slashsmut serial drift beecher keller

Mirrors To Your Soul

by Drift

Tobias looked at the clock again, expecting it to say something different than it had only five minutes before. He had called the bar at four, but by then everyone was gone. Five-forty-five and Chris still wasn't home.

//Please, God, please bring him home safely.//

Tobias felt hot tears well up and fall for the hundredth time that night, or more aptly, morning. After crying himself into a weak stupor, he finally fell into a deep, troubled sleep.

Later that day, Tobias sat up in bed and glanced at the clock to find that he had slept until two in the afternoon.

//Holy fuck, I'm tired.//

When he remembered why, he shot up out of bed and hit the ground running. A quick glance in Chris' room revealed that he still wasn't home and his bed hadn't been slept in. He ran back to his room and dug out his cell phone.

Two hours of frantic calls later, Chris came weaving through the front door. Tobias stared at him, unable to speak, and watched helplessly as he stumbled slowly toward his room to close the door behind him.

//Oh no the *fuck* he didn't!//

Tobias got up and stormed into his room, anger and frustration at levels he had never before experienced.

"You mind telling me where the *fuck* you've been all night? I'll be home at three, if you're still up we can talk then.' Or were you meaning three this *fucking afternoon?*"

He knew he was yelling, but he didn't care.

"What the fuck you care for? I ain't yer wife. You don't give two shits about me, so please. My head hurts. Wouldja close the door on yer way out?"

"I don't give two shits about you? Then why was I sitting up waiting for you? Why was I still awake at five-forty-five in the fucking a.m? I was scared to death that you wrecked that fucking bike on your way home! I just spend the last two hours calling every emergency room and jail in three counties!"

Tobias drew a deep breath and suppressed the tears he felt burning behind his eyes, then continued. His temper was flaring hotter than it had just moments before.


Chest heaving with pain and righteous indignation, Tobias turned on his heel and walked out, finally allowing his tears to fall. Tobias slammed the door in his wake, praying to all that was holy that it would split his head wide open with pain.

//Fucking inconsiderate cocksucker.//

Chris sat on his bed, Toby's words still echoing through the small room.

//Goddamn, but he was pissed. Didn't think he'd really even notice I didn't come home until I walked in the door.//

Chris laughed out loud.

"Well, guess he did."

Spoken to the empty room, Chris smiled as he thought about his little tantrum.

//Just goes to show that he really does care.//

Chris laid down smiling to himself. //No need to go apologize now. Let him stew for awhile then apologize after I get up.// He didn't have to work on Sundays so he had plenty of time yet. He curled up and drifted off to sleep with a smile touching his lips.


Tobias stomped into the front room and threw himself down on the love seat to wait for Chris to come out and defend himself. After a few minutes passed, he realized he wasn't going to.

//Oh but that's the last straw, Buddy.//

Tobias got up and went right back to his room to have another go at it but stopped short when he found Chris lying there in his bed, fully dressed and sound asleep. Tobias felt all of the steam go out of his sails.


He walked over to Chris intent on making him more comfortable.

//Man, you owe me big for this.//

Tobias paused briefly.

//Better yet, maybe I should leave him. Let him wake up with his jeans cutting him in two and his balls crammed up his ass. Would serve you right, you asshole.//

Toby winced at the thought of the pain sleeping in one's jeans could inflict on said crotch.

//Fuck it.//

He leaned over Chris' prone form and starting with his shoes, he worked his way backward. Jeans, jacket, then he leaned in to remove his shirt when he heard Chris mumble something. Tobias leaned in closer to hear him and got captured by one of his powerful arms and hauled into bed next to him.


The only way to get loose was to wake him, and he didn't want to do that so he relaxed against him, intent on waiting him out. He would eventually turn over or move far enough away for him to get free of his grip. Chris mumbled something else in his ear that he couldn't quite make out.


Chris' hot breath and the deep rumble of his voice as he whispered the unintelligible words shot a hot blow straight to his groan. That feeling, the warmth flooding through his body brought back a disturbing memory.

//Did he really kiss me or was that just a dream? Holy Mary Mother of God, please let it be a dream.//

Tobias felt the heat start to throb in his groin.

//Now where the hell did that come from? Surely you aren't attracted to Chris? You're not a fag!//

His line of thought was abandoned as Toby felt Chris pull him closer and could feel the weight of Chris' erection through his jeans. Tobias blushed, again.

//That can't be for me. He must be dreaming about one of the girls from the bar.//

Tobias closed his eyes and forced the unsettling thoughts down, gave himself up to the warmth, and drifted off to sleep. He promised himself that they would get into this when they got up.


Chris awoke with a start. What was that noise?

