THE SNIPSONS
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(AT A GLANCE)
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RED - Footage censored for the initial broadcast which has never been seen.
GREEN - Footage aired intact initially but cut in rotation, that has not since reappeared.
PURPLE - Footage cut either for the initial broadcast or in rotation that is currently airing intact.
BROWN - Missing footage that is incidental, due to the episode being edited differently at source. i.e. where long and short versions have been produced, and the short version has been shown in the UK, this indicates material that appeared only in the other version.


Prod. No.Episode NameTranscript / scene summary of cut footage
SEASON ONE
7G06Moanin' Lisa

1 and 2) The first scene in which Bart and Homer are playing 'Super Slugfest' on the games console:
(Brief shot of Bart with his joystick. On screen, Bart's boxer punches Homer's boxer round the ring and blood spurts out of the mouth of Homer's character. Brief shot of Homer waggling his joystick. Bart's boxer punches Homer's boxer with lefts and rights repeatedly, drawing more blood. Shot of the Simpson's front room with Marge and Lisa standing in the doorway.)

MARGE - "Homer?"

HOMER - "Not... now... Marge!"

(Another brief shot of Bart's boxer pummelling Homer's boxer from side to side with more blood. Cut to Marge again.)

3) A few moments later:
(Bart's character sends Homer's character reeling with a left hook, dances around and then lands an uppercut that takes Homer's characters head right off, with a trail of blood. The bloody head and severed spine land on the other side of the ring and the referee counts and awards Bart's character the knockout.)

4, 5, 6 and 7) The second 'Super Slugfest' scene:
(Bart's boxer gets Homer's with an uppercut and then a right hook. Blood comes out of Homer's boxers mouth. Shot of Bart pressing his fire button over and over again. Shot of another uppercut and another right hook, with the blood spurting again. Shot of Bart yawning and pressing his fire button. Shot of Homer's character standing in a pool of blood. Bart's boxer punches him up into the air and as the beaten fighter lands on the canvas it becomes grass and a coffin appears around him. It sinks into the grass and turns into a grave. Bart's boxer performs a victory dance on the grave. End of the game.)

8 and 9) The final 'Super Slugfest' scene - Homer's revenge:
(Homer's boxer punches Bart's boxer all around the ring and then does it again, causing Bart's boxer to bleed profusely. Shot of the Simpsons' front room.)

MARGE - "I'd like your attention, please."

HOMER - "Quiet, Marge. This is my big moment. Bart 'the bloody pulp' Simpson is on the ropes!"


(Shot of Homer's boxer punching Bart's fighter repeatedly. Blood everywhere.)

HOMER - "He's hoping I'll put him out of his misery"


(Homer's boxer gets ready to finish Bart's boxer off.)

AUDIO MADNESS: The game soundtracks for these scenes have been rather badly overdubbed, and for a few seconds there are actually two pieces of background music playing at once. Listen out for it at the points where the action cuts from the game to real-life.
NOTES:

A rare example of the BBC censoring violence/blood and SKY leaving it in, but it's possible SKY didn't have anyone censoring the Simpsons at the time when they first broadcast this very early episode. This veritable tapestry of little cuts makes continuity dodgy in places, although it is impossible to tell that a massive 9 seperate portions have been removed!. UNCUT BY SKY.

SEASON TWO
7F04Treehouse Of Horror

1) In 'Bad Dream House' when the house speaks to Lisa:
(Lisa is spoken to by the house)

HOUSE - "Lisa... Leee-saa. The butcher knife, Lisa. "

(Lisa removes a knife from the drawer, runs her finger along the blade and grins evilly.
Cut to Homer with an axe.)

2) A few moments later:
(Homer notices Maggie crawling along with the knife in her mouth and follows her into the drawing room.)

HOUSE - "Die. Die. Everybody die."

