That night, after making love to his wife, Tobias laid awake, staring at the high ceiling in their room. He glanced at Genevieve who was breathing softly, her head resting on his chest. He stroked her hair, and continued to stare at the ceiling. Everything had been different. He wondered if she felt it too. He loved her, he loved her so much, and yet his feelings for her didn't come into play during the sex. It was like his heart was removed of his body, like he was just going through the motions. He almost started to cry, because he couldn't feel anything, and he wanted to so badly. He *needed* to. Thinking about it now, made him want to cry again.
Tobias closed his eyes tightly, as a tear escaped his left eye. He suddenly gripped Genevieve closer to him, and she stirred slightly. Her eyes flickered open, and she glanced up at Tobias, noticing the tear glistening on his cheek.
"Tobias?" She whispered groggily. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he choked out. "Go back to sleep, sweetie." Genevieve looked up at him again, as he rubbed his tear away. She stroked his cheekbone with her thumb softly and then rested her head back on his chest, wrapping her arms around his body, then closed her dark eyes again.
Tobias sighed helplessly, and tried to drift off.
The rest of the week went by rather quickly. He busied himself being a caring father and a loving husband. But all of his efforts felt weak, hollow, fake. He tried to shake the feeling but he couldn't. It haunted him, it followed him.
Genevieve for the most part didn't notice what he was going through. Then again, maybe she did. Tobias became increasingly irritated with her unreadable face, her unreadable thoughts.
Chris never showed up again, much to the relief of Tobias. He knew that his presence would just further his distressing feelings. Although scarcely a moment went by when he didn't think about him. And his lips on his, his hands on his body, and how much he wanted to feel him again. And how much he hated himself for feeling that way.
That Sunday, Tobias was in his study when Genevieve appeared in the doorway, dressed for church. He turned around and glanced at her.
"Hey," he said.
"Why aren't you dressed for church?" She asked, staring at him. He shrugged.
"I'm not going," he replied. "I've just got to finish up some work."
"We are going to my mother's right after." She said, tapping her fingers against the doorway. He tried to smile.
"It's okay honey, go without me."
"God, Tobias." She huffed, slightly annoyed. He turned around in his chair, and continued to work. He heard her sigh heavily and walk away. As Tobias typed on his keyboard, he heard the kids and Genevieve depart from the house.
An hour later, Tobias woke up. He stared down at the papers in front of him, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He had remembered putting his head down on the desk, just to rest, he must have drifted off. That's when he heard the doorbell. Tobias got up from his desk and padded downstairs, he opened the front door sleepily, and the figure at the door turned around. Tobias bit his bottom lip, and tried to close the door, but Chris held it, before he could close it.
"Anyone home?" Chris said, trying to peer inside. Tobias pushed against the door, still trying to close it on him, but Chris pushed it open and stepped inside.
"Why are you here again?" Tobias asked wearily, still drowsy from his nap.
"Why do you always ask me that? You know the fucking answer, Toby." Chris was wearing his leather jacket, and a black wifebeater with gray pants. He began walking through the hallway into the living room. "That sweet wife of yours here?" He asked, as Tobias followed him, defeated. A strange wave of aggravation mixed with desire swirled through his body as he followed him. Was Tobias pissed or pleased?
Chris took off his jacket and dropped it on the lazy boy recliner. He smiled slightly at Tobias. "Did I wake you?"
"You have got to get out of here. My wife will be home soon." Tobias said smally. Chris's smile grew wider, he raised and eyebrow.
"Why? What am I doing wrong?" He couldn't stop grinning. Tobias looked nervously away from Chris, who began to approach him. When there was about a half a foot between them, he stopped, and stared at Tobias, his eyes running over his face. He reached out, and cupped his cheek in his hand. Tobias was frozen, and his eyes locked with Chris's. Chris inched closer, his head tilted, his free hand running over the length of Tobias's body, but not touching him. "I can't stop thinking about you," he whispered, leaning his head towards Tobias's right ear. Tobias took a deep breath, and leaned in closer to Chris, feeling the heat of his body. "Toby..."
