Rx for a Shot of Self-Confidence

Dear Sharon: I'm a 21-year-old male college student and I have a little problem. I live a nice life- no one would probably guess this would ever bother me. But I have a major lack of confidence about my looks, specifically facially. I just think I'm ugly and don't know what to do. 

I've tried facials, different hairstyles, Stridex, skin moisturizer, and face exercises??? Is this something that should bother a 21-year-old guy? I don't know what to do. --Face Off (Dekalb, IL)


Dear Face Off: Snap out of it!!! The entirety of your being-- intelligence, knowledge, awareness, sense of humor, and compassion-are far greater than the appearance of your physical shell. Feeling satisfied about how you look does give your self-confidence a boost, but it should not envelope your entire existence.

Yes, this is a style advice column, but the best advice is to be grateful for everything that is uniquely you; your appearance is just one part of that! There is nothing uglier-or more boring-- than a person who may appear beautiful on the outside yet inwardly is a bitter, empty shell. 

I believe in making the most of what you've got by not trying to be something you are not. There are features in everyone that are individually beautiful-play them up and divert attention from ones that are less pleasing to you. As the old adage goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most likely, plenty of other folks think you look just fine, why not add yourself to that list?

A young person of your age-or any age-should feel blessed for all the wonderful things that enable one to "live a nice life".

Stop obsessing, change the things you can, and start enjoying life!

Style Fix for Colorblindness

Dear Sharon: I have a question about how to start looking better. I have been told that I have lots of potential to look very good but I don't take advantage by the clothes I wear and by the way my hair looks. 

First, I am colorblind and buying clothes is tough. I'm not great at matching and I'm not sure how to take advantage of the few nice clothes I own. I want to look nice, but from the lack of knowledge in men's fashion, I see myself wearing old jeans or warm-ups too much. 

My hair is very straight and loves to stick up even though I'd love it to be down. This makes me use a great deal of gel and hairspray to keep it from sticking straight up. What do you think I should do? Any advice would help. --Within the Realm of Possibility (Wyckoff, NJ)


Dear Within the Realm: Bravo, you took the first step in developing a new and improved you: Acknowledging the desire to change. Now, just act on it. 

Start by flipping through some magazines for inspiration and then go shopping. Enlist a friend with good taste or find a salesperson or personal shopper (many big department stores have one on site) that can guide you into buying a few essential pieces that work together with what you already own. Don't overwhelm yourself by buying too much at once-- just a solid core wardrobe.

Keep to a simple color palette and then write the garment's color on the inside label so you can "read" the color instead of second-guessing your color-blindness. 

The idea of shellacked hair and a warm-up suit is pretty scary… 86 the hairspray! Give in to a hairstyle that you can easily-- and attractively-- master and fight the urge to look like an Alfalfa clone.

Brunch With the Boss

Dear Sharon: What should a 62-year-old man who is a real estate developer wear to a Sunday brunch at his boss's house? - Who, What, and Wear (Dallas, TX)

Dear Who, What, and Wear: Wear whatever one would wear on Casual Friday… hopefully, it is not a Budweiser T-shirt. No need to look more polished than usual, the boss already knows if someone is a slob or not.

It's Not For Everyone

Dear Sharon: I'm a very slender man who has been looking non-stop with no success in finding "tight lace up pants " and/or pants with "buttons up the side". Any type of material is fine as long as the details run from the ankle to the hip. I'm looking for them in the waist size of 33-34. You probably would remember these pants on rock stars in the Eighties? Where can I purchase clothing like this? Thanks for your time. --Rock Studson (Indian Rocks Beach, FL)

Dear Rock Studson: I try to make it a policy to never undermine people's tastes and preferences. However, I have one question for you: Whaddayou a stripper??? 

Rock, baby, please, unless you are Steven Tyler or want to wear these flyaway fly wrappers as your onstage rocker costume, you have no business running around in public in pants so dumb! If you were either a male exotic dancer or a fledgling musician you would have an inkling as to where to go to get a costume made, and since you don't have a clue, that's a good thing!

Also read: From Dud to Stud, Makeover for Men