In which the goddess Callisto explains how Ares regained his godhood and we look at some of the highlights of her extraordinarily long life. Also features advice from Callisto on how to live your life, her philosophy on crime management and a true and accurate account of the destruction of Cirra.

This is a sequel to More Sinned Against Than Sinning and Callisto Explains It All, whose fans now number almost 10 (plus or minus five).

If you haven't read these already, you should do, because surprisingly, they're not bad. If you have no plans of reading them ever, click here for a brief summary of the events that have passed before. Remember that if you change your mind at a later date, all the surprises will be spoilt for you. If you don't want to read either the plot summary or the stories themselves, then you should be able to pick things up as you go along.

Warning: Contains scenes of violence (against various people), mild blasphemy (against various religions), implied sex (of various wholesome and unwholesome varieties) and bad writing (of various degrees of awfulness). The story is also 'subtext' aware.

Historical accuracy: Please consult the Heart of Darkness historical authenticity note for the usual explanation of just how reliable Xena isn't in such matters and the few steps I've taken to try to improve the situation.

Disclaimer: The character of Callisto is the property of Renaissance Pictures. Renaissance Pictures is the property of Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert. Rob Tapert is the property of Lucy Lawless. All other characters, even those resembling real people, are purely the figments of my imagination except when I've obviously been plagiarizing. Pictures are copyrighted to lots of people including MCA, Tony Stone Images and me.