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The Top Ten Scenes Cut From The Sixth Sense

You all knew there had to be one:

"I see dead people's... hands up your ass."
"You know that prickly feeling on the hairs of your ass?"
"Yeah..?"
"That's them."
Okay, damn it.. I get a HUTA joke in too. (runewitch@hotmail.com)

Before you go any further: if you HAVE NOT seen the movie, and you DON'T want the details spoiled, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!

But if you HAVE seen the movie, or you just don't care one way or the other, then please... enjoy.

10. The scene where the kid badgers and berates ghosts into giving him details he can use to blackmail friends and relatives of the deceased. (mklinger@gp.as.ua.edu)

9. "I see dead people."
"Like in the ground?"
"No - walking around."
"Do they ever say anything to you?"
"Yep. 'Yippie ki-yay, mother filker.' ...whatever that means. They said you'd know." (lurkster@lurkster.zzn.com)

8. Bruce Willis comments on his wife's cold feet in bed. (david_gouldin@hotmail.com)

7. After a particularly emotionally intense scene, Haley Joel Osment looks directly into the camera, smiles, and says "Jake Lloyd is a f***in' poser" (harrisonbergeron@hotmail.com)

I didn't know Jake Lloyd liked to filk!

6. In a very touching scene, Cole is initiated into the romantic arts by a dead prostitute. (Wait sounds like the plot from Meatballs III) (dtoxopeu@ccs.carleton.ca)

5. (Bruce Willis to child's mom ): Well, I'm not wasting anymore time HERE. This kid's obviously a wacko. DEAD PEOPLE? Come ON! (ldsauer@erols.com)

4. A scene where the rest of the New Kids on the Block shoot themselves in the head. (skypilot@ezaccess.net)

3. Hudson Hawk director's tormented soul running around in search of peace. (skreeel@yahoo.com)

2. The little boy says to Bruce Willis, "I see your musical career." (RogR2020@aol.com)

Hey, The Return of Bruno was pretty cool! Just Bruce Willis, a harmonica, and one of those sleeveless wife-beater t-shirts.

Here we are at number one... and for the first time in Intergalactic Top Ten history, we have a TIE! And there was much rejoicing ("yay.").

1. After Bruce Willis is shot, the medics show up.

STAN: Yep. He's dead alright. No way this movie can go on unless he's a ghost for the next 90 minutes.

HARRY: Hey will you shut up you're gonna get us cut outta the movie altogether.

STAN: So what! It's not like this flick's exactly Oscar material or anything. (Slartibean@cs.com)

And...

1. INT: Willis' home. He watches his wife sleep and sees his wedding ring roll across the floor. He glances down and sees that he is still wearing his ring!

Cut to: Willis runs to the door to his basement office and sees the table in front of the door. Begin montage of previous scenes that show "Hey Stupids! He's been dead the whole flick and you didn't see it!" Then the front door bursts open, flooding the room with bright light. Shapes move through the light and Willis covers his eyes as he squints to see out the door. Shadows move through the light as VENKMAN, RAY and EGON enter the room with proton packs humming at the ready. WINSTON follows with a trap in one hand, pack in the other. Egon points the detector at Willis.

EGON: There it is. A class 3 full body specter.

RAY: I knew he had to show up tonight, it's their anniversary.

VENKMAN: Didn't I see this guy in Los Angles once, some high-rise?

WINSTON: Peter, just hit it.

WILLIS: What tha...

The proton packs fire off the proton streams and wrap tight around Willis.

RAY: Got 'em! Winston, hit the trap!

Winston tosses the trap at Willis. It slides under him. Willis struggles, desperate to escape.

WINSTON: Even in a parody, I need better lines. Damn agents.

Winston activates the trap.

WILLIS: Noooo! I can't be caught! I need to be in the sequel.

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: It's ok Bruce, you're a new character in the sequel.

VENKMAN: Directors. Hit him!

Winston and Peter both open up on M. Night Shyamalan, and move him to the trap. They are both sucked in, and the trap lays still, smoking.

Ray goes over and picks up the trap. Venkman looks at Egon and Winston.

VENKMAN: Ok, you guys take the trap back to the containment unit, and I'll get the fee from the wife.

RAY: Why don't we just bill her?

EGON: Then he can't stay and console her.

VENKMAN: Would I do something like that? I'm shocked you guys would think I'd take advantage of a soft, vulnerable woman like that in her time of need.

WINSTON: In a minute, Venkman. Get in the car.

EXT: STREET

The Ghostbusters pile into their converted ambulance and drive off, lights flashing.

VENKMAN (Voice over): C'mon guys, just 5 minutes with her?

EGON, RAY & WINSTON: Shut up, Peter.

Roll credits (sneezythesquid@email.com)

 

 

 


 

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