Moses, Jesus and a little old man were out playing golf one day.
Moses teed up his golf ball, took a swing and watched the ball fly. It hit the side of the hill where the green was located, and rolled back down into a water hazard.
Moses went over and raised his arms. The water parted, he walked over, picked up the golf ball and tossed it onto the green.
Jesus teed up his ball, took a swing and watched the ball fly. It, too, hit the side of the hill where the green was located and rolled back down into the water hazard.
Jesus walked out onto the water hazard, reached into the water, picked up his golf ball and tossed it onto the green.
The little old man teed up his golf ball, took a swing and watched the ball fly. It hit the side of the hill and started rolling toward the water hazard, but before the ball hit the water, a rabbit ran out of its hole and started running away with the ball. An eagle swooped down, grabbed the rabbit still holding the golf ball and started to fly away. A bolt of lightning came down out of the sky, hit the eagle which dropped the rabbit. As the rabbit hit the ground, it dropped the golf ball and ran back into its hole. The golf ball rolled into the cup for a hole-in-one.
Jesus turned to the little old man and said, "Nice shot, dad."
The Presidential Version of the TITANIC:
Presidents Ford, Reagan, Carter, Nixon and Clinton were on a ship that hit an iceberg.
Ford screamed, "What should we do?."
Reagan said, "Man the lifeboats."
Carter said, "Women and children first."
Nixon said, "Screw the women and children."
Clinton said, "Do you think we have time?"
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
What's that telling you ?