|On March 5, 2001, the Lone Gunmen
paid a visit to Zealot.com.
All right, they weren't REALLY
the Lone Gunmen, but they were the actors who
play them. Bruce Harwood ("Byers"), Tom Braidwood
("Frohike"), and Dean Haglund ("Langly")
spoke to us on the phone for nearly an hour, fielding
questions from a chatroom full of fans about their
new show, their work on The X-Files, Dean's
stand-up career, 1970s TV, and a lot more.
And if you've ever wondered
about it, the guys are funny, friendly, and nice. I've
met my share of TV actors, and some of them go out of
their way to be snotty; but even after spending the
last month making the rounds on the interview and chat
circuit, the Gunmen were terrific.
Let's get to the transcript.
Oh, and if you're wondering: "Shane"
is Shane Ivey, Zealot.com editor (that's me), and "Joe"
is Joe Crowe, Zealot.com co-founder and editor emeritus.
I'll start us off... A viewer named Erynn in Seattle...
Dean: Ah, Poet-Terrorist
for a Better Society!
Joe: Exactly. She wants
to know how you did with the quake out there,
and if you were working at the time it happened.
Bruce: I never noticed
a thing. I didn't find out about it 'til I got to the
set. I think they all told me they were working in an
old building down in Vancouver near Gastown, and they
said they could feel the building swaying.
Dean: I was, uh... This
is Dean talking, now...
Dean: I was in one of
the production trailers, and I guess it was on shock
absorbers because I was on the phone to someone who
WAS experiencing the earthquake and I said I couldn't
Tom: I was on the street
and I didn't feel a thing on the pavement. But we didn't
get hit like Seattle did.
Joe: Ah, good, good....
Okay... Shane, how we doing over there?
Shane: Just great...
I'm sending the announcement right now, and we're going
to start fielding questions from the audience.
Joe: Okay. We're about
to start fielding questions from The People.
Shane: All right... All
right, guys, question #1 is from ImADharmaBum@aol.com...
Shane: ...and he wants
to know, if you guys could be a tree, who would you
like to fall on the most?
Dean: Wow... It takes
two hours to warm up to these good questions!
Bruce: Who would I like
to fall on the most...
Dean: Who would I like
to fall on, if I were a tree?
Bruce: Hmm... That is...
Joe: All right, that's
Tom: Hmm... Boy.
Dean: Tom, you take this
Tom: Hey, hey, hey!
Tom: I'm thinkin'.
Dean: I'm thinking I
would like to fall on an obscure corporate executive...
who is somehow the lynchpin unknowingly to the worldwide
corporate mess. I don't know who that person is, and
THAT person doesn't know who he is, but I'd like to
be that oak tree that comes down on him.
Bruce: That sounds like
Joe: Somebody start writin'!
Tom: I honestly don't