Boy am I glad this didn't happen here in the US, otherwise we'd be looking at another Lieberman-esque damnation of the videogame industry from Capitol Hill. A 12-year old Thai girl was recently found dead in her bedroom, having hung herself in frustration after a grand Bomberman losing streak at the hands of her older sister. Siriwan Khao-snoh left behind the following suicide note: "Dear mom, I am sorry to leave you. In fact, I do not want to die . . . but mom please don't worry about why I have committed suicide...if you find my body, please cremate it on June 14."

The girl's mother says that Siriwan got the idea to hang herself from one of her favorite cartoons, but the police believe that she was driven to kill herself because her mother often interrupted her videogame sessions. "Siriwan often complained that she was unable to finish a game. She must have been so stressed out and frustrated," police captain Somsak Pikulthong said.

I thought this was particularly apt, considering the recent Titanic thread in the forums. A Chinese couple were recently fished out of the Yangtse river after re-enacting the famous scene in Cameron's maritime disaster film in which Kate Winslet stands at the prow of the ship as it sails into certain doom. 'Mr. Hu', as he was described by the Chinese press, and his girlfriend were swept off the barge by a large wave, and were subsequently rescued by other boatmen who threw lifebuoys to them. The girlfriend dislocated her knee in the incident.

Freaky child-porn afficionado Gary Glitter has decided to leave Cambodia after an extended stay which vexed local authorities wary of his previous kiddie-porn convictions in the UK. Glitter served two months out of a four month prison sentence after pictures of nekkid kids were found on his PC by a repair technician. Cambodian officials tried numerous means to get Glitter out of their country, but as he had broken no laws, he could not legally be deported. Glitter is reportedly on his way to Vietnam. So let this be a lesson to you: if you like kiddie porn, learn how to fix your own computer.

'Struggling' is one way to put it. But that's kind of like saying that someone whose head has been crushed in a pneumatic press is 'struggling. According to the fine fellas at PlanetXbox.com (gotta show some solidarity for my editorial counterparts at PPXB), the Xbox sold a staggering 834 units in the last week in Japan. 834. In the whole country. Jeezus, I could sell more consoles than that if I scratch-built them out of balsa wood and old transistor radio parts in my garage. Hey, now there's a concept! The DAMStation! Be right back...I've got a new pet project I gotta kickstart.

Although it's not exactly unexpected, it is worth noting that following the recent cross-system price drops prior to last week's E3 expo, Nintendo's latest financial forecast indicates that Nintendo's profit margin will shrink significantly, at least in the short term. It's pretty safe to assume that the hardware costs associated with development and production of the Nintendo GameCube haven't yet broken even, and the $50 price drop announced a couple of weeks back probably didn't help either, although they're certainly not as bad off as Microsoft, whose Xbox has been struggling in markets outside the US. Don't count Nintendo out yet, though. They still have the handheld console market in a hammerlock thanks to the GameBoy Advance, and there's no indication that anyone wants to take them on in that arena.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

Considering how much Microsoft has been trying to de-bunk the perception that the Xbox is nothing more than a stripped-down PC, they're doing their damndest to ensure that it has all the functionality of a PC. A built-in 10GB hard drive, an ethernet port, and now they're mulling over whether or not to develop an Xbox Connection kit which would allow Xbox owners to access mp3 files and other files from a PC. According to Yahoo! News, Microsoft recently ran a survey at Xbox.com which asked users opinions on such a peripheral. Should the item prove desirable, Microsoft claims they would sell it for $29.99 and could have it on the market as soon as this December.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

What is know is that there are two more movies in the Matrix trilogy. What may not be known is that several top names in Anime are working on anime shorts set in the Matrix universe. Off the top of my head, I can only remember Mamoru Oshii and Peter Cheng (I think). Then there's Square, who's rolled out their film division on this one. No trailer yet, but the stills look amazing. I've included one here for your perusal, but you can find out more at www.whatisthematrix.com

(Posted by The Kuhaku Saint)

Here's a bizarre pronouncement...toy retailer Toys 'R' Us has shaken off the manacles of objective reality and pronounced that Microsoft's Xbox will be the 'industry's leading platform'. Uhm...I don't know if anyone at Toys 'R' Us has been paying attention, but it's gonna be pretty hard to topple Sony's ten to one sales lead, no matter how much green Microsoft pours into the Xbox. Now, don't get me wrong. I own an Xbox. It's not like I want the damn thing to fail. But facts are facts, folks, and right now Microsoft's 3.5 million installed units stacks up pretty pathetically against Sony's 30 million installed units. If Microsoft were actually making a dent in Sony's sales I might see how Toys 'R' Us have a point, but they aren't. Here's the Reuters piece:

The head of the nation's top specialty toy retailer said Wednesday that the recent price cut for the Xbox game console had boosted sales and predicted that Microsoft's machine would become the industry's leading platform. "With the pricing adjustment that just took place, the lift in unit sales is fabulous," Toys "R" Us CEO John Eyler told other CEOs at Microsoft's annual CEO Summit gathering in Redmond, Wash. In a display of support for the U.S. software giant's bid to take a chunk of the $20 billion gaming industry away from leader Sony and its PlayStation machines, Eyler said that the Xbox would become a leading platform for games. "It is going to accelerate over time to where we have critical mass and this platform really becomes the premier (medium) of the video game industry," Eyler said.