(Homer, Bart, Lisa and Maggie all walk round in a circle, raising weapons to each other and laughing fiendishly. As the laughter gets louder, there are individual shots of all the family members with their weapons.
A shot of Marge with her big knife to the sound of the laughter. Pull back to reaveal that she is alone in the kitchen preparing a sandwich.)

NOTES:

This is the earliest known episode to have been censored by SKY, and set the tone for future knife scenes getting cut (great pun, huh?). The laughter thing, and the realisation that Marge isn't part of it at all doesn't quite work in the cut version, and only when the BBC showed the episode uncut could viewers fully appreciate the gag. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
7F06Bart the Daredevil LIKE A VERSION: This episode was produced in 'long' and 'short' versions - the short one included the 'Deep Deep Trouble' music promo at the end. The BBC show the long version, while SKY show the short version with 'Do the Bartman' at the end.



(The 'Do the Bartman' promo is not included)



(These cuts are incidental to the 'short version' that SKY shows)

1) The Blackboard Gag is cut, in a shortened title sequence that cuts straight from 'The Simpsons...' into the driveway:
Blackboard Gag: 'I will not drive the principal's car'
2) Homer prepares to deliver his announcement that they will be going to the Monster Truck Rally:
(OFF sitting at the dinner table. Homer bangs a glass to get the other's attention. SLH and Snowball II's ears prick up, while everyone else grits their teeth.)

HOMER - "I have an announcement..."

3) When the Simpsons are rescued from their crushed vehicle:
(The insurance adjuster writes Marge a cheque, which she squirrels away in her hair.)

ENGINEER - "Uh, Mrs Simpson? Uh, I'm Leo G. Clarke - inventor, owner and operator of Truckasaurus. Let me just say that, well, Truckasaurus feels very badly about what happened and everyone here at Team Truckasaurus would like you to enjoy this half bottle of domestic Champagne for being such good sports. (gives her the Champagne - 'Truckasaurus Private Reserve' ) "

MARGE - "Well thank you so much. Gee, everyone's so nice here at the monster truck rally. Look Homer, Champagne!"

(The rescue team pull Homer from the car and all three men fall to the ground.)


4) A few moments later:
(At the Truck Rally, the family, apart from Homer, are already in their seats.)

ANNOUNCER - "And now, Majestic Undercoating is proud to present... Ms Monster"

MARGE - "Wow, a woman mud pull driver."

LISA - "Another barrier broken. Right on, sister!"

(Homer arrives with snacks.)

5) Bart and Lisa on the school bus, after Bart announces his latest daredevil stunt:
LISA - "Springfield Gorge! Bart, you'll be killed."

BART - "Lisa, I don't know how to explain this. But I get the same thrill out of jumping over stuff that you do from... reading."


LISA - "Please, before you do anything, there's someone I'd like you to talk to..."
NOTES:

No deliberate censorship by either SKY or the BBC on this episode as far as we know, but these 'alternate releases' make things very complicated, though thankfully not as complicated as 8F07. The short version WITH the 'Do the Bartman' promo that it is difficult to view anywhere else these days, is probably better value in my opinion.
7F14Bart's Dog gets an 'F' LIKE A VERSION: This episode was produced in 'long' and 'short' versions - the short one originally intended to accomodate the 'Deep Deep Trouble' music promo at the end. The BBC show the long version, while SKY show the short version.



1) The canine graduation at the end:
WINTHROP - "You son of a bitch. Good Show!"





(These cuts are incidental to the 'short version' that SKY shows)

1) Opening sequence has been cut. In the long version it is a full length sequence, SKY's version cuts from the intro to the garage and couch gag.


Blackboard - I will not sell school property.

Lisa's Solo - Traditional.


2) Lisa in Dr. Hibbert's surgery:
HIBBERT - "Oh, such responsibility for such a little girl. What's your favourite subject?"

LISA - "Arithmatic"

HIBBERT - "Arithmatic, now before you know it, you will be back among your polygons, your hypoteneuse and your Euclidian algorithims,
now you get rest and have yourself a worripop."


