slashsmut serial drift beecher keller

Mirrors to Your Soul - Part 9

by Drift


Two weeks passed by before he knew it. Chris was the happiest man alive. He hadn't tried to get near Toby's backside. He didn't want to push him. It would happen, if he wanted it to happen. Toby's love was all he needed and if he didn't want to do that, then so be it. Once he was healed, he would probably ask Toby to make love to him. That would interesting. Hell, it might even change his mind. He had already stopped calling him baby and sweetheart all together, even at home. He had surely noticed, but hadn't said anything yet. Chris smiled despite himself. He knew he shouldn't be playing games with him like that, but he had to. Toby was no where nearly as mature as he needed to be in a relationship like this. Besides, he had asked him to keep it under wraps, and that was all he was doing.

"Chris?"

"Huh?"

"It's green, Baby."

//Baby? He's calling me baby now? Musta been a subtle dig about me not doin' it anymore. I'll let it pass, this time. Next time, I'm gonna say somethin'.//

Chris maneuvered the car into the lot and parked in front of the door. //Man, I miss my bike.// He had come out to find a flat three nights ago and didn't have enough money to fix it yet. So, until then, he would drive Toby's car in and he would drive home. They each had a set of keys to the car and the bike, just to make things easier. Chris was only sorry that he missed Toby on that bike for the first time, that would have truly been memorable. //Maybe I should let Toby pay to fix it. I can always pay him back. He *has* offered to more than once. But, no. I'm s'posed to be providing for us.//

Chris got out of the car and started walking toward the door. He could hear the gasp that came from Toby in the car. //Tee hee. I know I'm bein' a real shit, I just can't help myself. He makes it too easy.//

"Chris!"

"Huh?"

"Come here!" Toby got out of the car and met him half way.

"Yeah?"

"No kiss?"

"In public?" His voice incredulous.

Toby glanced around. "No one's looking."

Chris almost bit his tongue in half to keep from smiling. He leaned down and dropped a chaste kiss on his lips then turned to walk back toward the bar. He could feel Toby's eyes burning a hole in his back. Toby caught up to him, spun him around on his heel, and kissed him so hot and hard that he almost came in his pants. When he finally released him, they turned to see a couple staring at them absolutely horrified.

"You jealous?"

"Chris!"

"What?"

"Don't be rude."

"They was *starin'* Toby."

"That's why I wanted to keep our relationship private."

Chris leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You're the one who kissed me, Toby." Chris turned and strode into the bar knowing he would follow. He sat down at the bar and asked for a Coke, and had managed to drink half of it before Toby made up his mind to come in looking for him. He walked up and stood behind him, breathing hard. Irritation evident, Chris could feel his breath on the back of his neck as he turned around lazily in his seat.

"Whatcha need, Buddy?"

"What? We need to *talk.*"

Chris stood up, biting his lower lip, and lead him into the storage room. He was about to get lit into for doing *exactly* what he had said he wanted him to do! So he braced himself for impact as he closed the door.

"What the *fuck* is going on with you exactly?"

"How do you mean?"

"You won't hug me. You never call me honey, or baby or sweetheart anymore. You won't even kiss me good bye!"

"Tobe, you asked me not to do any of that anymore. Besides, you know how I feel about good-byes."

"What? No..."

He looked confused. //God, but I love him.//

"You asked me to stop showin' affection in public and to go easy on the lovey dovey names. If I do it at home, I'll slip an' do it somewheres else too, so I just made myself quit entirely. I didn't wanna make you mad at me by embarrassin' you in front a' your friends when they come home wit you from class, so I just stopped."

Toby evaluated what he had just heard, then nodded slowly. His voice betrayed his sadness.

"I guess you're right."

Well, that hadn't worked out right. He was supposed to ask him to go back to the way they used to be. Inspiration struck. If Toby could see how some of these women threw themselves at him, he would surely get jealous and make a stand. //That's money in the bank.//

"You wanna hang out wit me here tonight? You're gonna be gone to class in two weeks an' I won't get to see much a' you after that. Whatcha say? Wanna stay?"

