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F.A.Q.

A LIST OF FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Why is there a dog on this web site?
He is the Impressive Webs mascot.

Impressive Webs Mascot
Impressive Webs Mascot
Why do you constantly refer to yourself as "we" and "us" if there is only 1 employee in your company?
It makes me, er--us sound professional.

Where do babies come from?
A joining of the sexual organs of a male and a female human being, which results in the transfer of semen from the male to the female, causing fertilization of a cell that will develop into a new individual (i.e. baby).

I don't have a company mascot, will you still design my web site?
Yes, I suppose. But it's unheard of.

Is Ecuador really near the Equator?
Ecuador is one of the so-called Andean republics that line South America's Pacific coast. It is bisected by twin ranges of the Andes chain and is situated on the equator, from which it derives its name.

Can I have your autograph?
Sure.

What is your policy on Spam?
Our policy on Spam is that we absolutely must receive at least 10 pieces of unsolicited email (a.k.a. Spam) in our inbox each day from now until the end of the world.

I don't live in Canada--can I still view this web site?
Yes, but the Canadian functions won't work for you.

You suck. This is the worst web site I have ever seen.
That's not a question.

Are you a cop?
No.

How much money does Bill Gates have?
I don't know but this guy says it's a lot.

Have you guys ever been on Hollywood Squares?
No. They said they lost our application.

Do you have a real FAQ page?
Not yet, but we're kind of new so we don't really know what questions are most frequently asked.

Oh, you're from Canada? Are you friends with John?
Yes, as a matter of fact, we are. We'll send him your regards.

Is this site anything like Amazon or Ebay?
Yes. It's exactly like Amazon and Ebay. Except, as far as we know, they don't have mascots.

Who shot J.R.?
Sue Ellen's sister Kristin Sheppard, of course. She did it after J.R. went back on his word that he would divorce Sue Ellen and marry her. Take a look at her guilty mug.

Is the letter "y" a vowel?
A vowel is a letter of the alphabet representing a speech sound in which the vocal cords are vibrating and the breath is not blocked at any point in the mouth by the tongue, teeth, or lips. You do the math.

WPM?
About 55. Try it yourself.

Can you take care of my cat while I'm on vacation?
No, our mascot doesn't like cats. Actually, on second thought, he does like them--with a little lemon, butter, and oregano.

Cool! Is this one of those Internet web sites?
Yes.

Can I show this site to my Grandmother?
Sure, share it with the whole family.
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