Hello! I'm Jake Morgendorffer. When I'm not busy consulting with leading multinational corporations and local business visionaries, I like to relax at home with my wife, Helen, and two teenage daughters, Daria and Quinn. There's nothing like a quiet evening spent watching TV or reading the paper while they do whatever it is they do. Besides parenting (on those rare occasions when my wife lets me, ha ha, kidding, dear), I also like to cook, do the Jumble, and wonder if life is going by faster than it used to.

Click here for my pasta cooking tips: the result of years of experimentation. (Not that I have time to putter around the kitchen these days, being so in demand for my consulting services! Hey, is that the phone again? Gotta run!)

Did you attend Buxton Ridge Military Academy between 1950 and 1970? I am trying to locate alumni. This is not for a reunion; I just want to find out if it screwed you up as much as it did me. We can swap memories of heartless parents who shipped off their own flesh and blood to be "cared" for by cruel strangers holding guns.

Call me at my office number: 555-6676. I'll probably just be sitting around tossing balls of paper into the wastepaper bas- I mean, I'll squeeze you in somehow!