Mouth No. 1
Standing To Reason
Life, The Universe...
Doing The Unstuck
Blagging By Numbers
Hello, good evening and welcome to Gearhead Nation 30. Thank you for joining us...... and on tonight's show we have for your entertainment a wet mohawk contest, a skinhead whos addicted to velcro and a bunch of self styled editors and writers who don't just think that they know it all, they know they know it all. Well friends its all change at Gearhead mansions for this issue as we forego the usual tales of darkness and depression and concentrate on how to pretend to yourself that you're having a good time even though all around may be failing, so turn up that music! Turn on that TV! Plug in that video game! Get to that pub! Roll up those sleeves and suck in those substances! Do whatever you have to in order to get to that state of mind where nothing is important and lets all party! Oh, we're feeling good tonight! Actually, on second thoughts fuck that shit, this is Holy Catholic Ireland(tm) and we've all got that Catholic Guilt Complex to work through so lets sit in with our bread and potatoes and bitch and sneer and moan and put everyone else down to keep our own esteem up, or at least if we're going for the hedonism, we must keep telling ourselves that its only a phase and we're really good, caring people we're just a little overwhelmed but its all under control. We know this because of that little feeling of guilt in the back, that isn't big enough to interfere but is just enough to comfort us. We're in control, under control and out of control all at the same time. On third thoughts, lets see what entertainment lies in wait over the next thirty days to distract and deflect and massage those pleasure cells....
Well, the big news with gigs for me is the excellent Los Crudos from the US coming over on the 16th of October. Los Crudos play a very energetic political hardcore and have become one of the most respected bands of their kind. They're bringing Ebola from the UK with them to the Attic, just over the White Horse Inn near Tara St DART station. This'll be a great opportunity to familiarise yourself with the best in stateside hc. I don't know what gigs they have planned over in the Olde Chinaman (just off Aungier St) but you can be sure there'll be a couple on over the coming month. Theres a split 7" featuring dublin's Stomach and us band All Day due this month from Rejected Records, I hear stomach are considering changing their name to Somach after a fatal spelling error on the back of the single (which was sussed in the nick of time)....We also hear tell that Jackbeast have recorded 3 other tracks along with the one featured on the Blunt/Dead Elvis compilation - 2nd Demo anyone?....A new edition of the footballtastic Wide/No Way Referee and a new React on the way? Who says married life is boring, not us....For anyone whos already doing a zine/freesheet etc. or anyone thinking of doing one, who've been affected by READS increasing their prices, theres a copy shop opposite Fibber Magees on Parnell St that does A4 copies for 2p. Its a bookshop too and the bloke who runs it is alright and helpful (actually its like the copiers are his kids), they do doubled sided as well....They're back- Natalie, Paul, Hughie, Barry, Rita, what do you mean who? The greatest TV show of all is back on Tuesdays and thursdays on RTE 1, and guess what, Bella Doyle is still the man; well hello ladies....big thanks to Dara, Parachaic and Aoife for helping out last issue with the folding and to Beano for the article which we forgot to c1redit him for...Those good people up in the Garden of Delight are running a sereies of films throughout October by Pier Pasolini who has been described as " ...a filmaker of worldwide reputation, a raging political comentator and a radical critic of the consumer society." The films are "Whoever knows the truth shall die" (6th Oct; 5.30pm); "Accattone" (13th Oct, 5.30); "Theorem" (20th Oct, 5.30); "Hawks and Sparrows" (27th Oct, 5.30) and "The Gospel according to St. Matthew" (3rd Nov, 5.30). Admission is free so try check out at least one of them. As well as this there are constant talks, discussions and events happening all throughout October - too many to list here, so check out the ad in this issue to find out how to get there and drop in for some coffee and a good selection of interesting books...You can pick up a copy of Active Distribution's new catalogue by writing to us here and enclosing a stamped self addressed envelope or write to them at BM Active, WC1N 3XX, London, UK... Don't forget classified adverts are free, and if you want to get Gearhead Nation sent to you monthly then just send us six 32p stamps (or six IRCs if outside of Ireland) and we'll post them to you once a month for the next six months. Also from the Gearhead Nation address we have zines to sell at the moment we've got, Heartattack #11&12; Icarus was Right #2&3; Contrascience #3, 4&5; and Bugs n' Drugs #5 - write for a price list.
