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Vote on Clippy's fate
Play Clippy's game
View XP demo
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My name is Clippy,
and Office XP has me sweating (and rusting).

Why? Because Office XP works so easily that it's made Office Assistants like me useless. Obsolete. And, I'm told, hideously unattractive.

They even cut my pay, despite the fact that I work for free!

I've taken over this space to share my pathetic story and show off my skills as a Web designer. Not bad, huh? Know anyone who's hiring?

For years I've told you what to do. Now it's your turn. What should I do with all my newfound spare time? Vote at this online poll. (Note: Dimpled chads will not be counted. So make sure you press the computer screen firmly.)

And another thing: Out of sorrow can come great art—and some rocking blues. Judge for yourself by downloading my new song, "It Looks Like You're Writing a Letter," a demo I recorded in the Microsoft supply cabinet.

I'll be updating this site with new material—games, videos, tortured rants—over the next few weeks. (Yes, I use XML. Duh!) Make sure to come back. After all my years of service, don't you owe it to me?

See you around the supply room.

Clippy's TO DO List
· Send out résumé
· Figure out my dot-net strategy
· Sign up for yoga class
· Get references from Gates, Ballmer, Mom
· Finish "Chicken Soup for the Paper Clip Soul," and buy some new books
· Help people write letters
· Help people copy worksheet data to databases
· Help people fix the carburetors on their '74 Dodge Darts


Featuring the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

I, Clippit, known to all as "Clippy," am a movie star! (Did you know that most award winners got their starts in Flash animations?) The episodes on this site show the effects of Office XP on a humble paper clip like me. It isn't pretty.

Discover the reasons why upgrading to Office XP ("Ex-Paperclip") will help you and hurt me.

View the Office XP Auto Demo to find out why I'm looking for part-time work. Know anyone who's hiring?

Go ahead, order Office XP, see if I care.

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