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As Vice President of the Lawndale High Fashion Club, it is my duty to examine the social impact of advances in shopping technology by fully researching the impact of online commerce on teenage buying habits and credit card abuse (at least until Mom and Dad find out).

Shopping on the Internet is very convenient and private, which is a good thing if you are really a size larger than your friends think you are (not me) or are fed up with certain people making comments in the dressing room about your shoulder blades being of uneven elevation, which they are just imagining.

The downside is that you can't try anything on unless you pay for it, so you don't get to see how great you look in outfits that are way out of your price range.

And let's say the delivery comes when you're at home alone and you try on a lavender slip dress with eyelet edging and it gets stuck on your head while you are taking it off and there is no one there to help you and you can't even see to dial the phone for help and you have to wait until your sister comes home and beg her not to take pictures. Not that it ever really happened, no. What sister?

Now if you think charging in cyberspace is cool, just wait until the future! I hear that shopping implants are being invented in some cold country where everyone is blonde, and soon you will just have to think about something to automatically buy it.

At least that's what Daria told me before she went off to spend her dirty hush money on some depressing book.

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