Are you a 15-year-old TRL addict looking for a step up from Sum 41 and American Hi-Fi? Something you can connect to on an emotional level that won't sacrifice that mindless accessibility you've been force-fed all your life? You liked the new Weezer album, didn't you? Well, this is like that, but better! Never will Jimmy Eat World venture into "too much information" territory like that Rivers what's-his-name and his "Hash Pipe." You want love, happiness and "whoa's." You want to cruise around the housing development with the windows down, doing donuts in the cul-de-sac with your newly obtained permit, blasting music so empty and sincere even you could have written it.

You're getting to the age now when you're bored a lot. You're angry. You're frustrated with it all. All of it! You hate it! You hate this life, you hate your friends, you hate yourself. Why can't it just be fun, like when you were a kid? Something needs to speak to you, but not speak really hard or anything like that. After all, you weren't put on this earth to think! Well, Jimmy Eat World are there for you. They don't think, either!

These guys are the best friends you can imagine. They know what you're going through, and they care. They care like a million hearts wrapped up inside a teddy bear holding a bouquet of understanding in one hand and an undying torch of reassurance in the other. They keep the flame of rock alive while giving you advice about the most important thing in your world: yourself.

Their new album, Bleed American, is the best at that. Lead singer Jim Adkins reels off lyric after insightful lyric, facing you with tough questions like, "Are you gonna live your life wonderin' standing in the back lookin' around?" and "Are you gonna waste your time thinkin' how you've grown up or how you missed out?" Serious words, my friend. You better consider what this guy is saying, 'cause you "gotta make a move or you'll miss out." He's right! If you don't make a move, whatever that might be, you'll miss out on whatever you might miss out on, and that could be anything! You don't want to miss out, do you? This is a limited time offer! Act now!

The best thing about Bleed American is that all of the songs sing directly to you. These guys don't fuck around with any of that storytelling, third-person bullshit. You are misunderstood, goddamnit, and when your friends aren't there for you, Jimmy Adkins always will be, rockin' out while lifting your self-esteem: "Hey, don't write yourself off yet," he sings on "The Middle." "It's only in your head, you feel left out or looked down on/ Just try your best/ Try everything you can/ And don't you worry what they tell themselves/ When you're away." I'm seriously gonna cry! That really hits home.

And the music. Whoa. Don't even get me started! These songs will never test you or judge you. Every song is as straight-on as you can get, filled with the power of distorted, chugging guitars, pummeling 4/4 drums, and bass playing so precise it could be programmed. There are no fancy production tricks or effects, just four chords of awesome pop music. Plus, their acronym is JEW. That's funny!

But Jimmy Eat World don't rock all the way through Bleed American. They know exactly when to slow it down for that heart-wrenching, sentimental ballad: track six! "Hear You Me" is the song you'll cry yourself to sleep when you get a B+ on your science paper, or your girlfriend tells you she "needs some space." The song is really about the death of a friend, so it will help the tears come when you need them most. Adkins quietly intones the saddest words ever put to paper: "And if you were with me tonight/ I'd sing to you just one more time/ A song for a heart so big/ God wouldn't let it live." Now I really am gonna cry!

Yes, it's definitely time to grow up. Rites of passage are coming, if they haven't already-- sex, heartbreak, the loss of everything you own in a housefire, birth defects, and genocide... or at least things that seem that big! So do the best you can, listen to your favorite band, bury your head in the sand, before it all begins again. Hey, I just wrote a Jimmy Eat World song!

-Ryan Schreiber