3) Marge showing Lisa the family quilt:
LISA - "Wow, neat. (breathes in) Smells historic."

(Marge removes the quilt from the box.)

4) At the Winthrop Dog School:
(Emily Winthrop pulls SLH's chain fiercely. He falls to the ground.)

MARTIN - "How can we tell if we are doing this manaeuver effectively?"

WINTHROP - "The dog's eyes will cross and his tongue will protude and change colour ever so slightly."


BART - "Is my dog dead, Ma'am?"

5) A later scene at the dog school:
(Bart observes one of the dogs giving a piggy-back ride to another dog.)

WINTHROP - "There are two ways for a dog to relieve himself. One is like a faithful friend and partner for life, the other is like a hose without a fireman. Which way do you think that was, Mr. Simpson?"

(shot of Bart scrubbing the floor with all the other dogs and owners looking on.)

BART - "Like a hose, your wrinkled Highness."


6) The canine graduation at the end:
WINTHROP - "You son of a bitch. Good Show!"

(panning shot of the newly graduated dogs and their owners, then the spectators and supporters. At the end of the line is Homer, frowning and clapping slowly, but he eventually smiles and starts cheering with everyone else. The dogs throw their leashes up into the air.)

NOTES:

The BBC version of this episode is by far the more complete - a single word overdubbed with a word silence and no footage lost is obviously preferable to the short version. Quite why SKY used that version is unclear, as they didn't use the time to fit in the music promo as they did with 7F06.
7F16Oh Brother, Where art thou?

1) A very small amount of footage cut in the McBain movie clip at the beginning of the episode:
(McBain pulls his machine gun on the people sitting around the table turning around, he guns them all down in a circular motion. Close up of McBain blasting away.)

2) Complete scene cut. Between the final scene at the hospital, and Homers' visit to the orphanage:
(OFF are travelling home in the car)

LISA - "A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian!"

BART - "So, any idea where this bastard lives?"

HOMER - "Bart!"

BART - "His parents aren't married are they? It's the correct word, isn't it?".

HOMER - "I guess he's got us there."

MARGE - "hmm...".

BART -
(sings)"Bastard, bastard. Bastard, bastard. Bastard, bastard, bastard, ba-stard-ba-stard!"

(as he sings, Homer and Marge get angry and shout "Bart!" repeatedly.)

3) When OFF arrive and see the opulence of the surroundings, three words are cut:
HOMER - "Holy Moly! The bastards rich!"

NOTES:

It is unbelievable that the BBC cut this scene, which itself makes a mockery of censorship and the very concept of 'offensive' language being dependent on context. UNCUT BY SKY.
7F23When Flanders Failed

1) When Homer chokes on the burger:
(Homer laughs maniacally as he chews the mouthful of burger, then he starts choking. Ned starts hitting him on the back but he turns several different colors. The screen then fades to black to the sound of Homer choking. Finally he stops and breathes a sigh of relief.)

NOTES:

4 seconds of footage cut to save time. It is not known whether this footage was a BBC cut, or if it was a brown cut i.e. already missing from the version they obtained from the US. Some of these early episodes had their master versions were re-edited by FOX at source, and this could well be one of them. Some confirmation would be appreciated. UNCUT BY SKY.

7F24Stark Raving Dad LIKE A VERSION: Before the airing in the US on 30th January 1992, a new scene was added to the beginning of the episode. This version has survived in various showings in the US and overseas, but has never been seen in the UK.



1) At the very beginning of the episode:
(Fade in from black. Scene of The Simpsons living room with all the family together (recycled from an earlier episode). Zoom in on the TV set to a live-action inset of President Bush giving a recent speech - `We need a nation closer to the Waltons than to the Simpsons.')

HOMER - "Huh?"

BART - "Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too."


(fade to black.
Opening credits.)
NOTES:

This is another one of those re-edited 'curios' of the early seasons of the show.
SEASON THREE
8F02Treehouse Of Horror II

1) The very last scene of the episode, tagged on after the viewer believes the end credits have begun:
(Executive Producer credit appears)

ANNOUNCER - "Next week on 'The Simpsons'..."

