Disclaimer: MCA owns the rights to the following characters in this story, my use of them is purely selfish. This is a story of deep seeded love between two women, one very afraid to scare the other away. It does not contain any graphic sex. If this sort of thing bothers you, I suggest you find another place to play.

Never Speaking

by Tiggster

3/15/99

Looking across the dying embers of the campfire, I can make out her small form bundled under her sleeping furs. Her breathing steady and soft in slumber. Extending my senses to check for danger around us, I can hear the scurrying of small creatures and the lapping to the waves on the shore. I had wanted to escape to the coast and the continuous onslaught of villagers needing protection or help. It had taken us a fortnight to make it to this cliff overlooking the deep blue ocean as it meets the black sands of the continent.

She stirs slightly in her sleep and rolls over. The embers cause her face to have the unearthly glow of a goddess. My heart pounds with emotion. I have never voiced my love for her for fear scaring her away. The emptiness that would follow would surely destroy me, I could only hope someone would take pity on this warrior and drive the sword quickly through my heart.

Many times I have mulled over my feelings for her, the only thing I know is that I love her. She is everything I want and will never be. She is intelligent, caring, passion, and determination all rolled into one gorgeous little package that causes my breath to catch and my heart to flutter.

I watch as her eyes slowly open, she looks at me across the fire, the oranges and reds causing her eyes to appear gold in the darkness.

She smiles softly at me and asks, "Xena, are you alright?"

"Yes."

She stands slowly pulling her blanket tightly around her and slips around the fire, pausing before me she whispers, "I'm cold."

I lift the edge of my own blanket as she throws her blanket over mine and curls up in front of me. She presses her back against me as she gets comfortable, her sweet smelling hair under my nose, the thin shifts little protection against the heat as our warm bodies touch. I softly sigh and inhale her sweet smell.

She moans, "I like this."

"Hmmmm." My response, though my thoughts are on how much I cherish the occasional closeness she grants me.

Her breathing quickly steadies again as she enters the land of Morpheus.

I whisper my thoughts against her soft golden hair, "oh my bard, do you even know the effects you have on me? Your closeness driving me to the edge of insanity."

She moans a response and presses her body tighter against mine.

Gently rubbing her hip, she slips deeper into her dream. My thoughts continue of my fears should she ever find out how much I desire her, want to make love to her, just be hers. She owns me heart and soul and does not even know it. She sighs again. Leaning down to her ear, "do you know how much I love you my little bard? Do you know that you consume my waking thoughts and my dreams?"

Inhaling her scent, I nuzzle behind her ear, enjoying the closeness. Sighing again she rolls over and drapes a leg over my hip, her lips near my collarbone. Kissing her forehead softly, "why cant I tell you how I feel when you are awake? When I can look into your soft green eyes and see my love returned."

A single tear rolls down my cheek. The pain of all the things I can never have yet hold within my arms.

"Xena?" her whisper pulls me from my musings.

Pulling back, I look into the soft green eyes before me, my heart melting again. Her hand gently caresses the tear from my cheek. "Tell me again how much I mean to you."

My heart threatens to pound out of my chest, to know she was not sleeping causes a blush to rise in my cheeks as I close my eyes, the fear and humiliation washing over me.

"Xena, look at me!" Her voice strong but gentle. "Do not run from me, face me with how you feel. Tell me how you feel. Take my love, you stupid warrior, because I DO love you."

Opening my eyes I see everything I have ever wanted within the depths of her eyes. Love. Desire. Fear. Passion.

Leaning forward I kiss her soft lips, drawing a moan from her body as we press against each other, joining our separated souls. The thoughts I was never able to speak lost as I convey my love in this one lasting kiss.

Only the beginning of undying love….