the first images and video of id's new doom game came out at an apple demo for the new nvidia geforce 3 card. here's some galleries of the images, looking as tidy as i could make them. ok, so they're tiny and dark, but hey, they're the first. they'll get better as the game's progress moves on. oh and here's a link to the video at blue's news.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO USE, merchandise. uhh, because all good memes are just itching to sell out?

News service needs a few (nude) journalists
"TORONTO - An Internet-based news service is looking for journalists with nothing to hide. They don't even need experience in journalism, NakedNews.com said on Tuesday."
found at: fark

can't wait for the new recruits. nakednews is one of my all time favourites.

Zoo keeper mauled to death 'after defecating on tiger'
"A young Chinese tiger keeper has been mauled to death after apparently trying to defecate on one of his big cats."
found at: fark

so he's found pants down, shit hanging out of his arse, and blood all over him, not a pretty way to go. and besides that, what the hell was he trying to shit on them for?!

Doctors save patient by getting him drunk
"Adam Langridge doubled up in pain after drinking orange spiked with anti-freeze during a prank at work.
The only cure was to get him to drink the equivalent of a full bottle of vodka to speed the poison through his system."
found at: fark

i'll remember that, if i ever accidentally drink anti-freeze.

"Introducing the most discreet and humane self-defense you'll ever own. Get the full reach of a stun-baton, without drawing stares on town or city streets. Discreet Stun-Brella resembles an ordinary collapsible umbrella. Until you hit the hidden trigger. Then a snapping blue glow of 80,000 volts jolts out of the tip. Tough Enough to instantly put down even wild thugs for 3-5 minutes - without permanent damage. Why not enjoy hi-power security without looking like a riot cop?"
found at: memepool

My Internet love is a corpse-hoarding granny
"Trevor Tasker's online romance went from steamy to chilly when he flew to the States to marry his love, only to discover that she was an old age pensioner with a corpse in her freezer."
found at: metafilter

heh. this one's a classic. love the last line.

damn it! tony hawk is in aotea square doing his thing right now. i just drove past, saw a massive crowd, and figured it'd just be some embarrassing christian band or something, so headed home. heard about it on the radio just as i was getting on the motorway. grrrrr. had a snappy little digital camera in my pocket too.

and even yet more fiddling about with things.. if you cast your eyes over to the far left column, you'll see there's now a 'most commented on' box.. so just like it says, it keeps track of the top ten most commented on entries, which so far tends to mostly be me and tristan squabbling, but hey, that can be entertaining :)

i've finally got round to tidying up the latest archive pages (the ones since the switch to greymatter) to being tidy like the rest.. this probably doesn't affect anyone but me, unless you were wondering why the most recent three weeks of archives looked so bland in presentation. but i just thought i'd mention it seeing as it feels like a small achievement, and i'd been putting it off for ages :)

i've just put together a slimmed down lite version of the home page. so if you're finding the page loading annoyingly slow some days, it may save some time. it looks like crap, but looks aren't really the point of it, so there you go..

i've only done the home page so far as that's the only one i personally find loads too slow.. but i might do lite versions of some of the others later if the mood hits me..

i'm going to have a rant..

there's something i've been noticing on the net for a while, and it's fucking pissing me off. that sentence being a prime example of what this thing is not. what are people doing? they're self censoring, people are sitting there typing up their intellectual american college student debate point about why government pressure to censor the internet is the worst evil since playboy started airbrushing, and they'll say "f**k that".. not "fuck that", not "that shit twists my nuts", they'll say "f**k that s**t".. i mean, do these people have a sense of irony?

you see it at slashdot, you see it at metafilter, hell, greymatter (the software we use for the 'links' column here) even has a feature that automatically **'s the words out for you. the simple fact that it's there as an option makes me twitchy.

why don't i do that fast-got-old-last-time-someone-did-it trick of showing you that the words exist in the dictionary, with quite distinct definitions. here's shit (Used to express suprise, anger, or extreme displeasure.), fuck (Used to express extreme displeasure.), fuck up (To bungle. and i mean, if some cock (obscene term for penis) politician does something stupid, are you really gonna say "oops, he bungled that one", or "g'damn, what a fuck up"), cunt (Used as a disparaging term for a person one dislikes or finds extremely disagreeable, or The female genital organs.), goddamn, motherfucker, the list goes on.

they're there kids, and they're a damn sight more affective than mamby pamby bollocks like shucks, or gosh, or "oops, bit of a blunder there". fuck has been about since the 15th century, you've had plenty of time to get used to it, and so has your mother.

so next time i see someone self censor on the internet, i'll give them the same respect i give to the creators of internet censorware software, or radio stations that play gansta rap with the lyrics blipped out, and you can take a guess how much that is.

yes, i'm messing with the column widths again.. and the links are doing that little underline on hover thing..

pay no attention, i'm just messing about to try and kill off the redesign urge, before it forces me to do a whole new layout again.. last time i did that i spent the next week finding and fixing all my fuckups..

that's it, i've had enough.. i haven't been blatheringly drunk in more than a week, and i'm beginning to doubt my sanity.. it's sunday, so i'm officially dubbing it "the sunday upon which matthew makes an obnoxious drunkard of himself"..

so i wont be posting much, infact i can almost guarantee i wont be posting at all.. so talk amongst yourselves, perhaps have a game of show and tell.. or alternatively someone find the soon to be birthday boy tristan and get him to post something for once, the lazy sod ;)

and on that note, i'm out, with the hope that i might get the opportunity to expose myself in public, and perhaps spend some time in police custody..

i've finally got round to tidying up the search feature here. incase you hadn't noticed, it was looking like someone shat on it for the past several months. but now it looks all sparkly, and probably fairly useful again.

try it out, throw words at it, see what happens. and if you break it, tell me.

just heard on the radio that a government commission is taking submissions right now on the issue of marijuana law reform in new zealand!

if you know where we're supposed to be submitting to, pipe up now!

ok so i'm running banner ads for real now..

it's half because i haven't paid my hosting bill for months, so i think james will probably stop inviting me to parties soon.. and half because i've always wanted to run banners for porn sites, so now i can say i have ;)