It's finally happened. That psycho bizarroid freak in charge of Nintendo has finally decided to call it quits. After fifty-odd years on the throne, Hiroshi Yamauchi, 74, has announced that he will leave the company to a "carefully groomed management group". Not sure this is much of an improvement, but it will be interesting to see how Nintendo will fare without that scabrous, wizened Sith Lord in charge of things. While nobody can deny that Yamauchi was instrumental in building Nintendo into the company it is today, it's likewise indisputable that he is a pretty mentally unstable chap. Known for his bizarre public pronoucements (in a speech at a pre-launch Tokyo Game Show, Yamauchi claimed that if the public greeted the GameCube with anything less than overflowing enthusiasm, Nintendo would cease development on the unfinished console), and stauch unwillingness to follow common sense (cartridges on the N64? GD-ROM's for the GameCube? VirtualBoy?), Yamauchi-san has threatened on many occasions to step down, only to change his mind at the last minute. This time it looks like its for real, though. I'm sure a lot of Nintendo-philes will call me a total ass for not recognizing Yamauchi's 'genius', but I'm hoping that with Yamauchi reduced to an advisory position Nintendo will finally start lining up 3rd party developers like mad as opposed to the current strategy, which appears perilously close to the Nintendo 64 (i.e. not enough damn games) for me to consider buying a GameCube.

...Twenty-six dollars in my hand Up to Lexington, 125 Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive. Those of you who have never heard the Velvet Underground probably have no idea what I'm babbling about. Have you ever seen that movie Trainspotting? Remember the scene where Renton (Ewan MacGregor) gets locked in his bedroom by his parents to help him kick his junk habit? That's how I feel right now. The reason? Morrowind...my desire to get my hands on the Xbox version of this game is eating me up like a $100 a day heroin habit. The game's been delayed more times in the last two months than the Second Coming of Christ, and I'm at the breaking point. My life is sad...sad and empty...

I can guarantee that putting the words 'sexy' and 'toddler' next to each other in a sentence on your website is a sure means towards spurring an FBI investigation into your daily routine. Matter of fact, that will be a pet project of mine this afternoon...running a Google search on the phrase "sexy toddler" and seeing what comes up. I bet one of the top results would be Abercrombie and Fitch. As if pissing off the entire Asian community weren't enough, they have now stooped to selling thong underwear for kids. Yes, indeed...just in case you want your kids showing off a little more ass-cheek at the day care (you never know when there might be a potential future doctor playing with the oversized legos just waiting to be wooed by your available daughter), A&F have stepped up to plate, offering a full line of cute thongs for your wee ones. I don't know what those evil fuckers over at Abercrombie and Fitch are smoking, but I want some.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

Japanese Health Minister Chikara Sakaguchi proclaimed that the Japanese race would become extinct if the nation's birthrate does not increase. A slump in the birthrate could cause significant population declines as early as 2007. "If we go on this way, the Japanese race will become extinct," he was quoted in a press conference. Prime Minister Koziumi seeks to solve the problem through social services like increased welfare and child care. The UN has suggested that Japan import 600,000 workers annually to help stabilize the working population, as the existing aged population steadily grows. I'm sure this went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter (no pun intended), seeing as how Japan is one of the most xenophobic countries on Earth.

This isn't really good news or bad news, as far as the whole CARP debacle is concerned. However, it does leave some hope. The US Copyright office has rejected the current proposed royalty rate on webcasted material (14/100ths of a cent per song). Webcasters have claimed that the proposed rate was far too high, especially in light of similar fees being paid by other media outlets, and that webcasting services were being unfairly gouged.

"Today's decision by the Librarian offers hope that the final royalty will be more in line with marketplace economics than was the arbitrators' proposal," said Jonathan Potter, executive director of the Digital Media Association, a trade group that includes Webcasters.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

We all know of Asian countries' lack of disregard when it comes to the English language. Fair is fair, I suppose...we probably do much worse when interpreting their mother tongues than they do. In that vein is a humorous tidbit online about the popularity of Marvel's Spider-Man in Hong Kong, where he has been mysteriously re-dubbed 'Spader-Man' by bootleg toy-manufacturers hoping to cash in on the super-hero's sudden popularity.

