal in my life--I never pictured myself walking down the aisle.

Libby

Oh, you poor kid that's so sad. There is someone for everyone! You're not bad looking, you're kind of cute in a plain Jane kind of way. Why do you have such low self esteem? Your mother Susan Harrison was in the Sweet Smell of Success, but then she went crazy or got old am I right? Do you think the low self-esteem comes from her? Or is it your big nose?

Darva

...I don't think I've got a big nose.

Libby

No, of course you don't dear. It's probably your age.

Darva

I wouldn't say that. I've got terrific self-esteem I am who I am and....

Libby

That moment must have been a moment of triumph, a real "told you so" moment. Little Darva Conga doing something no one dreamed was possible. Little Darva found a husband!! You must have been ecstatic.

Darva

Actually no, it was awful, I think that I knew the minute that he kissed me in such an inappropriate manner on national television that he was not the kind of person I wanted to be associated with. Those feelings intensified with further contact with him.

Libby

Oh, you poor sheltered kid. No one likes kissing!! It's something you do to get a house kids and maybe if you're lucky an SUV. Poor Ricky must have been crushed.

Darva

He took the thing seriously, he kept talking about how he hoped we would fall in love with each other. I just cried.

I told him the minute we landed in Barbados that this is not working for me. "I don't have these feelings for you. I need to let you know right up front. I don't want to lead you on. We can have a friendly relationship, we can have a good time on this trip. I'm not going unless Cheryl ( the chaperone) goes the rest of the trip. And I want separate cabins, separate rooms. If you'd like to do that, it's a great cruise, we'll have a good time."

He said, "Well, why were you on the show?"

"With all due respect, you picked me. I didn't pick you."

Libby

Darva, that is exactly what happens on all honeymoons except for the show part. Let's face it the old clock is ticking, what are you 40?

Darva

I'm 34.

Libby

You see? You can't afford to be picky right now. There are things that go on between a man and a woman that although necessary are degrading and sometimes messy. This whole fiasco could have been averted if you're mother had just given you the talk.

Is there any chance you can patch it up with Rick?

Darva

I don't ever want to see him again.

Libby

What if I was to phone him and tell him you were PMS-ing?

Darva

No!! I just want my old life back.

Libby

So what comes next other than Lean Cuisine for one and a library card.

Darva

Well, I'm posing for Playboy.

Libby

Oh, Darva. Darva, Darva Darva. Showing your bazooms is not going to get you a decent husband.

I've got a soft spot for you kid, I keep thinking if I hadn't been beautiful and talented I could've ended up like you.

Here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to hook you up with my nephew Frank. Sure he's a little slow since he drank all that gasoline, but he's got two things going for him: he's a man and he's single.

Darva

Uh, I would really prefer if you didn't.

Libby

I see, can't handle another rejection now, huh? I understand.

Wait I've got a great idea! I could have a raffle or something, and you could be the prize!!! We'll think of some smart marketing thing,and this time there'll be no annulment loophole because we sure can't afford to let another fish out of the net. This time you'll be prepared because Libby's going to explain the wedding night to you.

Whattaya think?

Libby's Note:

At this point in the interview poor, poor sheltered Darva left and my heart just broke.I vow I will find her husband even if I have to go the mail order route.

Poor, poor Darva.