Chris leaned into him pushing his lips on his, wrapping his arms around Tobias's body, as Tobias's hands were tangled around Chris's neck, kissing him back, just as eagerly. They broke the kiss, and Tobias wrapped his arms around him and embraced him, feeling the muscles in his back. His heart was beating rapidly, but for the first time that week, and maybe in a long time, he felt real. He felt alive.
Chris leaned in again, this time kissing Tobias's neck. Until Tobias moved his head back to Chris, capturing his lips in another passionate kiss. The kisses became deeper, and Chris began to work his hands up underneath Tobias's t-shirt.
"Stop," Tobias whispered, his lips a half an inch away from Chris's.
"Why?" Chris whispered back, as he rubbed his hands over Tobias's chest. Tobias didn't have an answer, he shook his head, his brow furrowed, his eyes closed. Chris leaned in touching his forehead with Tobias. "I know you don't want me to," he replied, as Tobias struggled inside with himself.
Everything was so damn surreal. He suddenly didn't know what the hell was happening, and he wasn't in control.
Tobias felt his shirt being lifted over his head, and watched as though he was detached from his own body as it was thrown on the ground. Chris ran his lips across Tobias's shoulders, kissing the goose bumps as they rose on his pale skin.
"I know what you want," he whispered, as he kissed his skin. Tobias placed his hands on the back of his neck.
"How?" he asked, "I don't even know what I want."
Chris looked up at Tobias his deep blue eyes staring through him. "Yes, you do."
Tobias shivered, and hugged himself. Chris slowly removed his wife beater, his muscles straining as he took it off. Tobias stared at him, Chris's eyes had never left his. He smiled reassuringly as he closened to Tobias again.
"It's okay." He whispered, taking Tobias's hand, and putting it on his chest.
"This isn't really happening." Tobias said aloud. "You're not really here." Tobias told himself as his hand moved across Chris's chest.
"Oh, this *is* happening," Chris replied, gripping his wrist. He took his index finger in his mouth, and licked it, sucked on it, nibbled on the finger nail. He pulled it out of his mouth, and kissed the end of it, gazing at Tobias. "Finally."
Tobias watched as Chris laced his fingers through his. His fingers were rough, and calluses were formed from years of manual labor. They felt very powerful against his soft and slender fingers. Chris brought them, still intertwined with his, to his lips and kissed them. Tobias continued to watch him, his eyes locked on his, and his heart was beating so rapidly he thought it would explode.
With his free hand, Chris grabbed Tobias around the waist and pulled him close to him as their bodies were touching. Chris took his hand away from Tobias's and slid it down his side. Tobias looked at it, watching as the strong hand slipped toward his stomach, and dropped to the front of his sweat pants.
Tobias's breathing quickened as Chris neared his crotch, grazing it teasingly, enjoying the muffled moans Tobias let out, his eyes squeezed shut. Chris groped him, and Tobias's eyes opened again, regaining eye contact with Chris. He leaned down to the blond, their lips connecting hungrily. Tobias sucked on Chris's lips hard as he felt Chris's hand slip down his sweatpants and beneath his boxers. As he stroked him, Tobias sucked on Chris's tongue, probing into his mouth.
It was all too much to handle for Tobias. He could feel himself become overly emotional and the shivering easily turned into uncontrollable shaking. He feared he might topple over if Chris didn't have one strong hand gripping his back.
But that hand soon left his back, and slipped down Tobiasís heaving chest, and down to his pants. He grabbed the waistband and pulled them down around Tobias's ankles, along with the plain white boxers.
Tobias stood, cold and nude in front of Chris, who was in front of him, on his knees. His hands slipped around him and rested on his ass. He squeezed it slightly and then leaned into his cock, taking him into his mouth.
Tobias gasped suddenly, his eyes jerking open, and then as Chris continued licking and sucking him he soon became relaxed enough to close his eyes. He let his hands rest on the back of Chris's neck, urging him on. He felt his head roll back, the moans sounding like they were coming from someone else's mouth.
He shuddered quickly as he came, falling to his knees in front of Chris. He opened his eyes and stared at him, he could see his face blurry, from the tears in his eyes. Chris captured him in his arms and they kissed softly and slowly.
