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  • The Creative Person and Human Nature - October 16, 2000
    Because people want something for nothing. I'm a person and deep in my little animal soul I want something for nothing. The cost of music and software recordings will plummet.
  • Where Do Unsaid Words Go? - September 06, 2000
    Often the process fails. The clever remark is never said, the book remains unpublished, the speech is never given.
  • Eat Flaming Radioactive Death! - June 15, 2000
    Since we firmly believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I would like to suggest that your company produce a breakfast cereal called Flaming Radioactive Death
  • The show's over... - May 12, 2000
    I begin to comprehend all those songs about how lonely the entertainer's life really is
  • It Was Thirty Years Ago Today - July 16, 1999
    In the entire city of Pittsburgh, there was no bigger space enthusiast than me.
  • Voices From the Hellmouth - April 27, 1999
    In the days after the Littleton, Colorado massacre, the country went on a panicked hunt the oddballs in High School, a profoundly ignorant and unthinking response to a tragedy that left geeks, nerds, non-conformists and the alienated in an even worse situ
  • Thirty-Fifth Orc From The Left - January 29, 1999
    Pretty simple, really. You need to be where the movie is being made, and be a professional.


  • Spinning in his grave - October 16, 2000
    There's nothing novel or original in any of these places. Nothing that would reflect well on a road named for a design genius.
  • Oops. My oops. - January 13, 2000
    No wonder I'm not geting any mail...
  • and THEN we will EXPERIMENT - January 12, 2000
    It's an experiment, based on the concept that significance is transitory. In other words: What is important today may not matter a month from now.
  • Quote Of the Day - October 06, 1999
    Interesting thing, the War Against Drugs. The drugs seem to have won. - Terry Pratchett
  • This is a test. - September 08, 1999
    There's new stuff behind the scenes making AWC even more interactive and easier to use.
  • Procedure to Follow in the Event That Building 245 is Attacked by Vikings - July 20, 1999
    The NASA Ames Barbarian Affairs Office has established the following procedures for defense against Viking raids
  • What I Learned At PERL Camp... - May 05, 1999
    It doesn't look like much of a change, but the entire site just reorganized
  • let's get small - April 28, 1999
    I've been a registered voter now for twenty years, and no political candidate has ever run on a sensible platform in all that time
  • The Cause Of It All - April 28, 1999
    In situations like this, I always wonder: Where were the parents when all this was going down?
  • The Education Gap - April 27, 1999
    It's turned into an Education Gap
  • Force Yourself - January 26, 1999
    Four months to go until the Star Wars cat is let out of Lucasfilm's bag, and the fanboys have been rolling in the catnip.
  • Meet Seanan - January 16, 1999
    There's this crazy woman in my life.
  • Huh? Alien Wine? - January 13, 1999
    Good writing, good art, and yes, food and beverage as well.