"Sometimes they change the spelling a little bit and so on," said Richard Law, spokesman with the Hong Kong Customs & Excise Department's intellectual-property investigation bureau.

(Submitted by Suezoled)

You't think that now we're officially in the 21st century, pirates (the seafaring kind, not the software-copying kind) would be a thing of the past. Well, that's what you'd think. There was a Filipino grocery not far from my house that rented out Filipino movies; my dad and I used to grab a buttload of chicharrones (pork rinds to you round-eyes) and a couple of grade-z Filipino action flicks and spend a weekend ruining our stomachs and brain cells. Invariably these films showed crews of dastardly Filipino pirates tooling around in speedboats which I thought was cool as hell.

In a recent CNN.com story, Thai officials have declared that a missing oil tanker recovered off the coast of Thailand was the work of Southeast Asian pirates.

"We suspect the ship might have been robbed by pirates in the notorious Strait of Malacca, where ships have been robbed in the past," Aganit Muensri, head of the naval search operations, told Reuters. Navy officers said the search team did not find any evidence of violence, but the ship had been repainted yellow and blue from its original black and white and had been renamed Phae Tan. "Our preliminary assumption is all...crew members might have been thrown into the sea," Navy spokesman Pasukree Vilairak told Reuters.

(Submitted by Suezoled)

You know, no matter how high we put them on pedestals, film critics see films pretty much the same way as anyone else:

Roeper: And there's this whole "Crouching Yoda, Hidden Dragon" thing that's just...
Ebert: You like the fact that Yoda turns into an action figure now with his light saber?
Roeper: I think that that is a scene [with Yoda] that "Star Wars" fans are going to absolutely love, I loved it.
Ebert: It's totally out of character for him.
Roeper: It's not totally out of character for him! That's part of his skills. He's not just this brilliant philosopher, he's also a Jedi warrior!
Ebert: Listen, if you're Yoda and you have the Force. ...
Roeper: He's a Jedi master.
Ebert: ...If you encompass the Force, you don't need no lightsaber!
Roeper: You do when you're going up against another Jedi dude who's also got super-duper mind powers!
Ebert: You've just got to go like this [makes a mind-reading gesture]. You're Yoda, nobody can stop you.

Kee-rist! It must be pretty bad for women commuters if Tokyo has started running 'women-only' trains to prevent strangers from copping a feel. Apparently, that's the case according to a recent news item at Mainichi Daily News. The service would only run in the morning (70% of all 'groping' incidents occur during the morning rush-hour), and depending on its success the program may be extended to other cities. Makes me wonder, though...what's to stop a woman from groping another woman (which, frankly, gets me a little excited...)? Oh well, guess no plan is perfect.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

Martial-arts star and former Miss Malaysia Michelle Yeoh is starting her own production company, according to a recent article at Yahoo! News. The first film with Yeoh serving as producer will be The Touch, an action adventure in which Yeoh will portray a trapeze artist. In addition to starting a production company, Yeoh will also be juding at this year's Cannes film festival (wonder if her old co-star Jackie Chan's film The Tuxedo will be up for a Palme d'Or this year...)

(Submitted by Mazinga)

In case you give a crap, both Microsoft and Sony have dropped the price on their respective game consoles to $199 in the last 24 hours. Additionally, Sony is packing an extra DualShock 2 controller in each PS2 and dropped the price of the controller and PS2 memory cards to $24.99 each. And in case you're really out of the loop, you can now buy a PSOne console for $49 and a PSOne/LCD monitor combo for $149. Man, it's good to be a gamer right now.

This is one of the funniest things I've seen all week. As anyone who has seen American produced porn featuring Asian women will know (and I only know this through second-hand knowledge...ahem...anyway...), Asian women are generally characterized as exotic temptresses or passive wallflowers, and Asian men, when they show up at all, are always bookish geeks with zero social skills (since most Asian-themed porn features hapless Asian women getting ripped by young, strapping caucasian dudes...you know, cause Asian guys all have small penises...and the thought of an Asian woman actually dating an Asian man is pretty foreign to American porn filmmakers (and viewers for that matter). Well, check out this film at Atomfilms.com. Titled 'Asian Pride Porn', filmmaker Greg Pak has created a 3-minute fake infommercial for a pornographic film that caters to more high-minded Asians. Starring playwright David Henry Hwang of M. Butterfly fame (seriously...), Asian Pride Porn pokes fun at Asian sterotypes as promulgated by the porn industry. If nothing else, it's seriously worth hearing the line 'Did you order the mongolian beef?'