-End Part Seven-
Tobias sat against the couch in his sweatpants, hugging his knees to his chest as he watched Chris get dressed silently. Chris hadn't said anything to him, like he had to leave or anything. He just stood up after kissing him for awhile, and began to get dressed.
Tobias was disorientated. He knew exactly what had happened, but was kind of in a state of disbelief about the whole thing. He still felt like he was detached from his own body, like he had watched the entire thing, not like he had actually participated in it.
Honestly, he had no idea what Chris was thinking. He hardly looked at him after he got up. Tobias lowered his head on top of his knees, closing his eyes, willing the thoughts away. Chris touched his shoulder moments later and Tobias looked at him.
"Are you alright?" Chris asked, for the first time Tobias actually heard concern in his voice.
"Yeah," Tobias choked out, losing all reassurance when the word came out. Chris smiled, and sat down next to him. He stroked Tobias's bicep, and he turned to look at Chris, in stunned silence.
Tobias shook his head "It's nothing..."
"I've gotta confession to make." Chris said, not looking at Tobias, who was looking straight ahead as well. Hearing no response from Tobias, he continued. "That night...when we went to play pool. When you took me home..."
"I wasn't really *that* drunk." Chris replied. "I kinda played it up, so you'd take me home."
Tobias wasn't surprised, he had his suspicions that everything leading up to this point was an elaborate scheme. Still there was one question that kept nagging away at him. "I don't get it." Tobias replied, standing up, and looking down at him.
Chris looked up at him. He smiled, his brow furrowing in a mock expression of Tobias's own puzzled face. "What don'cha get?"
"Why me?" Tobias said simply.
"Why you what...?"
"Why me?" Tobias replied emphasizing the why. "Why did you come into my life - why did you decide to throw yourself into my life?"
"I didn't decide nothin', Toby," he replied standing up and facing him.
"You're going to tell me that this was all just some coincidence. Those first few days at the sandwich shop."
"Naw." Chris replied grinning slightly. "Fate."
"Fate," Tobias repeated flatly.
"That so hard to believe?" He asked, his grin growing. "Sometimes you know, fate needs a little....nudge."
Tobias sighed harder and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. "You should go." Chris stepped closer to Tobias, slithering his arms around his waist.
"Next time, I'll call first," Chris said softly. He leaned into Tobias, and Tobias accepted the kiss quickly. Chris smiled, and walked to the front door, and Tobias stayed in the same spot - allowing himself to breath once he heard the front door close.
Tobias ran his fingers through his hair again, and picked up his glasses which were laying near the door. He put them on, and plopped down on the couch. Staring straight ahead, and letting his mind to wander on anything but the thing that had happened between him and Chris that afternoon, was proving to be very difficult.
Tobias picked up his shirt, and tugged it over his head. He began to pace the room, a feeling of utter helplessness washed over him suddenly. He felt sick, sticky and rumpled. He didn't feel like the same person he was that morning. Somehow, he was different. He didn't smell the same either. That's because the scent on his skin was not his own.
Keller's scent was all over his body, the scent of his sweat filled his nostrils.
Chris had devoured Tobias, pressing him hard into the carpet as he kissed and licked his body. He covered him with his own body, draping his pale frame with his hard chiseled torso, working his rough fingers over his only slightly defined muscles. And Tobias didn't protest. Tobias didn't want him to stop, he couldn't let him stop. He doubted Chris would have even stopped, even if he had asked.
He stood up quickly, the sense of bewilderment fading away slowly. But he still felt different, and now with the introduction of guilt seeping into his conscious, he felt even more nauseous.
Tobias left the room, the room that smelled like sex. But he knew somehow that it was probably all in his head. His seriously messed up head.
Tobias slowly padded up the stairs to his bedroom and went straight into the bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror as he stripped out of his clothes. He stood there awhile, just looking at himself in the mirror, putting his hand up to it, touching his reflection.
Wondered in his head, who *are* you?
He took off his glasses, and stepped into the shower. Turned on the water, yelped when it came out cold, and cursed as it turned hot and scalded him. When the water became a comfortable temperature he stood directly under the shower head, letting the warm water slip down his body. He lifted his head up, the water pounding down on his face, and flowed into his mouth when he opened it. He traced his body with a bar of soap, and watched as the suds went down the drain.