(scene of OFF at the breakfast table, including Homer with the head of Mr. Burns attached to his shoulder.)

LISA - "Don't forget Dad, tonight my class is having an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner."

HOMER - "Mmmm... Spaghetti..."

BURNS' HEAD - "But Homer, tonight's our reception for Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands!"

HOMER - "Oh, I hate having two heads."

(end credits resume)
NOTES:

The final scene looks like it was removed for time purposes, as this is a fairly long episode. Believed to be the only example of an 'Mmm...' line being cut. There was a gap of over five years between SKY premiering this episode, and the BBC finally showing the uncut version. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
8F07Saturday's Of Thunder LIKE A VERSION: This episode was produced in 'long' and 'short' versions - WE THINK that SKY show the short version uncut and the BBC show the long version, but with a few scenes cut. This means that both versions contain scenes that the other does not.



(These cuts are incidental to the 'short version' that SKY shows)

1) The blackboard gag has been removed, in a shortened opening sequence:
Blackboard Gag: 'I will not fake rabies'
2) SCENE SHIFTING: In the short version, the 'VHS Village' scene, and the beauty parlour scene have been swapped over, so that in this instance, the beauty parlour comes first. This means that the a couple of seconds of intro leading up to the 'VHS Village' scene are missing:
(Homer and Lisa get out of the car and walk to the 'VHS Village - formerly the Beta Bank')
3) At the VHS Village, once Homer chooses his video:
HOMER - "Ho ho! Football's Greatest Injuries. Lisa, we're going!"

LISA - "But Dad, I can't find 'Happy Little Elves in Tinkly-Winkly Town'!"

HOMER - "Just grab something. _All_ these movies are great!"


4) OVERDUBBING CONFUSION: The scene with Homer watching 'Football's Greatest Injuries' before Marge and co. come in, is shortened to a single shot, and overdubbed with '...The Compound Fracture. Truly one of Football's Greatest Injuries...' Here's what it originally entailled:
COMMENTATOR - "They called him the Galloping Gazelle... (football player prances ballet-like across the field) His habitat: the frozen tundra of Soldier Field... (The player does a double somersault into the end zone) For six seasons and two Pro Bowls, he grazed on the tasty green turf of the end zone, until one fateful Sunday in November, when the Gazelle was stopped in his tracks... (hand reaches out and grabs the GG's face mask, snapping his neck) by a big cat named Wayne Scheshevski."
5) AUDIO MADNESS: The scene where Marge asks Homer about Bart's hobbies and Homer says that 'Kids don't have hobbies', has been shortened just fractionally, and for some reason overdubbed by an almost identical line. Here's what it was originally:
HOMER - "Then he has _no_ hobby. (walks away)"
6) At the soapbox race:
BART - "...Gravity is my co-pilot."

(Cut to Nelson. His minions approach him.)

BULLY - "Hey boss... (hands Nelson a knife) Just in case you need it."

NELSON - "Aw... thanks guys.
(bangs their heads together) Now get outta here!"




(These cuts were made by the BBC to the 'long version')

1) During the McBain movie that Homer watches in the VHS village:
(The Motorcyclist shoots at McBain and Skowie. Shot through a keyhole of gunfire. Skowie takes a hit on the chest. shot of the gun-toting biker getting away. McBain shoots at him.)
2) A few seconds later:
(After his brief final conversation with McBain, Skowie gets the picture for his wife, then gasps his last gasp. As Skowie slumps down, dead, McBain crys out, puts his hand on the bleeding chest-wound and raises his head to the skies.)

MCBAIN - "Men-do-zaaaarrghh!!!!"

(End of movie clip.)

3) At the race:
BART - "...Gravity is my co-pilot."

(Cut to Nelson. His minions approach him.)

BULLY - "Hey boss... (hands Nelson a knife) Just in case you need it."

