the Big Brother nightmare is over.
Jammers in da
at CBS was "tight" (by CBS's
laughable standards) Friday night for
the finale. Security guards patrolled the
perimeter on foot, bicycles and golf
carts. They also dispatched a drowsy
rent-a-cop to the condos across the river.
We're not sure if he ever woke
production staff members were on the
lookout for interlopers.
ya think that stopped us?
a long (but fun!) story and will be posted
in 3 parts over the next few days.
I - The Studio Audience
II - The final exit and Media Jammers
about damn time!:
III - Fun with
we'd like to wish each of the contestants and their
families the best of luck in the future. We hope
that despite your participation in a show that will
go down as one of the worst disasters in television
history, the reputation will not extend to each of
you individually as you set out to achieve your
goals, whatever they might be. We would welcome the
chance to have you share your thoughts with us on
your participation, and our and other individuals
efforts to influence your experience. We have
answers to a lot of questions you may still have.
And you definitely have answers to a lot of
questions that remain important to us. There is
plenty of contact information on this page. We'd
love to talk to you.
nightmare may be over, but that doesn't mean that
Media Jammers is folding up shop. We're tying up
some loose ends with regard to Big Brother, and
we're anxiously awaiting the filing of the first
lawsuit. Trust us. It will happen shortly. We have
a few tricks left in our bag and we are close to
answering a few remaining questions about issues
like consumer fraud, and breaches of professional
ethics. Lucky for us, the press has run with a
barrage of critical post-mortems trashing
from an entertainment standpoint. We hope they will
now take a deeper look into the more serious issues
and move the headlines from the entertainment pages
to the hard news pages.
Brother gave us an easy target to hit the ground
running with the entire Media
Our goal will continue to be to mock the media and
expose irresponsible, exploitive and damaging ways
the media interfere with people's lives. There is a
wealth of targets out there. If we learned anything
from our first project, it is that one can never
underestimate the stupidity of boneheaded media
dweebs. In this case, the fact is that the Big
Brother braintrust did most of our work for us.
There is no way we could have embarrassed them on
the level that they embarrassed themselves. We're
just glad that we helped.
like to thank everybody that supported us and
joined us in our efforts to shed light on just how
bad this television show really was. We even
appreciate the criticism. It went beyond bad
television, in our opinion. If you've surfed around
the site, you know that we have serious concerns
about the way this production was handled, and the
negative way it impacted several contestants' lives
and those of their families and friends. On the
lighter side, we had the opportunity to portray CBS
and Endemol Entertainment as the shallow witted,
incompetent entertainment industry simpletons that
proud to say that despite CBS's efforts to deny our
existence, every one of our operations was
successful except for one. We regret that
particular failure, but we feel pretty good about
our record. We finished the season 10-1. Not bad.
If you're wondering, the failed project was one in
which we tried to get the contestants in the house
to plug our web site. Unfortunately, our one
attempt failed. We ran out of time. It would have
been the icing on the cake seeing those plugs on
the internet feeds considering the network and the
production company hate us more than any other
entity involved in interfering with the
were laughed at the first few times we claimed that
we had taken over the control and direction of the
show. But people stopped laughing about the same
time we lost that control to other groups that took
our ball and ran with it, creating complete anarchy
by way of airplane banners, megaphones and other
miscellaneous tactics. We don't personally condone
every attempt and every agenda, but we're amazed at
the phenomenon that the fans, haters and critics
created through interacting with and influencing
the actions of the contestants, the producers and
the network. CBS's idea of "interactive" was
charging a dollar per banishment vote. We all ended
up creating our own interactive options, and we
took control. That is an astounding precedent in
was a long strange trip. We never guessed we would
have ended up where we have, considering it all
started with one crazy little stunt that cost us
300 bucks. Our original goal failed. Nobody walked.
But we're glad that we had the chance to expose the
network and the producers for the disingenuous
frauds that they are, and could shed some light on
their irresponsible and exploitive
(depending how ya look at it), there appears to be
another season of Big Brother coming to our idiot
boxes. We're glad to see that at least in the
aftermath, CBS and Executive Pinhead Paul Romer
acknowledge that there must be big changes to make
the show successful. We just hope they are the
right changes. Of course we doubt they are smart
enough to recognize what "the right changes" might
be. They have a long track record of reacting
exactly the wrong way. And they still do not
understand that a flimsy perimeter of minimum wage
rent-a-cops does not equate to "tight" security.
amazing what one can get away with by blending in
with the locals, dropping a few fictitious names,
and more or less bullshitting one's way through
each checkpoint. Why even have a list of names when
a little bullshitting got me right into the studio?
Special thanks for hiring "Temps on Time" of Los
Angeles. If you hadn't hired them to fill out the
outside crowd, I would have never blended in and
broken away to sneak over to Studio 19. The only
other group you bused in was made up mostly of
Asian female high school students. I'm pretty good
at blending in with crowds, but I don't think I
could have pulled that one off. The metal detectors
were a smart move though. Some of those temps were
pretty surly looking. And the temp I cut in front
of to get through the turnstile reeked of liquor
and...well...let's just leave it at "other
miscellaneous unsavory odors".
hope CBS appreciates that in my infiltration of the
finale, I only left them with egg on their face,
when I easily could have disrupted the live
broadcast at any given time. Their fate was truly
in my hands Friday night, and I let them off easy.
I'll probably be criticized for that. But for me,
the chance I had to introduce myself to some of the
houseguests, explain to them why we did what we
did, listen to their thoughts, and of course, have
an actual Big Brother production staffer cheerfully
snap my picture as I sat on the "love bed" were
more of a payoff to me than any chance I had
to create a big meaningless spectacle. During the
live studio segment I could have easily jumped
naked onto the set with "Media Jammers" painted
across my ass. But I didn't. You're welcome Paul
(By the way Paul, I enjoyed our brief conversation
Friday night. It was a pleasure shaking your hand
and congratulating you on the great job you did).
for the others we mocked mercilessly...well...we
don't much care if Dr. Drew, AOL chat twinkie
Regina Lewis, the guy who called Ms. Megaphone a
bitch, top CBS rent-a-cop Mike Skinner, Dr.
Del Rio and the entire braintrust involved in this
disaster twist in the wind. You have absolutely
nothing to be proud of...nothing at all.
exception...A personal note to disgraced former
journalist Julie Chen: Thanks for the picture.
I mean that sincerely. All of us at Media
Jammers hope that you outlive your current
reputation. Best of luck in the future.
by Jeff Oswald
us Paul (or Douglas, or anybody from CBS)! We'll
talk to you. Honest!
Media Jammers officially replaces Endemol
Productions as executive producers of Big
people just don't get it!
Brother co-executive producer Douglas Ross sets the
record straight on who's fault it is that the show
How Big Brother manufactured the Rockford voting
scandal and set up a contestant's family to take
Chen - is it too late?
disgraced former journalist Julie Chen regain her
credibility... like... ever?
CBS rent-a-cop tires to go all Tagi
Tribe on our asses
Megaphone harassed by CBS
The houseguests' favorite outside contact retires
for fear of more CBS intimidation
George - Save Brittany "
message still unclaimed. Why is that important?
Read about it here.
Doctor Del Rio
retired psychiatrist's questions about Big Brother,
professional ethics and medical
Romer's lie of the day
a media jam of his own, Paul Romer dupes the New
Consumer Facts bulletin
Lotteries, and Solicitation of Funds"
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