Tobias noticed the finger marks Chris had left on his waist. He couldn't smell him anymore, but when he closed his eyes, he could still feel his mouth on his. But this mouth was more forceful, hungrier, more intruding. It pushed its way into his mouth, and sucked the breath out of his lungs.
Tobias staggered out of the shower, gasped for air, and wrapped himself in a towel. He fell to his knees, his hand placed on his throat trying to regain air in his lungs. He coughed, and then heard Genevieve downstairs talking to their children. He ran his hands through his hair, and considered how long he could actually stay hiding in the bathroom. He didn't know if he could face them.
He dried himself off with the towel. He still felt different, then shook his head, like a mere shower could wash away what *that* feeling, wash away what happened.
Downstairs he could hear his wife speaking sternly and loudly to their son, whom was causing a half screeching, half screaming noise from Holly. Tobias debated staying in the bathroom for awhile until he resolved it with himself and walked out. He had to come out sometime.
He sat on his bed, digging through his drawers for a pair of jeans when silky fingers creeped over his shoulders. He identified her touch immediately, her scent filling the air around him. He closed his eyes, taking a stiff breath before she spoke.
"Sorry about this morning," she said, causing him to close his eyes and wince. "I shouldn't have been upset, but you know how my mother gets when you're not with me. She thinks we live in the stone ages."
But Tobias knew there was more to that. His mother in law loved him, at first. Knowing Genevieve was getting hitched with someone as well off as him with a bright future, well it was more then she could have hoped for. Until Gen made the mistake of telling her he had a problem with alcohol in the past. Genevieve was extremely honest, sometimes he thought, *too* honest. Ever since then, her mother has been cold towards him. Even more so when Genevieve visits her and he doesn't come along. She thinks he'll fall off the wagon if he's left unsupervised. She thinks Genevieve is way too good for him.
Maybe she was right about that.
"Mmm...but I shouldn't have snapped at you," she said softly, rubbing her fingers over his shoulders. "God you're tense."
"Yeah," he whispered, his voice lost.
"Tobias...something wrong?" She asked suddenly. He shut his eyes, there it was again, that question. The begging question - the question that if answered, everything would be alright, right? He turned around and hugged her, resting his head on her shoulder. "Oh baby..." she murmured worriedly. "Baby..." Tobias smiled meekly at her, as he released her. He hoped he did it make her too concerned. He had held back the tears in his eyes, and let his hands fall to his lap.
"I have to get dressed," Tobias said, returning his attention to the opened dresser drawer. "Did you uhm...have a nice time?" Tobias picked out a pair of Levis as she turned and looked at him, still a bit shaken by the silent embrace.
"Yes, although Gary's been acting up."
"I heard Holly hollering downstairs." Tobias nodded, pulling over a clean t-shirt.
"Yeah, he was kicking at her. Listen -- Tobias...is everything alright?"
"Huh? I'm fine, sweetheart." Tobias finished dressing and looked at his wife. "Where are the kids?"
"In Gary's room, playing with Legos," she replied.
"I'm gonna go play too." Tobias said with a small grin, determined to get his mind off of what had happened, at least for now.
Tobias kissed his wife on the forehead and crossed the hall to Gary's bedroom. As Tobias stood in the doorway, Gary didn't see him and stomped on Holly's Lego building.
"Hey, hey, hey," Tobias shouted walking into the room. As soon as Holly saw him she began to wail. He looked at Gary disapprovingly as he consoled his daughter. "What's wrong with you?"
"Her building was stupid!" Gary replied, looking annoyed. Holly immediately stopped crying, taking offense.
"Was not!" She shouted back, Tobias patted her on the back.
"You know, mommy was saying you were acting up." Tobias told his son. Gary pouted, sat back down and began to build with the Legos again.
"Well, mommy's stupid," Gary muttered.
"Sounds like someone needs a nap," Tobias replied. He took the box of Legos and began to put the Legos lying on the floor inside. "Get in bed," he told Gary, who at first looked like he wasn't, but he obeyed his father grumpily. Tobias left with his daughter and the box of Legos.