NELSON - "Aw... thanks guys.
(bangs their heads together) Now get outta here!"

NOTES:

This is an extremely complicated episode, and there may be a) more differences between the long and short versions and b) more stuff cut from the long version by the BBC. The issue is confused most of all by the scene-swapping, which to my knowledge has never happened before or since, and by the fact that one of the scenes deliberately cut by the BBC from their copy, is one of the ones removed by FOX for the short version that SKY used. Hey, maybe SKY have even cut some stuff from the short version - although given the already brief running time, this is probably unlikely. We desperately need more information on this episode - preferably from the production staff involved.
8F16Bart the Lover

1) A wierd super-imposition of sound, with Homer in Church:
BART - "Homer, that was a Twenty"

HOMER - "Da-"


AUDIO STRANGENESS: Homer nearly saying 'Damn' in Church has had another little 'almost-expletive' dubbed over it, which sounds like 'Ekh'. Very strange indeed.
2) Moments later, clip of Homer speaking to Flanders about his commercial work:
HOMER - "You dirty bast- "

(shot of more money being put in the swear-jar.)
NOTES:

Hmm... Odd. The BBC have cut/modified two little snatches of footage in which the swearing itself has deliberately been avoided by using a clever cut-off device, but in every instance it's obvious what the word should be. Obviously they think that the implication of someone saying 'Damn' in church is slightly blasphemous, and that's why that one was bizarrely overdubbed. What is more confusing is how the 'bast-' was left intact in the SKY version, but not the BBC one, yet on most occasions, it is SKY who censor the word 'bastard', and the beeb are more likely to leave it in. UNCUT BY SKY.
8F23Brother, can you spare two dimes?

1) During Homers' TV Flashback sequence:
(Homer sitting on the couch watching TV)

VOICE ON TV - "That's right. I shot J.R."

HOMER - "Uh?
(gasps)".


(Shot of Homer sitting on couch with OFF and the Flandereses participating in 'Hands Across America' in front of him.)

VOICE ON TV - "Except for great gaps in the Western states, 'Hands Across America' has been a massive success."
2) Deciding how to spend the $2000:
HOMER - "Wait, Marge! Didn't you want to spend that money on a vibrating chair?"

MARGE - "That was your idea!"

BART - "I think we should get a machine-gun. We could use it to hunt game, spell out things, or ring in the new year."

MARGE - "Well, I really think we need to replace the washer and drier."
3) When Herb is giving OFF presents, after he gives Lisa her book:
(Having given Lisa her book, Herb turns to Bart.)

HERB - "Now Bart, I know you're too young for that machine gun you wanted but I'm gonna' give you something that'll make sure when you're old enough you can still buy one - A Membership in the National rifle Association."

BART - "Wow, the NRA... Can I get armor-piercing cyanide-tipped bullets too?"

HERB - "It's in the constitution, son."
NOTES:

These were cut from the BBC's first airings of the episode, but have been re-instated. Why they cut the 'I shot JR' line is anyone's guess, but it also lost the beginning of the next line - probably why they put it back in. Presumably the gun references were cut admidst irrational fears of juvenille violence. However, it does mean that when Herb 'gives everyone a little something' he completely ignores Bart. I guess they realised that the censorship made the episode make less sense. UNCUT BY SKY.
8F24Kamp Krusty

1) The beginning of the closing credits, a series of 'photo's' while the music 'South of the border' plays:
(1st photo: Krusty buys everyone a sombrero that's way too large. 2nd photo: The kids (sans Lisa) watch a cock fight. 3rd photo: Bart and Lisa find Krusty on the ground after he's drunk a bottle of Tequila."
NOTES:

The first photo is held on for twice as long to avoid cutting the soundtrack. How the rest of the episode survived, and this was cut is a mystery. UNCUT BY SKY.
SEASON FOUR
9F03Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie

1) In the first scene when Krabappel is talking to Marge about Bart:
(Krabappel pulls a Krusty-the-Klown doll out of her desk draw and shows it to Marge. She pulls the head off to reveal a machete-blade.)

