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Friday, January 18, 2002

 
A Jughead Solo Album

According to this article from yesterday's New York Post, Lou Pearlman, the man behind O-Town and *NSYNC, wants to put together a band based on characters from Josie and the Pussycats and Archie comics. Does he think it's 1969? Our real bands are barely real today — why would we want a fake real band? Here are the two sickest parts of the article:

1) "And [Pearlman] notes that characters who look like the comic book faces will be given the most attention." I hope he means medical attention. I hate to think there's some red-headed kid with a tic-tac-toe pattern burned into his head out there.

2) "The bands look to take advantage of more than 1 million readers per month for the popular comics." Oh my god! I hope that's a different million people every month! Who reads "Archie" every month? Even pre-teens or tweens can't possibly enjoy that much Betty and Veronica. It's twisted if they do!

I kind of hope these bands do come together, though. I was the keyboard tech for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I'd really love to be back on the road with those guys. Especially now that they're all in the program.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 10:08 AM


Thursday, January 17, 2002

 
John Miller: Network Studboy

Just watching "The View." They've been talking about John Miller, Barbara Walter's new "20/20" partner, for like two hours. I don't get all the hype about this guy. I've read a million things about it, and ABC is promoting him like crazy. Now doesn't the anchor just introduce stories? Does anyone care who does it?
I think John Miller is best known here in New York for being a reporter who thought he was a cop. A quick search turns up a January 11, 1992 Newsday report that has a cop being dragged by a stolen car. The last line of the story? "WNBC reporter John Miller, on his way to a story in the Bronx, helped handcuff William, police said."
Miller also carried (carries?) a gun. Newsday summed him up in 1991 with this headline: "Journalist John Miller wears $2,000 suits with Hermes ties and smokes $ 10 cigars. He carries a concealed weapon and a $ 1 million contract." He's really more of a movie character than a real person. But if he's good enough for Barbara Walters, I guess he's good enough for me. But I think the nation should know that as soon as John Miller is done introducing a story on kids from mid-West born with no eyes, he's at the window of "20/20's" Times Square studio, looking for crime.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 11:34 AM


 
They Could Make the Net Bigger

You can sum up the post-most-recent-Lindros concussion Rangers with a single play. Rangers vs. Columbus, last night. Ranger Theo Fleury has the puck. Blue Jacket goalie Marc Denis is out of the net. The score is Columbus 1, Rangers 0. Fleury shoots the puck toward the open net but doesn't have the angle. The puck slides through the crease. The puck passes open net. The puck is waving at open net. I think the puck is just so used to not going in off of Ranger sticks, it avoided the net. Maybe it's afraid now. If you can't win against one of the league's worst teams, and you can't win twice, you have problems. If you can't score on an open net, maybe you should just rethink your career choice.
I think it's fair to declare the Rangers in a free-fall. If it's January, it must be time for a Ranger breakdown.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 11:12 AM


 
They Were Here First, But We Own TV

Just checking out Yahoo's television headlines. Amazingly, as of the 8:54EST update, the top two stories (these two) are both about Native Americans. What are the odds? You never see Native Americans on TV (unless you're watching "The Lone Ranger" or "F-Troop") and here the top two stories are about them. Pretty crazy stuff...
posted by Steven Ovadia at 9:34 AM


Wednesday, January 16, 2002

 
When Spam Turns Funny

This is so funny! It's about a job hunter who spams the wrong guy, and the subsequent e-mail fights that emerge. I just spent like an hour reading through it. It's so much funnier and more complicated than I could ever explain. And the best part? I found the link on WilWheaton.Net.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 2:49 PM


 
New Pop Update Content

I know it's been a while, but there's finally new PU content here. These are haiku about defensive driving school. I recommend checking them out. Also, taking a lesson from DVDs, here are some outtakes from the defensive driving session:

Teacher is crazy.
He keeps yelling about death.
Yet speaks no English.

It's 1940.
Mike is working 18 jobs.
He earns six dollars.

Mike talks about love.
"Women sometimes get headaches.
Learn to deal with it."

Mike yells at us, too.
What is he yelling about?
Something about glass.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 12:25 PM


 
Damn Kids

I couldn't sleep last night, so I flipped on Conan O'Brien. He had on a band called The Calling. I got excited because the name sounds all indie, but it turns out they are a pretty big top 40 band. They sang their big song, "Wherever You Will Go," which they used in the trailers for that new "Star Trek" show.
The singer is so weird, too. He looks like he's maybe 15, but he has this oddly deep voice, like the guy from the Crash Test Dummies. It's very disconcerting to watch, especially late at night.
Also, at the risk of going all Casey Kasem on everyone, I thought The Calling sang this song, "Hanging by a Moment," which the NHL used in some really good commercials last year. But it's not The Calling — it's Lifehouse (listening to them on top of each other, it's sort of obvious that they're by different singers). But here's the weird thing — the guitarist for The Calling and the drummer for Lifehouse are brothers!
This one is going out to Denise and Ted in Austin. They've been dating for 3 years. Ted has this special message for Denise: "Baby. I'm sorry I slept with your brother and I'm sorry we taped it and I'm sorry your parents bought it. I love you." Coming in at number seven, this is Pink with "Get the Party Started."
posted by Steven Ovadia at 11:41 AM