Sometimes its very hard to think positive. Do you ever get like that? I do. No matter how many times I say that it does no good, that cloud of desperation manages to wind its way over me. Today I feel bad. I know things could be worse. I know I've got my health, I know I can walk, laugh - at times and do all the wonderful things I can associate with life. I know i will return to those thoughts, soon. I feel bad today, because my bike was stolen. Its not so much the bike, its just that, oh I don't know. Hey robber those bikes didn't belong to you, they were ours. They were our means of transport, our legs for long journeys. I've been through all the arguements regarding property is theft. My penchant for materialism is pretty low. Its not non-existant though. I feel invaded. It is not horrific, its not a crime against my person but some stranger (I hope) has entered my life and now hes taken a piece of me. Bike theft is commonplace. Theres more bikes stolen per year as taxis in the country. Its an industry in itself. The next time you're offered one for cut price remember my face, its sad, angry and desperate. Fuck!
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Most people know that diet and your state of mind are related. If you have a poor diet chances are it's not going to do much for your mental state. What I've been thinking is "What is a good diet?". You're told by 'experts' what a good diet is but who employs these so called experts? Who publishes their findings? Who decides what food is or isn't imported, and how expensive or inexpensive the food imported is? Figure out the answer to that one and you're already on the way to where I'm going. Just think if it's put about that eating vegetables and nuts etc. is good for you and 'healthy' and lots of people decide to be 'healthy' and clean living and clear headed, and in reality eating this type of food dulls your mind and only allows you to think a certain way, then you're fucked aren't you? You think you're doing the 'right thing' but in reality you're removing you own capacity for thought and action. You don't always feel good when you're eating, well do you? In fact now that you think of it, when you're eating "shit" don't you feel good? Don't you feel energetic? You're told that sugar is bad for you, but that sugar buzz gets me moving. Who decides what's bad for you when it comes to food, and how can you trust them anyway? Speaking of questions of trust, I've been reading a lot lately (had to give up TV you see, getting a tan from watching the Simpsons is bad news) so it seems that the white coat who came up with the original HIV+AIDS=DEATH theory which spawned AZT (Don't have cancer? here - have some'n pill form - you know it makes sense) has stated that after ten years of investigation no one can show the theory to be true or false. Seems that way back in the 70's the American military had one of their own suggest a bio-weapon that would affect different ethnic groups, no-one heard much more about it until a report on widespread syphilis vaccinations (with an unidentified vaccine) by the military which predated the first recognisable AIDS cases. Something else that surfaced around the same time concerning the American military was to do with microwaves. Ever heard voices in your head and no-one's there? Sure you have. Worried about being schizophrenic? Who says schizophrenics are really insane at all? Not me. It turns out that the human brain turn supposedly 'silent' microwaves into sounds - humming, words etc. etc. This happens at levels of irradiation hundreds of times lower than 'Government Approved' levels, and people who are schizophrenic are supposedly more 'sensitive' in lots of ways than 'ordinary' people so does it not stand to reason that people who are schizophrenic will be more tuned into this shit than anyone else. That is, people who are schizophrenic and anyone who was at Greenham common when they wheeled out the pigs and wheeled in the dishes. Women bled 'out of season' and were 'sunburnt' at night. The more they protested or demonstrated the sicker they got. Remember when that protest was in the news every so often? What happened? You tell me. What do you mean you didn't notice? Seems Greenham Common isn't the only place shit like this is used either. An old couple out in the English countryside were terrorised over a number of years until the woman finally had a stroke and the man was incapacitated. Why? Who knows? Don't believe any of them eh? Why should you? I can't give you a reason, that's your end of the deal. And anyway, who's behind it all and why are they bothering? Most people would agree that things as they are now do not work satisfactorily. They are happy in spite of school, work, family, personal relationships and not because of them most of the time. Most things that exist today have very little reason to be there other than the fact that they have always been there and no one can think of a 'realistic' alternative. Is that enough? Does the conditioning we've all received since birth stretch and control to the extent that we've lost the ability to see outside of it? Take women (or men) for example. Are you conditioned to like one type of women? If you're going to try and break out of liking the 'slim, big tits, nice ass, made up bimbo' stereotypical women, pause for a minute and think 'What if it's in my nature, or my most natural state to like women who fit that stereotype?'