"I'm not old enough."

"You're old enough to be inside, but not get served. Shit, *I'm* not old enough to get served."

"You really want me to stay?"

Chris reached out and touched his face. "Baby, you *know* I want you to stay." He pulled Toby to him and kissed him softly.

"Come on, Baby. Let's go." Chris pulled him toward the door and headed back out into the crowd. It was still rather quiet so Toby could get away with sitting with him by the door. Once it picked up, he'd either have to leave or move over to a table. Hopefully one with a good view.

"I know. Hold on a minute." Chris went behind the bar and got a reserved sign to put on the table closest to the door and explained as he went what he was doing.

"Oh, okay. I don't know how long I'll stay after it picks up. I don't want to be a distraction."

"You distract me from home, don't be silly." Chris leaned in just close enough to brush his lips against Toby's. His actions were so quick no one would have seen him unless they were staring right at them.

Chris didn't have to wait long for Toby to see what he had to deal with every night. Two fights broke out and some guy got forcibly removed for touching a young woman inappropriately. About an hour after he pried the guys hands off her breasts, she came over and started talking to him. She kept touching his arm and calling him honey and darlin'. He could see Toby's teeth clench every time she touched him. This was working out better ‘n he ever expected.

Toby was outright blushing by the time she slid her hand under the sleeve of his wifebeater to stroke his chest. Chris gently removed her hand, careful not to offend her. Yet, he was *more* worried about Toby's reaction had he not removed her hand than her's over him actually doing. //Can't hurt his feelings, man, he holds a grudge longer than any female I ever met.//

She sat there talking to him, sugar sweet, for the better part of an hour. He never would have known that Toby could withstand so much. If the situation had been reversed, he would have lasted ten minutes, fifteen at the most. Then he would have thrown a fit to rival anything he'd ever seen Toby do. The proverbial straw came when Chris looked away from her to check on how Toby was doing. She moved in-between his legs and kissed him full on the mouth while tweaking his nipples through his shirt. Chris jerked back hard trying to get away from her and ended up falling, taking the stool with him.

"Don't you have any respect? Decency? The man told you he was involved and you're all over him humping him like a dog in heat!"

Chris looked on in horror from the floor where he had landed.

"Toby!"

"Fuck that, Chris! I'm actually sick to my stomach!"

"Just who the fuck do you think you are? His wife?"

Chris groaned. Wrong choice of words...

"Well, if you want to get *fucking technical*, I guess I am! Now back off bitch!"

Chris expected him to say something, but to put on a floor show! //Holy shit! I'll be lucky to still have a job left.//

"Okay... enough." He jumped up and took Toby by the arm and lead him out to the car. Chris shook with barely repressed humor and just a touch of outrage.

"Toby! I think I just lost my job!"

"I'm sorry." He hung his head miserably. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

Chris stared at him for a moment, uncertain how to react. He wanted to laugh out loud, but that would only enrage him further. "Okay, Sweetheart. I'm not mad at you, but I do gotta go in there and beg Johnny not to fire me. You go on home. If I need you to come get me, I'll call. ‘Kay?" Chris cupped his cheek in his hand and Toby turned to meet it, nuzzling his palm, almost purring. Chris felt an answering jerk in his groin.

"I won't be long tonight, I swear. Be here at bar time."

Toby nodded wordlessly and got in the car to head home. Chris delayed his smile as long as he could and finally allowed it to break and spread when he could no longer see the tail lights from the car.

"Chris?"

Johnny called to him from the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"What was that about?"

"He was jealous."

"Oh! I couldn't tell!"

"Idn't it great? He didn't want *me* to embarrass *him* in public by showin' affection and shit. Now here he goes and does this. Wooo hooo!"

"You're mental. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. Lemme go in here an' buy her a drink before she get's some guy to jump me."