//Musta been the hot water heater or somethin' kickin' on.//

He looked down at the golden haired angel he held in his arms and felt a smile twitch at the corner of his lips as he thought about the fit he had thrown about him getting home *very* late. He had been inconsiderate, true, but he was hurt. He leaned in and kissed Toby softly at first, exploring, tasting, testing, then gradually increasing the pressure until he kissed him back. Chris felt the growl in the back of Toby's throat as he leaned into his kiss and returned it with fervor.

//My baby's awake and wantin' me.//


//Ooooohhhh, but that feels soooo good.//

Tobias felt himself floating up on a cloud toward Heaven. The lips on his were demanding, gentle, sweet and hot. Tobias felt himself responding to...... Chris?! He bolted upright in bed.

"Holy fuck!"

Chris looked at him, eyes too bright from passion and panting, hard. To Toby's complete surprise, so was he.

"What's wrong?"

"You were kissing me! Man, you're dangerous when you dream!"

Tobias got up and tried to hide the obvious reaction he'd had to the kiss.

//Wow! Molten lava couldn't have been hotter. Snap out of it Tobias! You were kissing a *man*!//

He rose and walked into the kitchen still trying to shake off the lingering effects of the kiss. Tobias started gathering the essentials to make breakfast, maybe that would give him time to get clear of the feelings that were plaguing his body and his mind.

Tobias unpacked the dishes he had purchased last night and sifted through the contents in the fridge. He started pulling out the ingredients to make an omelet. By the time he had finished, he had managed to recover himself somewhat.


//What in the hell was that about? Kiss me like a $500 whore then take off like your pants are on fire?//

Chris sat on the edge of his bed holding his head in his hands trying desperately to remember what exactly had happened that first night at his parents' house. Did they really do anything, or had he been too drunk? From the skittishness he had just witnessed he was having some serious doubts that they had.

//Awww, fuck! If they didn't. *Shit.* He must think that I'm a fuckin' wacko or somethin'.//

Chris swallowed hard and frantically searched his mind for what to say when he finally faced him again.


Tobias pushed the door open more gently than he had the first time and peeped inside. Chris was sitting on the edge of his bed holding his head in his hands massaging his temples. He looked so forlorn, so broken; he felt his heart wrench in his chest. He must have been just as upset about the kiss as he was.

//I won't bring it up if you don't. But there's still a little matter of leaving me hanging to contend with....//



He jumped when he heard Toby's voice from the door. He hadn't heard it open. Chris turned his red-rimmed eyes to Toby, begging him silently for forgiveness. His heart swelled when he saw the answer he was looking for already in Toby's eyes.

//Yer truly a lucky man, Chris. Yer stupidity and arrogance almost fucked up somethin' good.//


Chris almost fainted. He was holding two plates in his hands.

"For me?"

His girlfriends had never cooked for him. Then again, maybe that was part of the problem. He gratefully accepted the plate that he offered.

"Jeez, Tobe. I hope you don't plan on movin' out anytime soon."


Tobias smiled at him. How many different variations of his name was he going to come up with? He watched as Chris ate hungrily.

"There's more in the kitchen if you're still hungry."

"Sweetheart, I'm starved."

Chris was so intent on the food that he missed the involuntary shudder that wracked Tobias at the endearment. Tobias knew he didn't mean anything by it. It was as natural as breathing for him so he just needed to adjust to it. He sat there and studied Chris intently while he ate. He didn't appear to be much older than 25 or so. His curiosity got the best of him, so he ventured forth and asked.

"How old are you?"

Chris looked up at him. Shock evident.

"20. You?"

"20? I thought you were at least 25."

"That's the prison time. Spent 3 years at Lardner for assaulting a cop."



Surprise registered on his face, but he found no fear there. That was good. Chris waited for a moment to see if he was going to answer his question before he asked again. After a few moments of silence he asked again.


"Oh. 18. I'm starting college this fall."

"Oh yeah? What for?"


Chris nodded thoughtfully. His own personal lawyer. Could come in handy.



Tobias blinked at him. That was always a painful question. He lowered his head and answered quietly.

"No. Never. Girls don't like nerds."

"You're not a nerd!"

The force behind his words startled even Chris, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

Tobias blinked back tears. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, but alas, the female population has spoken."


"Bitches must be blind."

Chris shook his head sadly then reached over and took Toby's glasses off and rumpled his hair slightly to get rid of the slicked back look. The effect was dramatic. Chris felt the answering jerk in his underwear.

"Nah. Never mind. I'd be way too jealous. Put em back on."

He handed the glasses back to Toby and watched as he blushed, yet again. He couldn't help but wonder how far down the blush went.


Chris almost groaned at the image that created, effectively giving away the state he was in.


"Sorry. If I get on your nerves with that, tell me. I'll try to stop."

Tobias smiled weakly at him. "It's as natural as breathing for you. I don't think you could stop even if I did ask, so don't sweat it, okay? I'll get used to it."

