"What If Linus Torvalds Gets Hit By A Bus?" - An Empirical Study
The question on the lips of everyone in the Linux community is, "What
if Linus Torvalds (affectionately known to the trade press as 'Linux
Torvalds') gets hit by a bus?" Reams of virtual paper have been wasted
on idle speculation about the results of what is a fairly simple
experiment. We decided it was high time someone actually took the
trouble to find out what would happen if Linus Torvalds were to get
hit by a bus. Our preliminary findings are printed below; we hope that
this study will eventually be published in peer-reviewed Linux
publications such as Linux Journal and Slashdot. Well, Linux Journal.
Our sample consisted of 200 Linus Torvaldses separated into a test
group of 100 and a control group of 100. 97 members of the test group
were hit by buses at speeds ranging from 5 MPH to 70 MPH. The other
three test subjects ran into stationary buses on their own power. A
different bus was used for each trial so as to ensure that the trials
would be independent.
The control group was observed over a period of six months, in which
none of the subjects was hit by a bus.
Only nine members of the test group survived; two of these were
seriously injured. All survivors had been assigned to the lower end of
the velocity scale, as can be seen in Figure 1.
|Figure 1: Survival rate versus bus velocity|
No fatalities were reported in the control group. One member choked on
a muffin during the second week, but recovered after an application of
the Heimlich maneuver. No buses were present during the incident.
Conclusions and Recommendations:
Our study's bottom line: given standard traffic patterns, Linus
Torvalds has an 8.9% (plus or minus 1.4%) chance of surviving and
fully recovering from a collision with a bus. Due to Torvalds'
development skills and acknowledged importance to the Linux community,
we hereby recommend that Linus Torvalds be kept out of the path of
oncoming buses. Also, his muffin intake should be monitored.
Linux kernel development was not significantly affected by our
experiment; however, we attribute this to the large sample size used.
We plan to do similar tests to determine the effects of buses on
Miguel de Icaza, Larry Wall, and Eric S. Raymond. Our confident
prediction is that we will obtain similar results.
Instructions on getting hit by a bus will soon be posted to our
project Web site, so that the average developer will be able to gauge
his or her importance to the Open Source community.
Posted on Wed 23 Feb 08:45:54 2000 PST
Written by Leonard Richardson <firstname.lastname@example.org> [ Author Info ]