Hey, like that clever headline? Me too. Anyway, this is one of the better blogger entries to pass through my browser in a while. What do you get when you get a last-minute plane ticket, a Filipino guy, and an accordion? You get this story, which makes me wonder if Al Qaida will start to give it's suicidal operatives accordion lessons...

(Borrowed liberally from BoingBoing)

Bangkok's public services are so piss-poor apparently that authorites rely on gangs of 'body snatchers', groups of people who putter around the Thai capital's congested streets in Toyota pickup trucks, to help keep the city clear of dead bodies. While it may sound like these are vicious bandits looking for a quick profit at other people's expense, the truth is that they do provide a much-needed service in the urban jungle of Bangkok. Aside from fishing dead bodies out of the river or extricating mangled remains from car wrecks, they also provide emergency medical assistance for those in need. Orignially founded by Chinese immigrants to provide funeral services for the poor, 'body snatcher' services like Por Tek Tung and Ruam Katanyoo now operate hospitals through public donations. One of the primary motivations behind the 'body snatchers' is buddhist faith...they believe that by helping the sick and dying, they will earn good karma which will benefit them in the afterlife. As a general rule, the body snatcher organization who helps the most people receives the most donations, leading to some nasty scuffles when more than one group arrives at the scene of an accident.

Apparenty Cambodian authorities have given up all hope of deporting glam rocker/pedophile Gary Glitter. Security Minister Sar Kheng said, "He committed crimes in England but no crimes in Cambodia. At this stage I do not have any law to expel him. But, at least, we must watch him." Glitter was convicted of the crime of posession of child pornography which was discovered when he took his home computer in for repairs. Glitter served two months and, after his release in January of 2000, emigrated to Cambodia where he has been living in a posh luxury pad in the captial city of Phonm Penh. Cambodian authorities are worried that, even if Glitter doesn't diddle any kids while he's there, his very presence adds to the stereotype that Cambodia is a pederast's paradise.

In case you actually read my previous posting in regards to the danger facing Live365 and other similar webcast services posed by CARP and the RIAA, you might want to check out this page. What it'll do is allow you to shoot off a fax via the internet to your congressman's office voicing your opposition to the CARP recommendation threatening webcast radio services like the one we use through Live365.com. Activism has never been easier...you don't even have to leave your office chair!

Oh, and I wasn't (for some reason) able to set up the non-looping radio broadcast, so I suppose yer stuck with it for a while.

(Link sent by the ever-vigilant Mazinga!)

I've been putting this off for too long, but I've finally gotten round to ripping a whole new DAM Radio playlist for your listening pleasure. This one's a bit more loud than the last one (II Stix even said it put them to sleep), so here's one to piss your parents off. I was planning on doing a whole Zeni Geva playlist, but Live365 restrictions buried that idea. I did slip three tracks in there from KK Null and company, so enjoy. Also, I'm changing the playlist settings so that it will no longer loop. Whenever you connect to the broadcast, it will start from the beginning and run all the way through, rather than endlessly looping 24 hours a day. Let me know if you prefer this new format. The downside is that DAM Radio will be down for a short while this afternoon while I upload the tracks and organize the playlist.

Somebody up at Disney Studio's must've gotten their hands on some high-grade coke, because this movie concept is just too damn wierd to have been spawned without some serious pharmaceutical assistance. Apparently Disney is planning a Hong Kong-style Snow White re-make with the dwarves being replaced by shaolin monks who protect the dainty princess from her evil stepmother. I shit you not. I think its safe to assume that this movie will turn out one of two ways: relegated to the dim memory of those unlucky enough to be involved in this disaster, or it will survive as a cult classic a la Rocky Horror Picture Show. Please, Disney...make the hurting stop...

(Source: Aint-It-Cool-News)

Goddamn, that's a lot of noodles! Even more amazing is that Chef Li Tao pounded out the 2,097,152 noodles using only 1kg of dough, breaking his old record. The noodles were so thin that 18 of them could pass through the eye of a needle simultaneously. Apparently the record-breaking noodle making skills Li Tao displayed runs in the family; his father, Li Sihai, also holds three Guiness world records for making noodles.

(Source: Annanova)

I know it sounds wierd, but my dad has told me some pretty odd stories about wierd paranormal beasties hiding out in the Philippines. Here's a tidbit I swiped from The Fortean Times today about the aswang, a sort of Filipino vampire, except this ain't like any vampire seen on Buffy...the aswang can separate the upper and lower halves of its body, at which point the upper torso sprouts wings and takes flight in search of fresh blood. Many people still believe in the aswang, and aswang sightings have grown particularly rampant lately.

