Girls!!!

Here's how to hook an evil scientist.

Our own Evil Doctor of Love reveals the secrets of sexcess!

Brandton J Artwistle

This man knows. Just look at him. How can some like that not know?

Evil Doctor of Love

Girls! If you've got your eye on a mad scientist, its no good sitting around on your hands waiting for him to take an interest.

You've got to go out there and get him - if you don't someone else will. Snaring a scientist is easy with my guide to help you the catch the dish of your dreams.

IN THE OFFICE

Take a good look round the office - your ideal evil scientist could be sitting at a desk next to you. Attract his attention by casually dropping a vial of foul smelling chemicals and then mention your fascination with tyrants of the 20th century.

If he's the man for you it won't be long before you are making him sandwhiches, whilst he cackles hysterically in your castle.

IN A DARKENED ALLEY

Keep your eyes open when travelling through places shrouded in darkness. You never know what ghoul will be haunting the night. Always pull a handcart loaded with the corpses of hanged murderers.

Any potential suitors will flock to you, attracted by collection of hand drawn carrion.

Cleavage, Candle and Dark, Remember them.
Always show cleavage, carry a candle and wander round darkened places

AT HOME

Don't worry if you arrive home without a date for the evening. Try the neighbours, perhaps one is a fevered medical student, searching for the answers to mankind's greatest questions. Be neighbourly, and offer him your Van De Graffe Generator.

Soon, you'll be happily reanimating corpses together.

ON HOLIDAY
Visit a remote tropical island, where small oriental types in blue jump suits patrol the beach and high cliffs. Look for any group of westerners

and simply engage their tall combat gear wearing, eye patched commander to a deadly knife fight.

Within minutes of killing or maiming him, you'll have the undivided attention of the callous warlord who runs the island, in a regime of terror and opression.

WHAT TO WEAR

Enhance your chances of trapping a tyrant with a choice collection of costumes.

Wear BRIGHT occult robes covered in cabalistic symbols, or why not try a SURGICAL GOWN covered in dubious stains. If all else fails, wear a BIKINI and lounge by a swimming pool. Semi militaristic costumes never fail to impress that tyrant with truly globals designs, either.

At night make sure you are wearing ELABORATE REVEALING, ornate, impractical costumes, and sleep in a sexy four poster bed.

NEXT ISSUE: FELLAS!!! HOW TO PULL A BACK STABBING HARLOT!!