Shedding BBC blood
Who says BBC journalists are not afraid to turn their fire-power on their own? Robert Thirkell, the man behind Blood on the Carpet, is lining up a fascinating documentary for January. It centres on BBC apparatchiks Matthew Bannister and Trevor Dann and their stewardship of Radio 1. They clashed spectacularly during their tenure, most notably over Chris Evans' uncontrollable outbursts on the breakfast show. As both are now pursuing careers outside the BBC, they should be able to bitch freely about each other in front of the cameras. Can't wait.

PRs' payback time
One of the angst-ridden Daily Mail's biggest bugbears is the dumbing-down of Britain. It never misses the opportunity to moan about the quality of TV sinking to new lows. So it was a shock to learn that one of its star-writers, Jane Kelly, has been voted the Weakest Link in Fleet Street. She volunteered to appear in a journalists' version of Anne Robinson's hit quiz show today. Miss (Daily Mail house-style) Kelly, 40-something, was the first to be voted off. She was asked one question and got it wrong. Alas, she didn't know "Which film provided John Travolta with four UK top 20 hit singles in 1978?" If you don't know the answer, ask Jonathan Plunkett, TV editor of the Sun. He won. The appearance of a bunch of journalists being ritually humiliated by the terrifying Anne Robinson meant the usual half-service supplied by the BBC's PR department disappeared altogether. The live audience was made up of PRs who queued up to see hacks being skewered.

Rare sighting of Jay
Is Peter Jay, for the first time in his BBC career, feeling a little insecure about his future? The BBC economics and business editor made a rare appearance on the BBC's Ten O'Clock News last night. Was it mere coincidence that he left the comforts of his Oxfordshire mansion to join the news team on the day Greg Dyke announced that Jeff Randall was going to take over as business editor. The sheer delight in seeing Jay on screen was enough to make newsreader Michael Buerk fluff his lines.

Rebels with a cause

Sue Lawley reveals her own Desert Island Discs in this week's Radio Times, confessing to share a penchant for Bob Dylan with many of her guests. "It's an age thing," she tells Rupert Smith. "It's a moment of rebellion." Dylan has been a favourite with guests ranging from Michael Nyman to Rick Stein via Lynda La Plante, all of whom, presumably, are trying to recall lost gropes on anti-Vietnam marches. Monkey wonders whether anyone at the BBC has even heard of the Sex Pistols.

Bowl of cream required

The handbag award for bitchiest comment by a media type goes to one M. Jackson of Horseferry Road. Channel 4 boss Jacko unsheathed his claws while banging on about his strategy for further pay-TV ventures at the whizz-bang press launch for new entertainment service E4. "We don't see any point launching channels for the sake of it," pronounced the Jackster solemnly, "that's known as the Carlton strategy". Miaow!

Low-profile media appearance for Birt
Since he quit the BBC to don ermine in the upper house, Lord Birt has been religious about keeping a low profile. So Monkey was privileged to witness his re-entry to the world of media - at the opening of an bustling young marketing firm's new offices last night. Before you commiserate with Circus, Monkey can explain - his daughter apparently works there.

Mail hacks defect to Mirror
Oh dear, the Daily Mail's well of love just isn't deep enough. Maggie O'Riordan, one of its newsroom stars, is quitting to join the Sunday Mirror as a senior feature writer after a foul-mouthed bust up with an executive. And Alun Palmer former showbiz reporter has been offered a top job at the Mirror - as deputy showbiz editor.

No Go Yo Yo
Top marks to Flextech Telewest, which is making a stand against the increasing trend for silly names. The newly-merged company commissioned branding consultancy Wolff Olins, the company behind Orange and Go, to come up with a slightly catchier moniker. But Wolff Olins' suggestions - understood to include Circus and Yo Yo -- have all been rejected, leaving Flextech Telewest just months to come up with a new name before the merger is complete.

Image consultant
The ad industry's most notorious workaholic can kiss his hard-earned reputation goodbye. Images of McCann-Erickson's industrious chief executive, Ben Langdon, sunning himself in St Lucia were beamed into the nation's living rooms at the weekend after he was caught on camera for the BBC's Holiday Guide. Rumours that Mr Langdon engineered the TV appearance himself to show off his newly-trim physique are entirely unsubstantiated.

Be afraid...
Scarlet fever is alive and well, and sweeping through new weekly mobile magazine Mobile. Editor Glenn Tompkins has been quarantined after contracting the nineteenth-century disease and hypochondriac staff are now fearing for their lives. Could this be the first signs of a plague sweeping the media industry? Trust media to bring back a disease that hasn't been seen for decades. Symptoms to look out for are sore throat, fever, headache, a red rash, delirium and agitation - not much to go on, given that this could apply to just about any old media exec.

Signs of a man desperately clinging to his youth, part 1
You are a charming media type, with a sharp dress sense and a beautiful new woman from the telly in your life. So when it comes your leaving bash you need somewhere impressive to entertain your friends and contacts. So can anyone explain just why BBC1 controller Peter Salmon chose The Limelight club (trendy circa 1985) to bid farewell to his chums?

Editing life's bowl of cherries
Lis Howell, the woman who launched UK Living, is back, and not a day too late. Howell has launched a portal for the over-35s, called bowlofcherrries.com (no, not bowelofcherries.com, which, incidentally, has not yet been registered), and roped in 50 of her celebrity pals to add kudos to the site. Monkey was bemused by a glaring omission in the press release for the site - absolutely no mention of GMTV where Howell spent two years of her life. Could this be a new F-factor in her career - F for forgettability?