The "aswang" tales started some time in January, this year in Negros Occidental about a female overseas contract worker (OCW) who worked abroad as a nurse. She was said to have "inherited" her being "aswang" from her employer abroad. The OCW, according to reports, when she came home, slaughtered her only child and cooked it to become "adodo." When her husband, who is a policeman, arrived home, he was reportedly shocked to learn that their child was already cooked by his wife. The husband reportedly got a bolo and hacked his wife on the face. From then on, the "aswang" was called "Maria Labu" because of her hacked wound on the face.

I posted this at PlanetPS2 today, so you can read the whole thing there, but I'll give y'all a brief re-cap of the article there.

"PlayStation has delivered on its entertainment promise to consumers, and, in turn, our growing loyal fan base continues to propel the platform to unprecedented heights," said Kaz Hirai, president and chief operating officer, Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc. "Even after a pivotal year for the gaming industry in 2001, we remain confident about our opportunities for continued growth. As an illustration of the demand for PlayStation 2, we announced in February 2002 that the company had shipped 26 million units worldwide. Now, as of May 5, 2002, just three months later, we have shipped 30 million units worldwide."

(Submitted by Mazinga)

It almost sounds like the plot of a porn movie itself...a university in Japan that offers a degree in porn filmmaking. But it's true. A university in Roppongi, Tokyo is offering a six-month course in porn film. The school's admission fee is 200,000 yen (just over $1500) and the tuition is 980,000 yen ($7,671.87 at current exchange rates), a mere pittance for an exciting career as a director of pornographic films!

One AV [Adult Video] director said: "We are always seeking prospective new employees. If graduates of this school are highly motivated and have an interest in AV, we want to hire them."

(Submitted by Mazinga)

Chinese-American cosmetics queen Yue-Sai Kan has created a line of Asian Barbie-like girl's dolls called 'Wa Wa Dolls' which she hopes to begin marketing outside China. The Wa Wa Doll comes in several models including 'panda protector, doctor and jewelled dancer'. Yue-Sai Kan said she created the dolls to educate young Asian girls about their heritage and make them proud of their 'distinct beauty'

"I went through the department stores and all I found was blue-eyed, blonde haired dolls," she said. "In spite of the well worn phrase China doll there was no China doll! I was so shocked and totally upset and thought this is not good as the children in China will not have a sense of self."

(From Brand Recon )

Yes, and the Pope is Catholic. A thoroughly unsurprising report by NetValue is reporting that Asians were drawn to websites containing pornographic material in record numbers in the month of March. Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Singapore all experienced a 30-40 percent increase in online users viewing pornography, with South Korea seeing a whopping 72 percent increase from the same time period last year. The report also mentions that Singaporean business execs and Korean school students made up the majority of online porn patrons.

(Submitted by Mazinga)

Holy fuckola. As if I really needed more proof that the entire human race is comprised of thin-skulled dullards who wouldn't know a book if it bit them on the ass (or unless Oprah inducted it into her fucking 'Oprah's Picks' selection of the month)...a group calling itself 'Those Affected by September 11th' is campaigning New Line Cinema to change the title of the second installment of Peter Jackson's big-screen adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's 'The Two Towers' to 'something less offensive'. Here's the text of their petition, posted at petitiononline.com:

To: Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema
Those of us who have seen The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring know what an amazing director Peter Jackson is. When I learned that there apparently was to be a sequel, I was overjoyed. However, Peter Jackson has decided to tastelessly name the sequel "The Two Towers". The title is clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center. In this post-September 11 world, it is unforgiveable that this should be allowed to happen. The idea is both offensive and morally repugnant. Hopefully, when Peter Jackson and, more importantly, New Line Cinema see the number of signatures on this petition, the title will be changed to something a little more sensitive.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned

Sweet Mother of God, how stupid can these people possibly be? Petitiononline.com has smartly prefaced the petition with a disclaimer pointing out that Tolkien wrote the books 47 years before the September 11th attacks, thus pointing out what pinheads these people are. As if they needed to. When I went to see 'Fellowship of the Ring' last year, I was amazed at the number of people streaming out of the theater shaking their heads in confusion that the story wasn't self-contained. Don't people read books anymore? Do people even know books exist? "When I learned that there apparently was to be a sequel, I was overjoyed." When, exactly, did you discover this miraculous piece of knowledge? Did you think all those Lord of the Rings books popping up all over store shelves were movie tie-ins? It's easy to see how you could get your (admittedly scarce) brain cells crossed seeing as how versions of the books with pics from the movie outnumber non film-tainted versions 10 to 1...make that 1000 to 1 if you fulfill all your literary needs at the local supermarket, as these fucking retards apparently do.

