The Volksgaren Project: the
"people working together." Intelligent Abuse Recovery for all
Suite 143, 24 First Ave. St. Thomas, ON, Canada, N5R 6H8
tel: 519-773-9644----------fax: 519-637-1210
email: firstname.lastname@example.org-----------URL: http://clix.to/support/
The Gay Man & Family Violence
is a 31-year-old gay white male, who lives in Toronto. He
knows first hand about domestic violence. "I ended a
three-year verbally abusive relationship. When I left I
was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,"
Marty said. After ending the relationship Marty found
himself confused, with no concept of self, lonely, scared
and with high levels of self-hatred. Marty was walking
through life in a daze, with mental scars as well as
physical scars to remind him of what he went through. He
finally decided to break his silence and seek counseling.
However, he found that help and professional services for
gay men were not so easy to locate.
According to Marty, "the relationship was destructive and unhealthy, and physically abusive in the end. The first thing I wanted to do was find my self worth in the form of someone else's sexual attraction to me, even if that meant unprotected sex." There were suicidal thoughts, periods of deep-rooted depression, anger, and loneliness. All of these emotions he could experience in a single day.
The unreported violence and Marty's reaction are more common than not among gay men and lesbians. Domestic violence in the gay community is very seldomly documented or addressed.
"The hardest thing to get over was being a victim," Marty stated. "I couldn't admit that to myself. I am a man. A strong man. Men don't get abused."
violence is defined primarily as a heterosexual problem,
many gays and lesbians do not recognize domestic violence
even when it is happening to them. Like Marty, many
people internalize the belief that domestic violence only
occurs in heterosexual relationships. This belief is
further reinforced by domestic violence public education
campaigns. These campaigns assume universal
heterosexuality and exclusively address male-female
| Profile of an Abuser:
If you or someone you know is the victim of domestic violence please seek help.
If you are an
abuser or think you may be an abuser, STOP and get help
Volksgaren Proudly works with ALL people. We follow the SAFE philosophy which says that all people deserve to live life free of the scourge of violence.