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The Lone Gunmen
Live at
On March 5, 2001, the Lone Gunmen paid a visit to

All right, they weren't REALLY the Lone Gunmen, but they were the actors who play them. Bruce Harwood ("Byers"), Tom Braidwood ("Frohike"), and Dean Haglund ("Langly") spoke to us on the phone for nearly an hour, fielding questions from a chatroom full of fans about their new show, their work on The X-Files, Dean's stand-up career, 1970s TV, and a lot more.

And if you've ever wondered about it, the guys are funny, friendly, and nice. I've met my share of TV actors, and some of them go out of their way to be snotty; but even after spending the last month making the rounds on the interview and chat circuit, the Gunmen were terrific.

Let's get to the transcript.

Oh, and if you're wondering: "Shane" is Shane Ivey, editor (that's me), and "Joe" is Joe Crowe, co-founder and editor emeritus.

Shane Ivey

Joe: I'll start us off... A viewer named Erynn in Seattle...

Dean: Ah, Poet-Terrorist for a Better Society!

Joe: Exactly. She wants to know how you did with the quake out there, and if you were working at the time it happened.

Dean: Wow.

Bruce: I never noticed a thing. I didn't find out about it 'til I got to the set. I think they all told me they were working in an old building down in Vancouver near Gastown, and they said they could feel the building swaying.

Dean: I was, uh... This is Dean talking, now...

Joe: Okay.

Dean: I was in one of the production trailers, and I guess it was on shock absorbers because I was on the phone to someone who WAS experiencing the earthquake and I said I couldn't feel anything.

Tom: I was on the street and I didn't feel a thing on the pavement. But we didn't get hit like Seattle did.

Joe: Ah, good, good.... Okay... Shane, how we doing over there?

Shane: Just great... I'm sending the announcement right now, and we're going to start fielding questions from the audience.

Joe: Okay. We're about to start fielding questions from The People.

Gunmen: [laughter]

Shane: All right... All right, guys, question #1 is from

Gunmen: [laughter]

Shane: ...and he wants to know, if you guys could be a tree, who would you like to fall on the most?

Gunmen: [laughter]

Dean: Wow... It takes two hours to warm up to these good questions!

Joe: [laughter]

Bruce: Who would I like to fall on the most...

Dean: Who would I like to fall on, if I were a tree?

Bruce: Hmm... That is... Donald Trump.

Joe: All right, that's one.

Tom: Hmm... Boy.

Dean: Tom, you take this one.

Tom: Hey, hey, hey!

Dean: [laughter]

Tom: I'm thinkin'.

Dean: I'm thinking I would like to fall on an obscure corporate executive... who is somehow the lynchpin unknowingly to the worldwide corporate mess. I don't know who that person is, and THAT person doesn't know who he is, but I'd like to be that oak tree that comes down on him.

Bruce: That sounds like an episode.

Dean: Yeah!

Joe: Somebody start writin'!

Tom: I honestly don't know...



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