He returned to his bedroom with Holly, Genevieve was on the bed balancing the checkbook.
"We should plan that trip," she said without looking up. Holly sat down next to her mother on the bed.
"Trip?" Tobias asked, he didn't know she still had her heart set on it. Frankly, the thought a week ago scared him - he felt like spending time at home with his family was the best, but getting out of this house sounded better now. In fact -- a family trip may be just what he needs to squash this sick desire to fuck up his life. That's what this thing with Chris Keller was, right? He couldn't actually have feelings for him.
He's a *man*, and I'm heterosexual, he thought. Course, you weren't thinking about that when had his tongue down your throat - not to mention other places - this morning, were you Tobias?
"Well, you remember Tobias don't you? A weekend trip for the family." Genevieve replied looking up from the checkbook. "Where's Gary?"
"I put him to bed. He was being a fucking brat."
As soon as the word came out of his mouth. He'd knew he'd get a reaction. Genevieve's reaction was silent, eyes wide, staring - boring through him. Holly was next to her, oblivious to what he had just said.
"I - I'm sorry Gen.."
"I'm just glad Holly didn't hear," Genevieve replied.
"Hear what, mommy?" Holly asked, perking up when she heard her name mentioned.
"Nothing, honey," Genevieve soothed, threading her fingers through her daughter's golden locks. Holly crumpled her face up and sighed.
Genevieve looked back at Tobias, as if she could see inside him and see what was bothering him. Because she knew something was wrong. And it wasn't that he just swore in front of Holly, or that he cursed at all when he never does. It had been his whole presence lately. He had been acting peculiar for weeks. And when he finally took off work for three weeks, Genevieve knew for sure something was troubling her husband.
Hard to read or not, Tobias knew when he worried his wife, and her face was worried. He knew his wife could tell when something was bothering him, but he really had no choice but to shut her out. He had no idea what was wrong himself, so how could he possibly answer her?
"So, Holly, where do you want to go for a family trip?" Genevieve asked her daughter as she stroked her back.
"Dizz-nee World!" Holly shouted gleefully.
Genevieve turned with a smile at Tobias "What do you say, daddy?"
"Up to you, mommy," Tobias mumbled, getting up from the bed and leaving the room.
He walked downstairs to the kitchen and looked in the fridge, there were several chicken breasts in a bowl that Genevieve was marinating since the morning. He stared at the chicken unblinking, losing his appetite as his thoughts turned to Chris.
He began to reason that after what happened today, maybe this would actually be the last time he would see him. Chris got what he wanted - his *conquest* was over, this *thing* was over. Even though he mentioned a "next time" maybe he didn't really mean that at all. The most unsettling thing about these thoughts was the fact that part of Tobias was actually disappointed that he wouldn't be seeing him anymore.
He tried to block it, tried to ignore it, but it was there in his mind, in his heart - the nagging feeling - the nagging emptiness.
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Holly's voice broke into Tobias's thoughts. And he instantly felt like the scum of the earth.
"What is it Holly?"
"I'm hungry. Mommy said to put the chicken in the oven."
"Where is mommy?"
"Really? So, guess it's just you and me huh, girlie?" Tobias said with a smile, which Holly returned brightly. Tobias turned around as the smile faded from his face and opened the refrigerator.
Tobias almost rolled up over the curb as he parked his car the next day. He walked across the dry grass and quickened his pace as he reached the front door of the small house. He knocked on it unthinking, determined, not sure why.
Chris opened the front door and looked at Tobias with a surprised expression on his face.
"Can I come in?" Tobias asked gruffly.
How the hell did he end up here? Genevieve wrote a grocery list, and he volunteered to take care of it for her. Partly selfish, because he had to get out of that house. But somehow, twenty minutes later he found himself in Chris's area, and then he found himself standing in front of Chris, and no idea why.
Or at least he told himself, he doesn't know why.
Chris opened the screen door and stood aside, letting Tobias come inside. Chris watched him walk in aimlessly, and leaned back against the door observing him silently. Tobias turned around and looked at Chris, who began to approach him with a feral look on his face. He suddenly felt like prey. Chris smirked, and grabbed Tobias by his waist and pulled him over to him, his pelvis grinding into his roughly.