the Weblog

A Phouka Walks Into A Bar

  • Adventures In Babysitting: Cuteness Kills. - June 04, 2001
    Babies actually survive because they have Mysterious Alien Powers. Namely, they can eat your brain.
  • Stimulation! Part II - January 22, 2001
    I realize that this was not originally announced as a two-part column: however...
  • Stimulation! - January 15, 2001
    So here we go: my answers to your questions, which have been left unattributed to protect the guilty
  • And Everything In Its Place - January 08, 2001
    In a normal state of things, my living space looks as if it was redecorated by a tornado with a particularly well-developed sense of the absurd
  • This Was The Year That Was - January 01, 2001
    Well, the New Year has come and gone, and we didn't all die in a huge ball of cosmic fire
  • Angry Food - June 13, 2000
    In some cultures, eating things that are already dead is a major faux pas.
  • Slowly, She Turned - March 29, 2000
    Maybe she didn't do the sacred woo-woo dance...
  • Naughty Santa's Black Market - December 10, 1999
    Yesterday, I was a Naughty Santa. How many people can say that?
  • Welcome To The Motel California - September 20, 1999
    I was there to help Rebecca move. And for some bizarre reason, she actually wanted to go through with it
  • The Blair Wedding Project - August 02, 1999
    The horse trail was narrow. The horse trail was winding. The horse trail wound its narrow little way happily into the woods of Golden Gate Park
  • Where Everybody Knows Your Name - July 26, 1999
    When they finally announced that our jobs would cease to exist at the end of July, we had all pretty much figured it out.
  • High-Concept Humor - February 22, 1999
    Recently -- and don't think I don't know who's responsible for this heinous crime* -- my grandmother managed to come into possession of a large number of copies of this column
  • Coming Soon To A Theatre Near You! - February 15, 1999
    Derry theatre goers were stunned into silence today by the unseasonable opening of this year's most uneasily regarded musical event
  • Me, Mythology and the Mouse - February 08, 1999
    As pretty much everyone that's ever met me is probably aware, I suffer from a severe Disney addiction
  • The Gigi Report - February 01, 1999
    Yes, Virginia, there is a Gigi. And no, that isn't her real name
  • Persona Non Corpora - January 25, 1999
    There are people living in my head. They hold loud, raucous parties in the middle of the night
  • If I Could Talk To The Animals... - January 18, 1999
    Fandom is where the weird people go when they want to seem like the normal ones
  • Somnambulistic Concubine - January 11, 1999
    for several years, it seemed as though I could be a Professional Sleeping Person
  • Rummage Sales and Rutabagas - January 04, 1999
    Post-Christmas sales --- let me hear you say AMEN!, brothers and sisters!
  • We're Gonna Party Like It's...Stop That. - December 28, 1998
    All deep philosophy aside, we're still here. Break out the cakes and the cider!
  • Sleighbells Ring -- Got Any Earplugs? - December 21, 1998
    The man that invented 'the Christmas season' should be drug out into the street and shot
  • Booking It - December 14, 1998
    I didn't notice at first that the books were taking over my life -- I thought that it was just a hobby
  • Thank You For Calling - December 07, 1998
    I got a job in the computer industry. That's right. I'm Product Support.
  • The Turkey Isn't Very Thankful - November 30, 1998
    The itch started out small. 'Maybe I should bake a pie.'
  • Musical Accompaniment - November 23, 1998
    It frightens me sometimes, how easy it is to summon the insane
  • Bring Me The Head of Sailor Moon - November 16, 1998
    Anime, contrary to popular belief, is not just a catch-all title for cartoons featuring big-eyed girls with enormous breasts
  • Moving On Up - November 09, 1998
    Except for the countless repairs, the repainting, the reorganization of possessions and the twenty-year mortgage, we now own our house.
  • Reality and the Realtor - November 02, 1998
    This didn't actually prepare us for the terror that is home ownership -- nothing can do that.
  • Stimulus, Response - October 26, 1998
    Yes, that's right, some of the people who recieve this little jaunt into the unknown (and blessedly unknowable) nether corners of my mind have actually taken the time to write me back
  • I Am Spock. Get In The Car. - October 20, 1998
    All of this is meant to lead neatly up to one of my dirty little habits: I help organize science fiction conventions.
  • The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round - September 13, 1998
    There are days when it's almost enough to make me want to get a car
Also In AWC
Alien Wine Home

The Creative Person and Human Nature
Where Do Unsaid Words Go?
Eat Flaming Radioactive Death!
The show's over...
It Was Thirty Years Ago Today

Spinning in his grave
Oops. My oops.
Quote Of the Day
This is a test.

the Weblog
An Actor's Take on Cast Away
The Theory of Relativity In Words Of Four Letters Or Less
The Truth, The Horrible Truth, About The Lives of Writers
Fake Memo about Superman's Vision

A Phouka Walks Into A Bar
Adventures In Babysitting: Cuteness Kills.
Stimulation! Part II
And Everything In Its Place
This Was The Year That Was

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