. If you go against 'conditioning' and your natural inclination agrees with that conditioning you're going to end up fighting, or trying to repress, your natural instincts. But how do you separate the two? Where does the conditioning come from? What are the patterns and why? Things are getting weird kids. You start to wonder where it's all heading and what's going to happen when it gets there. All those 'Science Fiction' books from the 50's, 60's and 70's seem to have become blueprints for today's society. But what if literature of that nature isn't actually artistic in nature, what if it's just a way of introducing people to future plans? A way of familiarising the population with their future, so that instead of a chain of events being perceived as a 'plan' they look like a natural progression, i.e. Writer has idea, writes book, scientist reads book, makes idea reality. Very innocent looking from that point of view isn't it? How about Scientist develops idea, team is hired to write 'fiction' based around idea, book published under one name, at a later time scientist presents 'breakthrough development that up until now was only thought of as science fiction'. With that in mind, take a look at some contemporary science fiction literature. It could nearly make you paranoid. I've noticed lately that those little subliminal messages that are all around us seem to be getting less subtle as time goes on. In supermarkets especially. Have you ever looked at a notice, sign etc. and had to double check what you just read? Don'y worry about it if you have. When people are in supermarkets they are assaulted with so many images and words they actually enter a trancelike state of mind. That's why all those other innocuous looking signs are there. To convey messages of hate, despair and anger. It makes perfect sense. People have to shop, almost everyone goes to a supermarket at some stage - the ideal conditioning ground for anyone who chooses to use it as such. The music, heat and lighting in supermarkets only contributes to the overall effect. And what of the products you bring back from the shops? What of all the chemicals? The 'active ingredients', the 'additives', the 'secret formulas'? All those things that surround you in your home as you read this. Different combinations of chemicals inside you and outside you working on your skin and senses and lungs and eyes and mouth and mind every second that you're exposed to them, and every second they're exposed to you. What effect do you think they're having on you. The fumes given off when you pick up the clothes that have just been soaked in washing powder with the hands that have just been washing dishes soaked in cleanser; what effect does that combination have when the fumes are breathed into your system? Then they combine with the additives in the food you eat, and what then? What effect is the food you put in you having on you? It seems we're drawing a circle, but what I want to know is, are you on the inside or the outside?
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Most of everything is bullshit; in or around 99.99999%. That includes most of everything you know, feel, see or think. Our perception of the earth's position in the universe is bullshit; Our perception of the universe itself is bullshit. The laws of physics that hold this planet together are bullshit; and the laws governing time and space likewise bullshit. Even things you profoundly believe to be truths and absolutely correct are bullshit. There is, however, a reality in existence within us and around us; and as reality continues to exist it shows up bullshit for what it is. Actually living our lives carves away at the bullshit of our theoretical beliefs in life; unfortunately replacing them with more bullshit generally. The inventions of the soul, Gods, Love, Hate, Greed, envy, empathy, disgust, cold and warmth are almost all bullshit. You can take for granted that all emotions are contrivances of thousands of years, and that crying during E.T. or Bambi is not on. Hunger is another contrivance. Sentience is a tag we give ourselves yet we are slaves to nice-sounding psycho-chemical reactions. I know I won't die if I don't eat between meals but I'll die if I don't get some chocolate soon. Sloth in an invention. Exercise is made to look hard when it is in fact possibly more enjoyable than smoking or eating. It does however cost less. Work is bullshit. Work for the money (money is bullshit) to keep your self in a job. The accumulation of wealth is bullshit. Capitalism is bullshit. Communism is bullshit. You sense of smell is lying to you or is being lied to, and it's all bullshit. So, if you can get this far and say, ok, it's "nearly" all bullshit, what now? Where do you go from here? To be taking nothing for granted as real is probably a very good, if quite often annoying, position to be in. Ownership is bullshit but it holds up the past and present for the future to dub it bullshit and discover its own version/perception of reality. Most of Love is bullshit but lots of it feels nice and some things are harder to fight than others. Communications is bullshit but in the words of the fool you will see the nature of the fool. The past is bullshit mainly because it's the past andalso because it's at least third hand but everything thing we are is based on it. The moon is not made of cheese but at least doesn't have any billboards on it yet. Any attempts to distinguish reality from bullshit more than likely fail but you must percivere, and take it one bullshit day at a time. 1 down 87,768,567,485,766, 298, 536, 482,176,834,276,549 to go. I leave you there because all too often, when you're talking bullshit, you're talking bullshit.
