Actually, that probably doesn't hold true of girls' toys. After all, can you name one toy marketed at girls that has a violent undertone to it? (And no, the N'Sync action figures that cause you to want to rip their heads off and melt their plasticene bodies into primordial plastic toy goo doesn't count!)

Yeah, I thought so. I can't name one either. But I'm no expert in girl toys, so we'll just move back to my original point -- when it comes to toys for boys, smashing things is cool. And that brings us to today's entrée on the Yestertoys menu, Crossbows & Catapults.

Released in the early 1980s (information on this Yesteroy is a bit scarcer then hen's teeth and blue Snaggletooths), this game was fairly simple. And it actually was a game, although looking at the pieces -- a bunch of castle bricks, little sword-wielding army men, and some seriously cool catapults -- you could be forgiven for thinking was just a particularly cool medieval toy soldier playset. But there were rules. Each player could build a brick wall around their tower, trying to protect their flag. Players took turns flinging hokey plastic hockey pucks at each other's castle, hoping to batter through their stacked wall of bricks and level the vile enemy's tower and tear down his filthy, pretentious flag.

There were basically two approaches to the game (that I can recall, at any rate). One was the brute force approach, in which you flung hockey puck after hockey puck directly straight ahead at your enemy's wall in the hope of eventually shaking it down. For this method, the crossbow was preferred. The other method was to go for the chip shot, hoping a well-placed strike would angle perfectly over the loathsome enemy's wall and take out his tower without any fuss or muss. For this technique, obviously the catapult and its indirect, mortar-style lobbing was preferred. And in practice, you would use both techniques -- batter his wall to shake the top bricks loose, which then gave you a much better shot with the catapult.

The boldly colored box for C&C; lured you into a realm of myth and sweaty Vikings.

There were other nuances that I recall too, such as landing one of your pucks on the other player's "treasury" (indicated by a piece of gold on one of the floor mats) entitled you to some of his resources … a couple pucks I believe. And the men and flags had various uses, though the exact details escape me.

However in all honesty, what made C&C; cool in the long run was not the game itself, but the actual crossbows and catapults which fired the little pieces. With a taut enough, strong enough rubber band (provided by you), you could actually get the catapult to fling its pucks all the way across a room, and then some. Likewise, across a smooth floor (like a kitchen), if you held them steady enough, and your rubber band was strong enough, and you pulled it back far enough and released it cleanly, the flat-lying "crossbows" could send a puck cleanly across the room.

Your basic piece set.

One pedantic note: the "crossbows" used in this game were actually ballista…in medieval warfare, ballista were huge, over-sized crossbow-like weapons that flung massive quarrels at the enemy (although the exact terminology varied considerably). A crossbow in contrast was almost always a one-man weapon. No doubt what happened was whoever thought up the name realized a little alliteration (C&C;) sounded better than "Ballistae and Catapults." No matter. It also helped that C&C; came out during the Dungeons & Dragons craze too…and as it turns out, C&C; managed to get itself blacklisted by some religious nutter groups for its violent or Satanic content. Well, whatever.

At any rate, while the actual little C&C; mini-game was fun for a while, it wasn't long before the catapults and the ballista were drafted into my army of fantasy warriors and proved their worth in many an afternoon siege. With a little ingenuity and Scotch tape, one could make a little basket on the end of the catapult and fling marbles, rocks, and other extra missiles at your enemies, and by elevating the crossbows upward at an angle, or aiming them from your towers down onto the attackers, they too could prove useful in a mighty siege. I swear I once knocked a Bespin guard's head off with a well-fired shot, although it must've been loose and nearly broken already if I did.

This stoutly built castle proclaims in a loud voice, "I am the lord of the living room floor!"

Ah, those were the days. Entire kingdoms would rise or fall depending on who was fortunate to control the almighty catapults acquired from that C&C; game! King Kenobi owed his long and tyrannical reign, no doubt, to his wisdom in keeping those valuable pieces of equipment secure in the dungeon of his Castle Greyskull.

If you're feeling nostalgic for a bit of C&C;, I have seen several kits of varying completeness for sale periodically on eBay. But you might have to outbid me first! I am assembling a mighty army of catapults, and King Kenobi shall rule again!

NEXT WEEK!

It's a surprise!

-- Kip Merriweather remembers.

More Yestertoys

• Go, Go Stratego!
  
• Lego Nation
  
• Felgercarb! It's Battlestar Galactica
  
• The Littlest People of All
  
• Weebles Wobble
  
• Presidential Timber
  
• Green Plastic Army Men
  
• Kenner's Star Wars
  

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