About the only thing keeping me from hunting these lowly knobs down with a high-powered sniper rifle is the fact that their 'vocal outcry' has been totally smothered by more learned individuals who have posted scores of counter-petitions in defense of the title. Furthermore, of the 1242 signatures gathered for the 'Rename The Two Towers' campaign, a good number are from people pointing out what idiots they are (in addition to about 1000 voided entries...obviously people trying to spam the petition). I'll be adding my own comment sometime later, and I suggest you do the same. Here is a sampling of some of the better comments (both funny and misguided):

1168. Bob the Balrog
I HEAR THAT PETER JACKSON ADDED A SCENE OF A DRAGON FLYING INTO ONE OF THE TOWERS! OMG THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A REFERENCE TO 9/11 OMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1146. cathy clinton
i pray every day that mr jackson will see the light and pull the plug on this project. Mr Tolkien if that is his indead his real name does not seem to be a very christian person to be so cynically cashing in on this tragedy.

932. Sean Curtin
Whoever this Tolkein guy is, he's an insensitive ashole if he's making a movie with a title like that. I'll bet he's not even American!! What gives him the right!!!!

922. Scott Masullo
you should not make that the title you capitalistic fuck face

1084. matt beggs
THOSE INSENSITIVE BASTERDS. THE ATTACKS ON SEPTEMBER 11 HAVE AFFECTED ME VERY DEEPLY. IF THIS ASS HOLE IS ALLOWED TO KEEP THIS TITLE, I WILL KILL MYSELF. JESUS CHRIST, I STILL CANT LOOK AT THE NUMBER 11 WITH OUT CRYING. SEE, I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW. I'M ALSO TO AFRAID TO CALL THE POLICE. THEIR NUMBER (WHICH I WILL NAME XXX FOR NOW) SCARES ME, IF I WAS IN AN EMERGANCY, I WOULD NOT DIAL XXX FOR FEAR OF FARTHER RETALIATION FROM THOSE SCARY TERRORISTS. PLEASE TAKE THESE CORPORATE BASTERDS DOWN FOR EXPLOITING THE STILL OPEN WOUNDS OF PATRIOTIC AMERICANS EVERYWHERE. LONG LIVE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, WHICH I LIVE, AND WOULD DIE FOR. AMERICA!!!! w00t! ps. please save my internet access :D

1076. Sigmund Wonder
Oh thank you so much for this. Those shameless moneymongers care for nothing but themselves. Baby Jesus cries every day because of them. Every single day. Could you please start a petition to stop those fascist police from using 911 as their phone number too? That is also something that bothers me.

1069. Amanda Swanson
I can't believe the insensitivity of some people in this petition. The least New Line can do is postpone the movie for a while so that the country had time to grieve. Have they no shame!?

1102. Paul
they have no sensitivity, i wont even let my two twin kids stand next to each other out of respect for 9/11

Oh, and in case you truly want to voice your opinion about this inane petition, here are links to a number of the coutner-petitions:

2nd LOTR Film, Keep the Name "The Two Towers"
About the Two Towers petition...
Cease the Petition to Rename Two Towers
Don't Rename The Two Towers
Down with the petition to rename "The Two Towers"!
End Stupid Petitions
Get rid of the 'Change The Two Towers Title Petition' petition.
KEEP THE "TWO TOWERS" title
Keep the film title 'The Two Towers'
Keep Two Towers Name
Leave "The Two Towers" titled as it is
New Line Cinema: Please DO NOT Rename the second Lord of the Rings Movie (The Two Towers); and Lests have The Politically Corect people who want this to Step Back and Please Take a Breath
Preserve the title of "The Two Towers"
Preserve the Two Towers Title
Removal of the "Rename 'The Two Towers' to Something Less Offensive Petition" Petition

In what seems like the inevitable catching up, a Thai rock band comprised entirely of HIV-positive members has called it quits after the majority of their lineup succumbed to the deadly virus. The band stuck it out for eight years, replacing members who died with new members. Four members of the band recently passed away, and the remaining two have declined to carry the torch as they are too sick to do so. Over the course of their career, HIV Band had nearly 60 members. None of the band's current lineup are original members...the original seven died not long after the band was formed. "The band has not performed in two months. I am the only one on his feet," 33-year old singer/guitarist Sawong Wanchahem said. "It would take some time to train newcomers to replace my old colleagues."

HIV Band was formed in 1994 by seven AIDS patients in Lopburi, Thailand. They used their music to educate people about the AIDS epidemic.

Korean authorities are in an uproar over a recent film which features 825 nude actors. The film, entitled 'Mago', is an allegory about environmental destruction which uses nude actors and actresses (including 100 young women recruited from a Korean college campus) to represent a Korean creation myth. Over the course of the 80-minute film the actors and actresses are increasingly covered with dirt and pollution, illustrating man's fall from grace and the transition from a simpler way of life to the crushing complexity of the modern world.