They finished eating in silence. Chris rose to go after seconds and left Toby sitting in his room alone. He needed to get away from him before he kissed him again. He sat down on the love seat with three more links of sausage and another omelet.

//God, but Beech can cook. Beech? Where'd that come from? He's eventually gonna get bent at yer butcherin' his name. You know this, right?//


"In here." He watched as Toby walked over and sat next to him. This had merit; he was almost sitting in his lap he was so close.

//Ohhhh hell. Toooo close.//

Chris stood abruptly and headed into the kitchen.

"Guess the only things we really need is a TV and a kitchen table, huh Beech?"

Tobias couldn't help but smile. Another nickname.

"Yeah. We could get one, but we'd have to get someone to deliver it. I got the money."

"I don't want you shellin' out for everything, Beech. This is s'posed to be a partnership here."

"You got the furniture, Chris. That was the most expensive thing that we needed. Let me help out?"

Chris turned and walked into his room without a word. Tobias stared at the spot he had previously occupied. //Shit. He's too damn hard to read.// Tobias stood to take his plate to the kitchen and found Chris waiting for him when he returned.


Momentarily taken aback, Toby stared at him then found his voice.

"Lemme get some shoes on." A few minutes later he picked up his helmet then walked to the door to hold it open for him.

"That's my job, Baby." Chris drawled as he reached over Toby to hold the door for him. He blushed, again. Chris grinned wickedly.



Tobias was still blushing when he put the helmet on. He could feel the sweat pooling on his brow, dripping down into his eyes. He was going to have to get used to Chris calling him pet names. Even the embarrassing ones. So long as he didn't do it in front of people.

Chris hopped on, behind him.

//Holy shit! Oh fuck!//

Tobias could feel the heat from Chris' groin burning into his ass.


Chris leaned in, pressing the full length of his rock hard chest against Toby's back, scorching his skin.

//Get a *grip* Tobias!//


"I'm gonna let you see what it feels like to fly." Chris whispered into Toby's ear, knowing that he couldn't hear him through the helmet over the roar of the engine. Chris revved the engine then pulled off.

Toby was about four inches shorter than he was, but the helmet added to his height so he had to lean his head against the right side of it to see where he was going, forcing him to lean in closer, inhaling Toby's deep musky scent. Chris had to fight himself to keep his attention on the ride as he felt the heat spreading through him from the point where his thighs touched Beech's backside and continued down his legs until the contact point was broken. His body was *humming.* Chris closed his eyes for a moment and tried to will it away. He couldn't.

//Man, you are so *totally* fucked.//

He knew Toby would never bend enough to let anything happen. This much he was sure of. He was so rigidly homophobic that nothing would ever happen. The knowledge brought tears to his eyes. The wind kept them from falling down his cheeks. Instead, it but blew them back into his ear. Chris had to get a grip on himself before they got to the store. He couldn't let Beech see him like this. He was already so spooked he almost jumped out of his skin when he slid in behind him on the bike.


Toby impatiently signaled to Chris that the exit they wanted was coming up. He followed the directions Toby gave him from there until they pulled up in front of a warehouse of sorts and stopped. Chris took the opportunity to wipe away the last traces of tears from his face while Toby was struggling with his helmet. He hopped off the back and started toward the store. Beech caught up with him easily. Chris looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Where was the.... helmet?

"Where's the helmet?"

"I left it on the back of the bike."

"You what?" Chris spun on his heel and ran back to the bike to get it. He returned walking a bit slower. "I'll carry it."

"What's the big deal? If someone takes it we can go get another one."

Chris turned and snapped at him before he could stop himself. "Well, you might have two hundred dollars to flush down the shitter, but I sure as fuck don't! I'll carry the goddamned thing myself!"

Tobias felt the tears sting his eyes and roll down his cheek. He was acting like such a baby, crying at the drop of a hat.

//Just like a..... girl.//

The tears that Chris saw fall acted like acid eating away at his soul.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I didn't mean it." He bought his hand up to caress Toby's cheek, to wipe away the tears, lingering for emphasis. "It's just that to me, two hundred dollars is a lot of money. It's almost a half a week's pay, Tobe."

Tobias swallowed the tears and forced a smile. "I'm sorry. I had no idea that it cost so much or I never would have left it. Two hundred is a lot of money to me too."

Chris put his arm around Toby and walked him into the store. He didn't pull away, amazingly enough, even after they were inside. It must have looked *normal* enough not to worry anyone. Chris chastised himself for being such a cynical bastard. He was just a kid after all. His 18 to Chris' 20 was more like him being 15 to his 40. There was a world of difference between them that spanned more than years, but Chris was going to do his best to make a go of it.

Continued in Part 5

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