MARGE - "Hmmm..."


KRABAPPEL - "Bart has been guilty of the following attrocities..."
2) A single word cut during Homer's talk with Bart:
HOMER - "Someday you'll thank me for this, son"

BART - "not bloody likely!"




1) In the trailer for the I & S Movie:
(Scratchy waits on the conveyor belt for the rotating blade. Itchy get's impatient, grabs an axe and chops him into little pieces with it.)
2) A complete (but very brief) scene cut. After Homer watches the Bumblebee man on TV, before he catches Bart smashing the mustard packets:
(A billboard advertising the Movie spurts blood over a newlywed couple driving past in a convertible. They laugh and take it in good humour.)
3) In the 'Steamboat Itchy' short:
(Itchy kneecaps Scratchy with the machine gun, then politely opens the furnace grate, and Scratchy, trailing blood, crawls into it. He then kicks Scratchy in the rear, slams the grate shut behind him and laughs as the cat's body writhes in agony. Itchy then opens the grate and pulls out Scratchy's head, which has burnt to a crisp.)

ITCHY - "Oh me, Oh my!"
4) In the 'World War II' short:
(Itchy and Scratchy start bashing Hitler with their implements. Itchy decapitates Hitler with an axe, then shakes hands with Scratchy. Itchy then turns traitor and decapitates Scratchy too. The music changes from 'Stars & Stripes together' to 'Happy days are here again' and a cartoon Roosevelt dances on and kicks the carcasses of Hitler and Scratchy. Itchy then holds up a 'Save scrap Iron' sign.)
5) Another little scene cut - after the shots of the cinema showing the I & S movie coming to the end of it's run, before the 'I guess you won' scene with Bart and Homer:
(Another shot of the blood-spurting I&S; billboard, which now advertises 'Springfield Barber College'.)
NOTES:

This is a complicated episode in which the BBC and SKY cut completely different things (and unusually, SKY cut a lot more in this case.) The single word cut 'bloody' is done incredibly crudely indeed and the frames of animation are all over the place, while SKY, who say they never cut things that are really relevent to the episode, surely cannot deny the relevance of the Itchy & Scratchy related footage they axed. Virtually all of the 'I & S through the ages' idea is lost and the SKY version of the episode is very short, not to mention rather thin on Itchy & Scratchy content.
9F07Mr Plow

1) The very first scene, 'Carnival Of The Stars' beginning on the TV:
TV VOICE - "Live, from Hawaii's beautiful Malaki Island, we're not just for Lepers any more. it's `Carnival of the Stars' !"

NOTES:

Presumably cut so as not to offend the BBC's massive audience of Leprosy-sufferers. Pretty poor show, cutting the opening gag of an episode though. They left in Homer's 'pornography' lines though. UNCUT BY SKY.
9F08Lisa's First Word

1) The Blackboard gag is replaced, in a modified title sequence:
Blackboard Gag: 'Teacher is not a leper' REPLACED WITH: 'I will not teach others to fly' (recycled from ????).
NOTES:

Ooh, Leprosy censorship in two consecutive episodes! Strangely enough, the offending blackboard is actually listed in the complete list of blackboard gags at the BBC's own Simpsons website!!! UNCUT BY SKY.

9F14Duffless

1) A complete scene cut, after homer jumps out of the SNPP window:
(Outside the plant Barney is waiting for Homer in his car. There is a mattress tied to the roof, presumably to cushion Homer's fall.)

BARNEY - "Hey! That looks like Princess Di. (He drives forward a few feet. Homer slams into the ground just behind the car.) Aw, wait, it's just a pile of rags."

2) In the next scene where Bart holds Lisa's tomato, a second or so of footage is cut:
SKINNER - "(ties shoe) Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying's all about."