Actress Choi Young-hee, a college student, said it took similar efforts at persuasion to win over her parents and friends on the idea of appearing nude on screen. "My parents and friends were surprised and did not like it," said the 22-year-old Choi. "After learning the theme of the movie they came to understand the situation," she said.

Japanese pop star Tomoyasu Hotei is in the hospital after fracturing his skull, which required emergency surgery on May 4th. Hotei slipped on the pavement on the way to his father-in-law's funeral and caved in his skull, causing him to slip into a brief coma. His wife, fellow pop star Miki Imai, has been at his bedside through the ordeal...Hotei is expected to recover and should be back on the road within 2 months. You can visit Hotei's official website here.

Japanese lingere company Triumph International has fashioned a new line of brassieres to commorate the 2002 World Cup. Called the 'Hat Trick', the bra is being unleashed in a limited edition of 100 at a price of 17,000 yen ($132) apiece for a football-adorned bra and matching panties. Click here for a picture of the ensemble

Cambodia's women's minister Mu Sochua has chimed in on the Gary Glitter fiasco, calling the ex-glam rocker 'a threat to children'. "There is a very great risk to children. Any kind of exposure that could lead to sexual abuse, I want to stop that." We'll keep you posted on this developing crisis...

By now you've probably heard that the mysterious Midwest pipe-bomb suspect is Luke John Helder, a 21 year old college student at the University of Wisconsin. You also probably know that he's allegedly in a lame post-grunge band called 'Apathy', and that they recorded an album of 'Wish We Were Nirvana'-esque anthems two years ago called 'Sacks of People'. It's funny the difference several months and one mail-bombing campaign can make. One minute you're a pseudo-Nirvana-cover-band, the next thing you know your songs are the file-sharing hit of the season. Should you be able to somehow get into the band's website which has the obligatory guestbook where friends of the band can say hi and post inane shit like 'Hey, guys, you RAWK! Your gig at the Podunk Street Tavern was freakin' AWESOME! I know that all five of the people who showed up were fuckin' RAWKED. You RAWK! PeACE OUT! Long live KURT coBAIN!!'. Here are a few of the more recent entries, post bombing-spree.

Pamela Anderson
07/May/2002:14:29:30
Luke, I will screw you if you turn yourself in!!!!!!!!!
Pam

weird
07/May/2002:14:24:16
If anyone's got that "Conformity" mp3, could you put it out there in the file-sharing world with Morpheus, Bearshare, or whatever you've got so the rest of us sad, interested people can get a listen? It's now impossible to download it from the IUMA site.
Thanks.

justatip
07/May/2002:14:18:17
Luke you are a pathetic pile of shit. You'll make someone a nice bitch in prison :) Oh yea...your music sucks too

Obi-Wan
07/May/2002:14:17:54
Luuuuuuuke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side......

METAL
07/May/2002:11:52:22
are you that upset that grunge is dead? dude, just embrace 'NSync and and put the pipe bombs down. ...or at the very least blow up their mailbox.

Oh, and in case you're wondering...yes, I do have mp3's of the band's hit songs Black and Back and Conformity. But I value my bandwidth, so I'm not posting them. Anyway, they suck...so don't waste your time.

Why, you get the Maoist International Movement's Maoist Movie Reviews! Similar to the ChildCare Action Project's film reviews, the MIM features a number of films viewed through the red lenses of Maoist ideology. For instance, check out their review of Martin Scorsese's Kundun. Forwarded by the skewed summation "Slavemaster Dalai Lama has his say", the film is seen as a one-sided portrait of a tyrant who promoted slavery of the Tibetan people. The MIM suggests filming the story from the viewpoint of the TIbetan people...an interesting approach for a biographical film, I must admit. Or how about this summation of Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon:

"For MIM, Crouching Tiger is a more polished (bigger budget) and more hyped Hong-Kong action film that fails to provide its viewers with any meaningful political content. And because all movies are made in the context of a political society, this means Crouching Tiger ends up supporting the status quo of patriarchy and imperialism."

Be sure to check out the rest of the reviews...they are likewise pretty funny. I don't know if 'funny' is their intent, but they made me chuckle nonetheless.

(From the Ion Collider)

Hey, remember that gambling college in the Philippines we told you about last month? Well, it looks like the dream is over...Filipino President Gloria Arroyo gave the prospective gambling school a big thumbs-down, stating that 'she did not want gambling to become a way of life in the Philippines'. Um...it's a little too late for that, dontcha think? The college would have offered degrees in casino operation and management, as well as short courses for croupiers.

The US government has issued a stern warning against intellectual propety violations by Vietnam...Vietnam, like 99% of southeast Asia, supports a booming trade in bootleg CDs, DVDs, and CD-ROM software. Hell, selling bootleg movies and music is practically an entire industry in Asia, where cheap copies generally outsell the originals by a fairly wide margin. US Deputy Trade Representative John Huntsman told Washington D.C. reporters that the US is ready to downgrade Hanoi's trade status if they don't take immediate action. If I were the US, I'd be careful what they say to Vietnam...after all, they did kick our asses the last time we tussled.