Tuesday, January 15, 2002

 
Nine Out of Ten Doctors Recommend Not Going on the Weakest Link

I just had on the daily version of "Weakest Link." One of the contestants was an actual medical doctor. I would freak out if I saw my doctor — the person basically in charge of keeping me alive — on some cheesy game show. Not even the primetime version, but the daytime version! How can you look to someone for medical advice when you've seen they don't know the name of the middle Brady boy? I only want to see my medical team on "Jeopardy" and maybe "Millionaire." Anyone on "Card Sharks" or "Wheel of Fortune" is getting the boot. Especially if they lose.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 4:12 PM


 
I Promised Myself I Wasn't Going To Cry

Read this tale of Detroit Red Winger Luc Robitaille and his family, he living in the Motor City, his family living in Los Angeles. Then I challenge you not to cry as you read about his family surprising him in Detroit when he's facing his first game against his old team, the LA Kings. Who doesn't get misty when his kids come screaming down to him during the second intermission, chanting his name and running into his arms. And who can resist bawling when Robitaille scores the game winning goal? Someone should make this into a movie.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 2:29 PM


 
The First Part of Penalty is Penile

Unless I'm mistaken, New York Ranger Theo Fleury hasn't been called for a penalty in two games. That's got to be some kind of record. Maybe the NHL has finally called off their ref-jihad against the loveable forward. Too bad Eric Lindros wasn't immune to the Ranger-hating whistles. The creatively interpreted slashing call against him gave the so, so, so, so weak Columbus Blue Jackets (what is a blue jacket? I hate teams named after clothing [unless it's the Kentucky Thongs, my favorite mud-wrestling team]) the chance to tie.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 10:07 AM


Monday, January 14, 2002

 
What Does Retired Mean Again?

I just saw a big ad for "Bill Joel and Elton John: Face to Face." For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to assume this is some sort of concert. Please just tell me it's a concert, even if it's not. But didn't Billy Joel say he was retiring? Didn't he say he was done with rock and he was only going to do classical music? I'm pretty sure he said that. I remember I had dreamt about that day for so long, I was kind of shocked when he actually said it. So I guess we'll never really be rid of Billy Joel, although I never really was, since everyone within 75 miles of here (New York City) owns his Greatest Hits Volumes 1 and 2. And they have no qualms about playing it either. Monsters...
posted by Steven Ovadia at 8:53 AM


Saturday, January 12, 2002

 
The NHL on ABC...Sort Of

Nice that ABC Sports has the rights to the NHL and they only show six weekends worth of games! And that includes the All-Star game. I know they're trying to force me into buying cable, but it's not going to work! Sometimes I wish I lived in Canada. Sometimes. Until I hear a Bare Naked Ladies song. Or Rush.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 12:40 PM


Friday, January 11, 2002

 
Overheard

The place: A business database class. Me: Sitting around goofing off, eavesdropping on people. The comment I overhear: "Yeah. I really like Greg Kinnear."

I don't think any human has ever uttered those words. It's kind of like really liking orange Jello. Sure you may like it, but you don't really like it.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 5:23 PM


 
Puck Talk

Al Morganti writes on ESPN.com about how the Atlanta Thrashers, currently in last place in the NHL, need more quality players to be a good team. This is why sports can be so annoying. Does any team ever not need good players? Even if you have the best team in your sport, you're not going to stop going after good players. Morganti also hypothesizes that the Thrashers are close to becoming a respectable team because of rookies Dany Heatley and Ilya Kovalchuk. That's true, but you really can't hypothesize anything out of that. Sports isn't science. Adding a quality player doesn't neccessarily improve the quality of the whole, as the Capitals learned with Jaromir Jagr. Having a successful team one season doesn't mean the next season will be as successful, as the New Jersey Devils have learned. Adding a player that was once considered legally blind can help, as the New York Rangers learned with Bryan Berard.
But I guess these people have to write about something, so I shouldn't begrudge them that. It just seems like such a waste of time, though. One thing is for sure — the team that scores the most goals in each game will find themselves in a winning situation. GMs really need to get players that will score goals or they risk losing games. Also, goalies that can't stop the puck won't be as helpful as goalies who can stop it.
Chew on that, Morganti.
posted by Steven Ovadia at 2:56 PM


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