Clintonian
(adj.)
Well,
we can stop guessing what Bill Clinton’s legacy will be. The word
Clintonian will never be used as a compliment. And he can’t blame
his enemies. He can thank his friends, his allies, his half-brother,
his brother-in-law, his wife, and, most of all, himself. He has
made himself a lasting symbol of political corruption.
Just
when you thought it couldn’t get any slimier, out pop two of Clinton’s
kinfolk to serve as the ultimate negative character witnesses. His
half-brother, Roger Clinton, presidentially pardoned for drug dealing,
has reportedly been investigated by the FBI for seeking "payments
for help in arranging pardons," reports Newsweek magazine.
"The
inquiry was dropped after Justice lawyers spotted a legal problem,"
the story continues. "Since Roger Clinton wasn’t a federal
official, it was not a crime to seek money to deliver action by
the government." No, it wasn’t a crime. It was merely Clintonian.
Then
came the news that Hillary Clinton’s rich lawyer brother, Hugh Rodham,
whose only known legal talent is his relation to Bill, had procured
a presidential pardon and a commutation of the Clintonian variety:
the proper channels were bypassed and mercy was extended on that
famous final morning of the Clinton administration.
Bill
and Hillary professed themselves "dismayed" by Rodham’s
role, for which he received $400,000 in contingency fees, and issued
carefully worded that is, Clintonian denials that they had known
what Rodham was up to during his frequent recent visits to the White
House. They had demanded that he return the money, though he had
broken no law; he had merely discerned, and cashed in on, the Clintonian
ethos.
Somehow
Roger Clinton and Hugh Rodham had picked up the same idea: that
as long as Bill Clinton was in the White House, special government
services were for sale. The theory may have originated with crazed
Republican Clinton-haters, but it seems to have held up pretty well
in practice. Like McCarthyite witch-hunters, Clinton-haters have
been vindicated by the record.
Today
it’s the erstwhile Clinton-lovers who have a lot of explaining to
do. Why couldn’t they see until this month what was obvious to the
Clinton-haters many years ago? Both Clintons are among the most
ethically uninhibited people ever to enter, let alone inhabit, the
White House.
One
of the most amorous of the Clinton-lovers, Albert Hunt of the Wall
Street Journal, asks why Bill didn’t check up on the financier Marc
Rich before granting him a highly irregular pardon. "Rewarding
campaign contributors is too simple an explanation," he deep-thinks.
On
the contrary, when it comes to Bill Clinton, simple explanations
explain an awful lot. He may be cunning, but subtle he is not. However
crooked his path, his destination is usually clear enough. If he
were equidistant from a pile of money and a comely White House intern,
the only question is which he would grab first.
Any
crude explanation of Clinton’s motives deserves to be embraced unless
you can think of an even cruder one. Rich’s ex-wife visited Clinton
a hundred times in a single year. Why did the president of the United
States make so much time for one private citizen? Two possible answers
come to mind. One is that she gave him a lot of money. The other
is suggested by her large and generously exposed bosom. If the cruder
answer is wrong, more credit is due to her virtue than to his. (Then
again, why would a virtuous woman make so much time for Bill Clinton?)
We
aren’t dealing with Hamlet here. Anyone who sees Clinton as a refined
and complex specimen of Western man, tortured by philosophical scruples,
is, as Shakespeare might say, full of it. Clinton is living proof
that conscience doesn’t necessarily make cowards of us all. After
eight years of scandal, exposure, impeachment, FBI semen analysis,
and Jay Leno, his audacity remains absolutely unimpaired.
Almost
incredibly, he still expects us to believe his denials. As long
as he can fool some of the people some of the time, he is satisfied.
How
can you sum him up? Coarse, lecherous, venal, treacherous, slippery,
reckless, sociopathic? All these may be true enough, but only one
word will really capture him: Clintonian.
March
9, 2001
Joe
Sobran is a nationally syndicated columnist. He also writes "Washington
Watch" for The
Wanderer, a weekly Catholic newspaper, and edits SOBRAN'S,
a monthly newsletter of his essays and columns.
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