Holy jumping Christ on a pogo-stick! I know these are all non-working facsimiles, but I want one so bad I can taste it...a life-size re-creation of Kaneda's bad-azz feet-forward crotch rocket from the legendary anime Akira. My paltry plastic McFarlane toys rendition is no longer sufficient to contain my desire. Must...have...bike...

(Thanks to Zannah at usr/bin/girl who posted the original link...)

Not that you needed me to spell that out for you, but it turns out that diatribe we posted about The Bachelor's Alex Michel turned out to be a hoax, perpetrated by the REAL asshole, his 'friend' Jonathan Locker. So, for those of you slow on the uptake, Alex Michel did not, I repeat, DID NOT write the e-mail listed below. Thanks to Mazinga for setting the record straight. You can read the entire debacle here at Snopes.com. I suppose my overwhelming desire to see the guy debunked as a total ass overcame my editorial 'spider-sense', so to speak.

World-renowned (or perhaps I should say 'world reviled') pedophile Gary Glitter has been politely told by Cambodian officials that he isn't wanted in the country according to the BBC Online. Glitter, who has been living in Phnom Penh for the last six months, apparently can't be deported by Cambodian officials because he hasn't actually broken any laws. Glitter, who is perhaps best well known for his sports-arena chant 'Rock 'n' Roll (Part 2)' was indicted in 1999 on 54 counts of child pornography after authorities found scads of naughty pictures involving children as young as two engaged in sexual acts on his home computer. Glitter served two months out of a four month sentence, effectively ending his musical career (not that it amounted to much to begin with). Cambodian officials are worried that Glitter's presence helps reinforce the notion that Cambodia is a haven for pedophiles (don't know where they got that idea...).

Hah! That should stir up those right-wing loonies who insist on e-mailing me to tell me what a pinko shit I am. Let's face it...George did some nice things for the United States, but what we really need in this country is a total despot. A balls-to-the-walls, city-burning, selling-your-children-into-slavery-and-prostitution, horde-leading tyrant who will strike the fear of the Almighty into the godless cretins that dare oppose the might of our tribe...er, I mean country.

Despite having been reduced to a sparsely populated wasteland over the last seven or so centuries, Mongolia boasts just such a leader...Genghis Khan. And instead of some lame-ass holiday like Presidents Day, Mongolia is now in the midst of celebrating the 840th anniversary of Khan's birthday, starting witht the construction of a Genghis Khan memorial in the Mongolian capital of Ulan Bator comprised of seven stone tents which signifies the seven tents Khan used as his HQ during his numerous military campaigns. A 60m high statue of Khan is planned to be erected in the middle of the tents when the memorial is complete. In a televised speech, Mongolian President Natsagyin Bagabandi called the great leader "the star of the Mongolian nation and man of the millennium".

I don't want anyone to get the impression that I actually watched 'The Bachelor' based on this news item. Okay, I did watch the first one out of curiosity/stupidity/abject boredom (read: I was high on PCP). Anyway, over at my favorite site and yours, FuckedCompany.com, they have posted an e-mail exchange between 'The Batchelor' himself Alex Michel and a friend of his. The juicy part follows:

-----Original Message-----
From: Locker, Jonathan [mailto:jonathan.locker@tigerfund.com]
Sent: Thursday, April 25, 2002 8:39 AM
To: 'alex.michel@stanfordalumni.org'
Subject: The Bachelor

Alex, Jeffrey Sahrbeck was giving out your email address so I figured I would shoot you an email telling you how disappointed I was with your decision. Do you like fat girls or something? Amanda is nasty-- she is packing extra lbs all over the place. Trista is smoking hot AND she is a Heat dancer.

Anyway, I lost a lot of faith in both you and the ABC network.

Regards,
Jon

-----Original Message-----
From: Michel Alex
Sent: Thursday, April 25, 2002 12:42 PM
To: Locker, Jonathan
Subject: RE: The Bachelor

Jon, Please do not email me anymore and tell Jeff that if I ever meet him, I will kick his ass for giving my address to all of his high school friends.

Anyway, there is no doubt that Amanda is much fatter than Trista, but the producers made me pick the underdog. Don't worry, I bagged Trista.

Alex

Man, I hope his prospective bride doesn't find out about this...then again, seeing as Amanda is so 'fat' as he put it, perhaps he'd welcome the rejection should she decide not to marry him after all. It makes me laugh that ABC made such a big deal about picking such a boy scout to be the show's Bachelor, and in the end he turns out to be just another lame asshole.