(Bart watches Skinners buttocks shift from side to side, resisting temptation then eventually he throws the giant tomato at him in slow motion.)
NOTES:

Astonishingly, this Diana scene was never not among those cut by SKY for several months following Diana's death, but the BBC have seen fit to remove it. What is surprising, is that for the re-run, they re-instated the other cut, but not the Diana one. Sounds like a mix-up on the slaughterhouse floor, doesn't it? UNCUT BY SKY.
SEASON FIVE
1F01Rosebud

1) The Ramones playing at Burns's Birthday bash:
THE RAMONES - " (sung)... Happy Birthday to You!"

RAMONE 3 - "Go to hell, you old bastard."

(the curtain falls.)

RAMONE 4 - "Hey, I think they liked us!"




1) The Ramones playing at Burns's Birthday bash:
THE RAMONES - " (sung)... Happy Birthday to You!"

RAMONE 3 - "Go to hell, you old bastard."

(the curtain falls.)

RAMONE 4 - "Hey, I think they liked us!"
2) The mini vox-pops section following Burns's takeover of the TV channels:
OTTO - "That Bites"

(cut to Patty and Selma watching TV)

SELMA - "Holy Crap!"

(Cut to OFF.)
3) Burns in Maggie's sandpit, when he is photographed in an uncompromising position:
BURNS - "Damn you paparazzo!!!"
NOTES:

Some simple language censorship, especially from SKY, although 'Bastard' rarely survives the scissors. Following the death of the Princess of Wales, the 'P-word' was overdubbed with silence (but you could see his mouth moving), but it reappeared within six months.
1F04Treehouse of Horror IV

1) Homer reading the note in his 'emergency donut' box:
HOMER - "I.O.U one emergency Donut. Signed, Homer. Bastard!... He's always one step ahead."





1) Devil-Flanders introducing the Jury of the Damned:
DEVIL-FLANDERS - "... Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon-"

NIXON - "But I'm not dead yet. In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook."

DEVIL-FLANDERS - "Hey, listen. I did a favor for you!"

NIXON - "Yes master."



(The devil continues introducing the jury.)
NOTES:

The BBC cuts more of this one - surprisingly leaving in the 'Bastard', but even more surprisingly cutting an fairly innocuous exhange between Richard Nixon and Satan - presumably to avoid viewer confusion as when the BBC first aired this episode in October 1998, Nixon had, in fact, been deceased for some time.
1F05Bart's Inner Child

1) Homer getting into his car, eager to acquire the trampoline, before we see him arrive at Krusty's house:
MARGE - "(as Homer jumps into his car) Please, don't bring home any more old crutches!"

(Homer drives at breakneck speed and spies another car backing out of a driveway)

HOMER - "Oh no you don't, that trampoline is mine!"

(He swerves into the other car and turns it onto its side.)
2) Otto ushering the cars into the car park:
OTTO - "Park anywhere. I'm not gonna lay any rules on anybody today."

(The cars all crash into one another.)
3) When anarchy breaks out and the Ferris Wheel rolls away:
MAYOR QUIMBY - "... You two screwed up royal!"

WORKER - "Ya know, I really don't feel like being blamed."
NOTES:

These scenes were cut following the death of Diana, Princess of Wales (you know, car crashes, references to royalty), but were swiftly re-inserted. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F07The Last Temptation Of Homer

1) At the National Energy Convention:
MAN - "Thanks for poisoning the planet, Bastard!"

MINDY - "Get Bent!"
NOTES:

A single word cut that is very noticable as the animation and continuity is way-off. The BBC cutting is slightly smoother than the SKY one - they may have simply overdubbed the word with silence. A third way of censoring this line appears when the scene is revisited in a flashback in 2F33. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F09Homer The Vigilante

1) At the vigilante group meeting when one person after another accidentally fires their guns:
MOE - " (shoots) Me again."