Johnny watched his friend retreat. He sure knew how to play Tobe like a violin. He'd have him kicking the door off the closet in no time. He chuckled at the thought as he went back in to take up his place behind the bar.

~~~~~~

Toby waited until Chris was out of sight then floored the car. //Fucking whore. She's probably all over him now that I'm gone. *Cunt.*// He pulled up into the driveway and just sat there. //Fuckfuckfuckfuck.// "I hope he does fire you, Chris. At least then I won't have to worry about some whore all over you as soon as I turn my back." He got out and slammed the door. //*Bitch.*// He stormed up the walk and into their apartment. He looked around for something to throw and couldn't even find something to relieve his tension with. //*Figures.*//

Toby felt dirty all over. //The smoke, the slut, the whole shitty fucking day.// Toby walked in and started his shower. He knew it would take a minute to heat up so he wandered into their room. He glanced around the room taking note of all of the little reminders that Chris shared the room with him. His dirty T-shirts, or wifebeaters as he called them, piled next to the closet. He really hated laundry, but it appeared that Chris hated it even more. Toby smiled. //At least *I* won't go without underwear just to keep from doing the laundry.//

His gaze fell on the shelf Chris had built for him. It was even more beautiful than the one he used to have. The moldings he used were exquisite. //And he *made* it.// Chris was such an artist, he couldn't believe he wasted his time on a job like that. He could make a fortune selling things he made. He would have to talk to him about that when he got home...

A painful knot in Toby's back called his attention back to the present. He desperately needed a shower. //No, I desperately need Chris, but a shower will do in the interim.// Toby climbed in and tried to let all of his troubles just wash away. Chris would be off soon and he would go get him, early. Toby scrubbed at his skin trying to wash the overpowering feeling of filth off. //She must have infected me with her sleeze because I can't scrub hard enough to feel clean again. *Bitch.*//

Toby reached down to plug the tub. Maybe a bubble bath would help. He sat down and watched as the water filled the tub, still pissed. He just couldn't believe that she had actually put her hands on Chris. His Chris! And right in front of him! He took a deep breath and leaned up to turn the water off. The bubble bath he had added was frothing over the side, wrapping him in a delicate cocoon of warmth.

Toby awoke with a start. //Yep. Damn phone's ringing.// Toby pulled himself up out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"Hello?"

"I'm done for the night if ya wanna come get me. Although, that nice lady said she would give me a ride if you didn't want to..."

Toby slammed down the phone without so much as an answer, picked up the keys off the table next to the door and slipped on Chris' house shoes. He headed toward the car as fast as he could without tripping over the too-large shoes, got in, slammed the door, and was tearing down the street with all the repressed fury that threatened an explosion. The furious man didn't even bother to park in the lot, but screeched to a halt right in front of the door. He got out of the car and slammed the door of the bar wide open. Chris, who was sitting at the bar, whirled around and almost fell of the stool at the sight of him standing there clad only in a towel and his house shoes.

"Come the *fuck* on Chris. I have to take you home to *delouse.*" Venom dripping from his fangs, he let his gaze fall on the *lady* who was still sitting next to him.

"Jezze, Tobe. Couldn't pause to dress first?"

"And take a chance that you might become further infected by the filth that I couldn't seem to wash away? Not on your life. Let's fucking GO already."

"Goddamn, Baby, but you can be mean."

"When it comes to protecting what's mine, fuck yeah, I guess I can. Now come on."

Chris mouthed "I'm sorry" to her as he left. She had been a good sport. //I can't believe how hard Beech fell for the act. I really can't believe May put her up to it! Shit, before long Toby's gonna be tellin' people himself that they we're together. Possessive spoiled rotten little brat. Don't wanna share his toys wit nobody!// Chris felt his heart swell with love as he walked out the door to find him leaning against the car, tapping one foot impatiently. //Christ alive he looks... pissed. Uh oh.//

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?"

"I saw the fucking time on the way out. It's after fucking three, Chris. You got off at bar time, why didn't you call me sooner? And what the *fuck* was that tramp doing in there after closing?"

"I just found out that she was the cousin of a good friend of mine. May-bel. She was helpin' out. I was bein' nice, talkin' to her, until you came to get me. I was only jokin' on the phone but you hung up before I could tell you that..."