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Piss off and die!! No, no. Can't say that to them. So instead I stare and make them squirm. The 'Evil Eye', no doubt they're thinking - these sheepish bastions of the boring. The live within a self created hotbed of conservatism, nationalism, bullshitism, that's just the people. Their animals, sad and empty in the lush green fields are responsible for the dung encrusted 'roads' and the septic stink of shit that pervades tha air. I live here too. Welcome to my country Kitch. Being seen as the most subversive member of a weird family has always been mt destiny. People expected it and I fit the bill. Fuck, who am I to spoil their fun or free them from their delusions? I live amongst these assholes and their petty ideals that inspire me with nothing but contempt. They fuck themselves up trying to be the perfect farmer, to own a perfect house, to be a perfect bigwig with local GAA activists or at least a loyal lapdog, to marry a 'daycent ICA woman' who can cook, clean and has never heard that dirty word feminism. The same are also the holier-than-thou (like I compete) figures of the parish. THe judgemental, hostile front afforded to 'blow-ins from the city' who don't conform. the same people run the primary schools and advocate their sacred cows on impressionable young minds that don't forget. Jesus but life's a viscious tragedy here. Everyone is encouraged to be a good little conformist. Maybe they just don't see the far side, where they could get a life, learn a few tricks, elicit(illicit?!!) experience along the way. But many deeply rural areas are like this. It's a fundamentalist movement for redneck culchies stagnating in the slime of banality. Happily. The ultimate aim is to create a new and identical breed of braindead bastards. They never fail. This cult of personality has gone on way too far. I'd like to believe the thrumming, humming noises from those 'oul byres up yonder lane emenate from a giant vibrator. Not milking machines. I'd like to discover some barnyard oddity who wants to go just that little bit higher, to the tune of 'Ye Olde Sex Pistols', Janes Addiction or Ministry. Not 'More power to your elbow' and Country n' Cowshite K-Tel compilations. I'd like to shove this little gossiping, whinging, squinting time-warped village SCREAMING into the present. But I can't. I'm the one who has to adapt or go. Tame birds dream of escape, wild birds just fly.
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We all belong to family groups; family groups, political groups, social class, subcultures, schools, work, organisations of various types and very importantly religions. We choose to join many of these groups, others we idly find ourselves in, leave or join throughout our lives but many of these institutions are inherent. We all want to have choice and not have our lives mapped out with no input. We need to believe in what we do and what we subscribe to in order for us to feel good about ourselves and the world we live in. If such an organisation that we subscribe to, does something we disagree with then it has implications for us, or at least it should be accountable to us. Therefore if such an organisation works counter to our values and interests it would seem logical to withdraw our membership. Organisations are always scrambling for more recognition and influence. Money achieves this power but so does sheer weight of numbers. After considering my application for three weeks I cautiously decided to announce my enrolment in the Roman Catholic Church with a strange water ritual. A monolithic, transnational, dictatorial conglomeration; it took me nearly thirteen more years to resolve that this was a fucked up decision but yet one with a "Catch 22". The Catholic Church allows us the freedom to walk away from our religion and never be actively involved in it again. I am probably foolish not to accept this as satisfactorily enough. Many other cultures and religions won't even permit this freedom. For the sake of this article and curiosity I decided to go one step forward. Hypothetically speaking if there was an exodus in membership from the Catholic Church; no longer representing a substantial portion of our population, in theory its power should be reduced. It is a time of great challenge for those religious in Ireland; a massive mud-slinging scandal that we could take much advantage from; to challenge dominance in school boards of education, censorship boards etc. In order to resign membership of the Catholic Church it is necessary to apply for 'a formal act of defection' to the bishop. Unfortunately: "It would appear that those who have come into full membership are never able to withdraw fully from the church's law.....Incorporation into the Catholic Church is a more complex reality than might first appear.... heretics and schismatics remain in the church, only they do not have any active or passive functions of membership.... just as baptism, once validly administered, may never be repeated, so also incorporation into the church is irreversible once it has