"No - Chris, stop!" Tobias shouted pushing Chris away with conviction. "Chris, look - we have to talk about things..."
Chris grinned with somewhat of a nod and backed towards the couch, and sat down on the arm. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, still grinning, then put his head back.
"About what?! What the hell do you *think*?! About this!!!" Tobias shouted back, motioning his hand between himself and Chris "This...*thing*!"
Chris kept the grin on his face. "You turn me on when you scream."
"This isn't funny, Chris --"
"I think it is."
"Well, it isn't," Tobias sighed. "Okay, look--"
"Why do you always call it a thing?"
Tobiasís train of thought stumbled. "What?"
"Yeah. You've never said what it is. An affair. We're havin' an affair."
"No we're not...that was just one--"
"One time? You didn't come here to talk."
"Yes I *did*."
Chris shook his head, he looked at him smugly. "So talk. What the hell is so damn important, that you had to come all the way here, run away from your perfect house, your perfect wife and your perfect little life to come here and tell me?"
Tobias stared at Chris, and knew there was no point. He began to walk towards the door, only to be stopped by Chris getting up and blocking him. Tobias hung his head, then looked up at him.
"There is no point...whatever I have to say, you don't give a damn."
"Try me." Chris replied, looking down at Tobias. He folded his arms. "I'm not as dumb as I look." Tobias looked down and shook his head. "You think I wanted this to happen? Think I was looking for some little screwed up lawyer to get involved with? I was *married*, Toby. I had a wife, we were havin' problems...but we always have problems. Then I met you, and I didn't give a fuck about my marriage...because I knew I'd have you. For some reason, you mean something to me. And I don't know why, we have nothin' in common - I was fucking collecting your *trash*. Remember when you showed me your kids, remember that? That's when I knew..."
"Knew what?" Tobias asked, his eyes locked with Chris's. Chris moved towards him again, this time grabbing his body more gently. As he moved his face down, Tobias jerked away again. "I can't do this anymore. I'm not gay."
Chris hands slipped off of him, and he started to laugh.
"I'm not!" Tobias shouted at him, feeling an awful lot like Gary, defending himself against someone a lot more smarter.
"Who said anything about that? What the fuck does that have to do with any of this shit?"
"Do I look like a fag to you?"
"So, why're you bringin' that up?"
"*Because* in case you haven't noticed we're both *men*!"
"Well," Chris laughed. "I can only speak for myself." Tobias sighed deeply. "Yer gettin off the point. The point *is*, you like me."
"Okay, yeah..." Tobias replied, he could admit that, he did like Chris. If this whole...thing...didn't happen, they could maybe be friends.
"And you want me, just as much as I want you. And you *need* me..." Tobias found himself engulfed in Chris's arms again. With each word, Chris's mouth came closer to his. "And I don't care how much you wanna deny that. 'Cause you know and I know, it's true." Chris let go of Tobias just as he thought he was going to kiss him. He then turned on his heel, and walked back to his couch, sat down, and looked at him like...
Tobias stared at the front door for a moment before walking back to Chris and kissing him. The immediate reaction from Chris kissing him back forced Tobias back a few steps, as Chris got up from the couch and found his waist again. They were moving backwards at a steady pace. Tobias with his hands on Chris's face, Chris with his hands on Tobias's waist, walking backwards, until Tobias hit the wall, and momentarily jerked his head away from Chris to gasp for air.
Chris pressed against him, kissing his face, then moving down his neck and Tobias just closed his eyes and didn't move, like he was on some sort of trip: not trying to understand why everything felt so good. He felt his arms being raised over his head, and Chris looked at him. Tobias's eyes flickered open, and he met Chris's gaze. And for a few solid moments they stared at each other.
They weren't communicating with their eyes, they were just looking into each other. Tobias leaned his face closer to Chris trying to kiss him, but Chris pulled back, and grinned. Tobias would try again, only for Chris to continue to pull his face away. Only when Tobias put his head back in silent defeat would Chris come closer to tease him with his mouth. Not exactly having full contact on his lips, not exactly a kiss.