Toby snorted, but remained silent.

"It's a lucky thing she thinks your jealousy is cute or I would have been out of a job tonight. My only other choice would have been stripping..."

"Oh I don't *even* think so."

"So, Baby, Honey, you gotta go easy. Don't come bustin' out at people like that."

"Chris, she touched you. What did you want me to do? Wait until she went down on you to say something?"

"No, of course not. A bit more tact and discretion would have been nice tho." Gentle amusement tinted his words as he looked at the man he loved more than his life.

"Well, I hope you remember that when you see someone come on to me!" Anger, frustration and impotence fueled his response as he waved his arms wildly punctuating his remarks.

Chris stared at him, surprised for a moment. He'd never had the confidence to ever believe that someone else could find him attractive before. What had changed?

The thought of someone else touching Toby turned his voice deadly cold. "I'd fuckin' kill over you. You know that."

"There you have it then. Not one more word about my actions tonight."

Toby climbed out of the car and started toward the apartment. It was all Chris could do not to reach out and jerk the towel off. He knew from the way he moved in the bar that he wasn't wearing anything else. //Now that's hot!//

Chris followed Toby inside trying hard to hide his glee as he thought about the way he had let *everybody* know that he belonged to him. //God, what an ego fuckin' boost! Gotta love my little hellcat tho. No one but.// Chris followed Toby to bed. He ready and waiting, just for him.

After hours of punishing himself, and Toby, with his relentless sex drive, Chris finally tore himself away and went to take a shower. He let his thoughts drift as he sudsed himself up thoroughly. He was so far gone that he almost jumped through the wall when he felt Toby's hands grab him from behind.

"I thought you already had a bath."

"I did. But you got me all dirty again." He lowered his voice seductively, then added. "And I loved every minute of it."

He kissed Chris' shoulder, gently nipping him, tasting soap and musk, he moved to trail fiery kisses across his back and down. Chris almost passed out from the sheer force of the desire that hit him like a kick in the gut when Toby stopped his kisses just at the edge of his derriere and nuzzled his nose in the crevice he found there. Chris felt him part his cheeks and tentatively slide his tongue in to taste him. He cried out so loud the neighbors had to have heard him. "Arrrgggghhhhhh, Christ!"

He felt his knees weaken and almost fell when Toby slid his tongue inside after thoroughly tracing the outer edge, teasing, licking. It was more torture than any man should ever have to endure. Toby continued his assault by removing his mouth only to replace it with his finger, then gently shifted Chris to face him while he drove him mad with the things he was doing with that finger... //Wooooooaaaaaahhhhh!// Chris felt the haze descending to claim him as the waves of passion, thick and hot hit him, coursed through him. //I'm sooooo close, slow down, Baby.// He was through the instant Toby claimed him in his mouth. His other hand gently caressed his balls, gently squeezing them. Chris came with such a force that Toby struggled, at first, to take it all in. After a moment of experimentation and adjustment, he was finally able to find his groove and make it even more pleasurable for Chris. He worked his finger and mouth until he was sure Chris had nothing left to give. He kissed his stomach and nuzzled his face against his deflating cock.

Chris felt himself starting to get excited again. He honestly didn't think he could survive another go-around this soon. He slowly slid into the tub next to Toby and pulled him close. "Jeeze, Baby, if I knew bein' jealous could do this to you, I would have eye-fucked everything in a skirt from here to Texas to get a rise outta you."

Toby playfully punched him in the arm. "I love you too, jerk-off." There. He said it. Now it was Chris' turn. He waited. Waited. But the words never came. To save face, and to let him know that he wasn't hurt by his lack of response, Toby completely changed the subject and asked Chris to come with him to get his clothes for school that would be starting soon.

"Okay. When you wanna go?"

"Tomorrow? I want to get something done with my hair. Maybe some contacts. Just to see..."

Chris felt himself tense. "Why you wanna go and change for?" He remembered the conversation they had the first few days about his looking too good and the jealousy. Was he trying to make him jealous? What would he do if he met some girl and decided he would rather be *normal* again? //Holy Christ.// Chris felt himself start to die a little. Toby was taking entirely too long to answer... //*Fuck* Don't look good, Guy.//