taken place." The church merely made distinction to different degrees of membership. "..loss of faith, for example does not 'result' in a loss of membership.... even excommunicates who put themselves 'outside' the church, remain in some way bonded to her". In the past the church recognised, heresy, Apostasy (the total repudiation of the Christian faith), schism or notorious Rejection' as types of formal defection. From what I can make outfrom the long winded document on the subject the Bishop has supplied me with there are two ways to defect; (1) Joining another religion or sect, or (2) A written statement of Apostasy and these must be made before an ecclesiastical authority or civil affidavit or affiliation to a non Catholic sect. Below is the procedure to apply for a formal act of defection. The only real consequence of this would be 'a denial of Christian burial' which could prove a great trauma to your family if you were killed suddenly, but that's not to put you off! a) An application or petition or letter informing or requesting Church authorities of departure from the church; b) An investigation to determine what weight should be given to the application. This would normally involve requesting an interview with the applicant in order to obtain his place and date of baptism, but in the course of which one could discover whether or not the request is genuine and conscientious or that of a disturbed or perhaps annoyed person whose intention to defect might readily dissipate; ** c) A determined time span (say six months from the time of application) before the issuing of a Notification of formal defection; d) A notification from the Church authorities that the act of defection has been formally recognised. This would be forwarded both to the applicant as well as to his place of baptism for entry into the Baptismal Register. This notification would be dated and so indicate the time from which the relevant canonical consequences would take effect; ** - This means in reality, is to sus out how much of an atheist you really are. You must have the weight of your convictions her. I would say that you should not argue against your belief in the church but rather your total denial of Christ.
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With the wave of happy, skipping generally smiley crusty, traveller type that has swept in increasing numbers across the land has come it's pseudo-tribe "The Blagger". The blagger on first appearance is no different than the average crusty. Army fatigues, big boots, rings, dreads, coloured dreads.... well you get the picture. However it takes a little longer to distinguish the member of the blag tribe. Here's a few hints. Firstly after having developed a sense of affinity with you through some common interest, the blagger will harp on the anarcho-peace punkish, communal ideas of share and share alike. A good blagger will have persuaded it's victim that "property is theft" and constant reminders that they "just want to be free" seems to work like a charm. The foundation has now been set. This creature will now remind people, not being particular, of their recent or, hither still, ongoing hardship. This is usually most effective when the listener's own problems are ignored, avoided or paled into insignificance flattering the victims comfort and fortune is paramount to the blaggers success at this stage. At this point the blagger has stuck his/her neck out and risk identification and resulting alienation. Further "give aways" are as follows. After finding their way to the local open house, by hook or crook, the blagger has a sharp ear and will always pop out of the woodwork when something is on the go. The blagger rarely pays into gigs. A good blagger will pay little or nothing at the door using whatever means of coercive persuasion, but still have enough for a few pints once inside. Any good blagger will always seem to have a light but never a smoke. Obliging the unsuspecting smoker with a light will usually reward the blagger with an "easy blag" smoke. When the blagger is "laying on the blag" will subtly focus the conversation around what they want. Moaning as much as possible is advantageous. If they can't get your sympathy vote plan b is to annoy you into consent. Beating slowly around the bush eventually the blagger will in a casual and hard to refuse manner apply the blag. The precise moment usually depends on the blaggers estimates of success. Once your suspicions have been raised the blagger will seem painfully obvious and should be removed ASAP. Local chemists now sell Blagacide in 250ml canisters. Applied to the person twice daily will remove the blagger quickly. However be warned once the blag tribesman has been identified all is not won. The final trick is played often with a sting to the hand. This final tactic is the divide and conquer method creating confusion and animosity amongst the host(s) to squeeze the final readies before "moving on....man!"
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Copyright © 1996 Fin
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