Tobias sighed deeply, trying to wriggle his hands out of Chriss' grasp so he could grab his face and shove his lips against his own. Chris closened and with a grin, dabbed his tongue out and licked the inside of Tobias's upper lip, before licking his way down to his bottom lip. Chris began to suckle his bottom lip softly, while undoing the button of Tobias's jeans.
Chris sat up in bed, leaning over and poking around his bedside dresser for a marijuana cigarette, which he found in the second drawer, on top of framed photo of one of his ex wives. He put the joint between his teeth, and reached for a lighter. As he lit it, Tobias rolled over on his stomach and moved his head to the side and looked at Chris.
"You were right," he mumbled.
"Hmm?" Chris replied, puffing on the blunt.
"I didn't come here to talk..." Tobias pushed his head in the pillow. Like saying aloud what he knew all along was too much for him to bear. Chris didn't reply, he just ran his rough fingertips down the slope of Tobias's back. "So, what do I mean to you?" He asked, his voice so muffled it was hardly audible.
"What?" Chris said, blowing out smoke from his nostrils. Tobias lifted his head and repeated the question. Chris closed his eyes and leaned back. "I dunno..."
"Then why'd you say that, before...that I meant something to you?"
Chris grinned at him. "Oh I just wanted to fuck you already." He laughed, and lifted the joint to his mouth again after flicking off ashes onto the picture frame he was now using as an ash tray.
"So you're one of those..."
"One of what?"
"Those guys who just say those kinds of things to get what they want. Like you're going to tell me you love me, just to get me in bed again."
Chris laughed again, choking on the smoke as he let it out. "Hey, you sure you ain't a fag?" He replied, slyly glancing over at him. He slumped down next to Tobias, rubbing out the joint in the picture frame. "Anyway, you're easy enough to get into bed." Chris kept grinning at him, and began to play with Tobias's ruffled blond hair. Tobias moved closer to him and draped his legs over Chris's.
It alarmed Tobias how comfortable he felt lying next to him like that. Alarmed him how playful he was being with him, and how wrong it *didn't* feel.
Chris slid a hand up the back of Tobias's thigh and stopped when he reached his ass. He tightened his grip as he leaned down to kiss him.
"Mmm...what time is it?" Tobias mumbled between kisses.
"Time for me to fuck you again?" Chris replied, smiling through slipping his tongue in and out of Tobias' mouth.
"I *am* bein' serious, Toby, Toby, Toby..." Chris said, his voice growing into a whisper, as he began to nibble on Tobias's jaw. Tobias closed his eyes, and reached over Chris, throwing his body over Chris's to get to the alarm clock, which had fallen on the floor.
"Awww Shit!" Tobias shouted, as he saw the clock. Chris, however was beginning to enjoy Tobias being on top of him, until Tobias sat up, scrambling off the bed.
"No, no, no, no..." Chris said as he saw Tobias gathering his clothes off the floor. "What're you doin?!"
"I have to get out of here!" Tobias shouted putting on his boxers.
"Calm down..." Chris replied.
"You know, it doesn't take all day to go to the store. Because that's where I should be right now."
"Why didn't you tell your wife you were goin' to see me? It's not like she would guess that we'd be doin' this."
"'Cause, I didn't even know I'd be coming here." Tobias stopped in his tracks, as Chris stood in front of him, he tore his glance away from his nude body and back to the floor. "Okay, I have to go now..."
Chris frowned. "I don't want you to go."
Tobias looked at him again. "Really?" Chris shrugged. "I have to..."
"Okay, then...I want to see you tomorrow again."
"I don't know if I can do that"
"Why the fuck not?"
"Gen's gonna get suspicious if I disappear hours at a time."
"Fuck that. She's not your owner."
"I'm supposed to be spending time with her. Chris, she is my wife."
"I don't give a fuck what she is." Chris stood up again, and followed Tobias out of his room. Tobias headed for the door without looking back at him. "Don't pretend this doesn't mean anything..."
"What..." Tobias looked down at the floor, and stopped in front of the door.
"You know what I said." Chris replied. Tobias turned around looked up at him.
"What *does* this mean?" Tobias stared at Chris who stared back, but did not attempt to say anything. "That's what I thought."
-End Part Eight-
continued in Part Nine