"Just want to look good for you. Maybe you won't let the next one touch you... If I look good."

"You do look good to me! You are the sexiest, the hottest oh my God, Baby. I can't believe yer doubtin' yerself!"

"Do you love me?" The words were so softly spoken he'd almost missed them, wished he had missed them.

"You know how I feel about you, Tobe."

"No. No I don't. I need to hear you say it."

Chris took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes. Well, he had played the game and dodged the bullet enough in his life. This was going to take a pound of flesh, but that seemed to be what Toby needed. He needed it to make himself feel better. To know he wasn't alone anymore. //All right. Take a deep breath then jump in.//

"Well, to start wit, I gotta say this. Not to hurt you, but to give you perspective. See, yer not the first man I was ever wit. I had sex to make money, to get protection, to save my life. But none of it, *none of it,* meant anything to me. Wit women, it was easy. All I would have to do was *tell* them I loved them and they would give it up. I never had to mean it, and I *never* did. After I got tired of ‘em, when the sex wasn't good no more, I left ‘em. Never had anything in common wit any of ‘em. Just a means to an end. Then you come along. Spoiled rotten little rich boy. That first day, when I woke up in yer room. ‘Member?"

Toby nodded, but remained silent.

"Well, when you said what you did about yer Dad and it bein' because a' me, I thought we had already had sex." He paused and waited for the full effect of his words to register.

Slightly rounded eyes stared back at him, but he still refused to speak. He wanted to hear the rest of the story too much to interrupt.

"That's why I was callin' you baby and flirtin' wit you all the time. I thought you were already mine. Then that day in there in my room when I kissed you and you bolted outta the bed like you did, well, I finally figured it out. Felt pretty fuckin' stupid if I do say so myself. But after I had the fantasy, shit, I just had to have the real thing. I wanted to make you mine in every sense of the word. Then one day, one glorious day, you finally let me in. Not all the way, but I had hope." He paused and took a ragged breath. Here he was giving away all his hold cards and secrets to the one man who could use them to destroy him completely if he chose to do so. Chris struggled to push the niggling strings of doubt out of his mind and continued.

"Every day that I spent away from you that week was like wakin' up after dreamin' about Heaven to find out that yer still in Hell. It was brutal. Then when you came lookin' for me... It was like gettin' a pardon on yer birthday and winning the lottery all at the same time. I felt like the luckiest man alive." Chris wiped the tear impatiently away. No time to cry now. Not yet. Tears that would have gone unseen from the shower, made evident by the action.

"I was really hurt when you told me that you didn't want anybody to know about us so I started teasin' you. I stopped callin' you by the names that I *knew* you liked, even if you wouldn't admit it. It was HARD to stop, but I had to. I wanted you to see what you were askin' me to do, the *way* you were askin' me to live. Is that the way you want it?"

Toby studied his face intently. He could feel the pain emanating from him. He was laying himself bare, raw beneath his gaze. Toby almost sobbed, shaken by the realization. He knew Chris had never given away any part of himself, yet in the short time they had been together he had already given so much of himself. Now, as they sat there under the water that was steadily growing colder, he gave him his soul. To have, to hold, to love, to destroy. The power was all his and Toby found himself humbled by the knowledge. He wiped away the tears impatiently and gave Chris his answer.

"No."

Toby could see him physically relax and exhale the air that he had trapped in his lungs. //Sweet Jesus, I love this beautiful complex man.//

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"My friends, at school. They won't understand..."

"You don't gotta tell them if ya don't want to. I just wanna be able to put my arm around you or kiss you whenever I feel like it, even if there are other people around, without you tensin' up on me."

"Well, after the horrid display I put on tonight I can't hardly plead shyness, can I?

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? Walkin' into a biker bar at three am wearing nothin' but a towel? Baby, you got balls the size of Cleveland." Toby smiled at the compliment then stood to help Chris out of the shower.

"Come on. We're turning to prunes in here."

Chris stepped out then stopped just short of the door.

"Tobe?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I know."

"More than my life."

"I know." His last words so soft Chris had almost missed them.

Continued in Part 10


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