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Weeks | How-To | Counter Culture | Top 10s | Jumprope | Direct Hits | Peepshow

How to Build A Fort That Girls Will Visit
Girls don't hate forts, they just hate your fort.

Nothing in life beats the comfort and feel of a good fort. Whether it's in a local motel, your company conference room, grandma's house or even your own bedroom, a fort provides a brief yet exciting getaway from the troubles of the day.

However, since the beginning of time when cavemen built forts out of rocks and animal hides, guys have encountered the same problem -- girls just won't visit them when they're in their forts. Because of this, many guys throughout the ages have abandoned the fine art of fort making.

However, recent studies have proven that many girls will actually visit forts, but only if they are properly made. Here are a few important things to remember when you make your next fort. If you follow them all, you can expect a visit from the opposite sex very soon.

Tip 1: Make your fort's walls out of clean sofa cushions

A key mistake that many guys make is to build their forts out of dirty sofa cushions. Remember that once you put the blankets on top, sofa cushion odors will have nowhere to go.

Tip 2: Cover your fort with sheets and not blankets

Blankets will make your fort both hot and dark. Even though this may seem like the perfect environment for the desired physical expression of 'making out', women generally appreciate the light, airy d�cor of a sheet-covered fort.

Tip 3: Don't keep your action figures in your fort

Action figures are a great way to show off your individuality and loyalty to an animated cartoon or illustrated picture book in cubicles, bedrooms and gym lockers. However girls tend to think they're creepy... especially in the dark confines of a blanket covered fort.

Tip 4: Lock the bedroom door

Otherwise your stupid little brother will run in and jump on the fort while you're both inside. (This becomes especially painful when he reaches his late 20s.)

Tip 5: Let her pick the music

The hard rocking angst of Dokken and Poison are great for those alone times in your fort, but girls like tunes that are a little more soothing when they are stuffed into small confined spaces.

Tip 6: Disarm the traps

Protecting your fort is important. But when you know that a girl is coming over, disarm them before she arrives and you'll avoid messy legal action.

Tip 7: Hold off on the flatulence

Although flatulence is a common tension breaker in most fort communities, many girls find it distasteful.

Now, go build your fort... the girls will arrive shortly.

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