BART - "
(shoots) Sorry."
NOTES:

The 'punchline' of this scene has effectively been cut - obviously the BBC don't want to present any images of children with firearms. UNCUT BY SKY.
1F16Burn's Heir

1) After Moe smashes his mirror:
MOE - "Well, that was an antique...Cra-aap!!!"
NOTES:

Single word cut that was left in for years, but has been cut in all showings for the last few years - ever since some point between late 1995 and mid 1997. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F17Lisa's Rival

1) When Lisa passes out at the audition:
(Blackout. Lisa comes round and opens her eyes.)

MR LARGO - "Oh, that was a close one Lisa, but you made it."

LISA - "
(happy) I won first chair?"

MR. LARGO - "No, you regained consciousness. Alison got first chair."

(Lisa screams. Blackout again.
Lisa comes round and opens her eyes again.)

LISA - "Oh, it was just a dream..."

MR LARGO - "Oh, that was a close one Lisa, but you made it."

LISA - "
(happy) I won first chair?"

MR. LARGO - "No, you regained consciousness. Alison got first chair, and believe me, this is not a dream!."
NOTES:

This was obviously a time-saving cut, or could even have been accidental, and it is extremely confusing. As well as losing the joke completely, SKY's version includes the now meaningless dream references.
1F19The boy who knew too much

1) In Bart's class:
MS KRABAPPEL - "...so today we all have to stay two extra hours to make up for the time we lost. Hah!"

(The children moan. Bart looks in his desk and sees his 'Li'l Bastard Clock Tampering Kit'. He moans to himself as if he regrets using it. Bart looks out of the window and sees the beautiful day outside.)
2) At the Quimby Compound, Renier Wolfcastle discussing the new McBain flick:
WOLFCASTLE - "I know. There were script problems from day one."

CHIEF WIGGUM - "Yeah, I'll say. Magic ticket, my ass, McBain."

WOLFCASTLE - "
(to woman presumably his wife/girlfriend) Maria, my mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee."
3) Barts 'flashforward' in which he has replaced lunchlady Doris:
BART - "More cream corn, Jimbo Junior?"

JIMBO JR - "This cream corn tastes like cream crap!"

BART - "Watch the potty-mouth, honey."
NOTES:

This was the first appearance of L'il Bastard products, all of which were cut by SKY until 'The Joy Of Sect' in season 9. The 'bad language' cuts are also completely inconsistent as several other episodes have 'ass' and 'crap' are allowed. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F20Secrets of a Successful Marriage

1) Homer's bizarre rant at Marge's bedside:
HOMER - "Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order..."
NOTES:

This little cut was very crudely done - the continuity in animation and soundtrack is way-off, and boy is it noticeable. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F21Lady Bouvier's Lover

1) Burns talking to Smithers about his date:
BURNS - "Smithers, guess what happened to me last night?"

SMITHERS - "I don't know, sir. You had sex with that old woman?"

BURNS - "She said no to me..."
2) Burns at the wedding:
BURNS - "We've heard enough about Bliz-Blaz and Him-Ham already. Get to the bloody point!"
NOTES:

Another 'sex' line cut, along with a 'bloody' but Abe Simpson finding the Condom in the street was mysteriously left in. UNCUT BY THE BBC.
1F22Bart of Darkness

1) Bart trying to phone for help:
VOICE ON PHONE - "... please stay on the line... (Bart growls and punches some numbers) ... You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press 'one' "
2) Shortly afterwards, pretty much an entire scene is cut:
(Bart watches through the telescope as Rod and Todd walk up to their Daddy.)

TODD - "Daddy, where's Mommy? We miss her."

NED - "Mommy... had to go away. She's with God now."

ROD & TODD - "Yay! Can we go there too?"

NED - "
(remorsefully) Soon enough."

ROD & TODD - "Yay!"

(Cut to Bart viewing the scene.)

BART - "He's going to kill Rod and Todd too... That's horrible! ...in principle."
NOTES:

'Diana' cuts - temporarily taken out for a couple of airings due to monarchic/death-sensitive sensibilities we believe. UNCUT BY THE BBC.