Orlando (AP) -- Bad news for pubescent girls everywhere.  Today, smash hit pop group 'NSYNC announced today their guilty pleasure:  they like to eat balls. 
  Fans everywhere tried to cope with the shock.  Though this isn't the first time this has happened, the news came as a surprise to those who would never have thought the pastime would've infected their favorite boy group. 
  "First I find out that Mr. T likes to eat balls, then the Backstreet Boys, and then Britney Spears.  Now I find out that 'NSYNC likes it as well?  What's the world coming to?  Where can children find some good, wholesome, mindless music?  NO MORE BALLS!" said Tipper Gore, Vice-President Al Gore's wife. 
  Some blame 'NSYNC's recent label jump from RCA to Jive Records for the group's deviant behavior.  Top executives disagree.  "Jive Records is not responsible for any ball-eating behavior, regardless of what 'NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys have decided to do," said Wally Whitmore, CEO. 
  "Don't believe what Whitmore says," said a Jive informant who requested anonymity.  "He knew 'NSYNC was a ball-eatin' group before they came, and the same goes for the Backstreet Boys.  In fact, I hear he's a ball-eater himself." 
  As for the members of 'NSYNC themselves, here are several instances--caught on camera--that reveal how they truly feel:
  

"What's the world coming to? Where can children find some good, wholesome, mindless music?  NO MORE BALLS!"
           --Tipper Gore

Wanna know where I get my juicy information about 'NSYNC?  Check out AKA.com for more ball-eatin', *NSYNC goodness!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES AND STRONG STOMACHS ONLY!

In what might be considered one of
'NSYNC's most heinous acts yet, young singer Justin Timberlake actually bites off the balls off a live man (Ozzie style) and wears the underwear around his head as a trophy.  Psychologists are shocked, and can only describe this behavior as "unnormally abnormal."  

Joey "The Phat-One" Fatone shares his dinner desires.

One question remains.  How did 'NSYNC get into this moral depravity? Some claim that Timberlake's failed relationships with teen sensation Britney Spears, an avowed ball-eater, drove him into the addiction, and the others followed suit. 
Others believe that both the Backstreet Boys and 'NSYNC became balls addicts on one particularly raunchy night on the town.  Just who started it then?  Did BSB drive 'NSYNC to a moral decline, or did 'N Sync's new found success in its new album "No Balls Attached" take BSB to a nasty habit?  Who is responsible?  The world may never know. 

Could this ball-eating wrath be nothing but a call for help from the young men of 'NSYNC?  YOU be the judge!

Total number of victims from a ball-eating frenzy:

E-mail me:

jh4704@lyon.edu

If you're a member of 'NSYNC, go here. I have a personal message for you!

NEWS FLASH! Lance Bass appears on Regis Philbin's popular game show!  Read about it here!

Note:  This page is purely satire.  It in no way implies the true eating habits of 'NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, or any employee of Jive Records or their affilliates.  (I'm sure they do engage in some ball eatin' from time to time though!)
Oh yeah, and this doesn't mean 'NSYNC or the Backstreet Boys are gay either.  So too bad.  Any of these pictures on the site probably aren't copyrighted, but if they are, they're the property of their respective site.  So there.  And I...uh...sure did ask them for permission too...yeah sure...er...yeah.