Getting Even Motion Pictures Hugh Troy was a famed artist who was also a hardcore practical joker. Once, the manager of a motion-picture theater offended Troy. Troy went into the same theater the next evening, after secreting several jars of huge moths on his person. Soon after the feature began, he released the creatures, all of which flew directly into the beam of the projector and stayed and stayed and stayed.... Have you ever sat down in a darkened theater, later finding your posterior has been parked on someone else's sticky candy bar or chewing gum from the last show? Did you ever go to a movie house, feel you were ripped off by the poor feature, get up and leave well before the film is finished, and still be unable to get even a partial refund? Peanuts Campbell used the restroom of a local movie house, and when he flushed the facility it backfired on him, staining his new pants and causing other patrons to both turn up their noses and turn away their eyes in annoyance. Another patron was served buttered popcorn in a tub that leaked the gooey liquid all over his date's dress. Management refused to pay any claims. The patron of a stage theater had his pants torn on a protruding seat spring. No damages were paid, and his attorney said the amount was too small to take to court. What next? Peanuts Campbell has an answer. You must have a quick, clear exit after this action. Peanuts Campbell used to take a container of lukewarm vegetable soup into a movie theater. He sat in the front row of the balcony. He made the sounds of being sick to his stomach-- choking, coughing, retching-- then dumped the soup on the people below. The same tactic also works at sporting events, public meetings-- anywhere there is a crowd below you. But you must have a good escape plan. The point of all this is to have dozens of irate patrons demanding damage settlements from the management of the establishment. If you don't feel adventuresome enough to dump on your fellow customers, simply go into the theater early and, while no one else is around, place gooey chewing gum on random seats. Or pour your soup on some random seats. Pick seats away from an aisle or ceiling safety lights. You may also use a slow-drying glue on the seats. PREVIOUS PAGE  - NEXT PAGE Web site © 2001 BiblioBytes, except where otherwise noted. Literary works presented with permission of copyright owner. All rights reserved.

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