Eleanor and Fumiko met in New York City, where Eleanor lives, in the fall of 1986. Eleanor was 46 years old and working as a computer programmer. She had three children in their early twenties and had lived as a lesbian for twelve years. Fumiko, a Japanese woman of 37, had been living in Mexico for some years, studying weaving. She was now spending six months in New York with a friend and was planning to go from there to Guatemala, where she wanted to learn their indigenous weaving techniques.

Although Fumiko and her friend Keiko knew very little English, they were pretty fluent in Spanish. In New York, they got to know Martita, the owner of Womanbooks, a local womenÕs bookstore. Martita was bilingual in Spanish and English. Keiko was keen to practice her English and asked Martita for her advice on how to go about it. Martita knew that Eleanor, a former owner of Womanbooks, had been studying Japanese and would probably be overjoyed to have an opportunity to exchange conversation lessons. So Martita introduced Eleanor and Fumiko.

Eleanor was immediately fascinated by Fumiko's strong personality and deep voice, but it wasn't clear at the beginning whether Fumiko was a lesbian. Little by little they got acquainted, Japanese-English dictionary never far from hand, and eventually they became lovers. For six weeks, they spent a lot of time together, but when January came, Fumiko had to leave. Eleanor spent a whirlwind month quitting her job and subletting her apartment, and off she went to join Fumiko in Antigua, Guatemala.

What a strange and exotic place! And what a wonderful reunion! The women rented a small house in Antigua and bought a few furnishings. Life there was simple and rather boring, except for the excitement of a new love affair. Both being on tourist visas, they had to exit the country every three months, so there were a couple of interesting trips over the border to Mexico. By the third exit, they decided to leave Guatemala and go to live in Mexico City, where Fumiko had lived before. Taking many ÒbolsasÓ of accumulated household goods, they found a nice apartment in the center of town, right behind the American Embassy. Fumiko introduced Eleanor to her many friends there, but Eleanor was increasingly restless, caught between Spanish and Japanese and having no real business in Mexico herself, other than being with Fumiko. Finally, both became infected with hepatitis and spent a miserable few weeks. As soon as she could travel, Eleanor decided to leave and Òdo something elseÓ. It had been a year since she had left New York.

"Something else" turned out to be a journey to Japan! Fumiko wrote to her various relatives and issued orders that this "Eleanor" was to be treated like a queen. They took her to local festivals, treated her to endless dinners, and even included her in a weekend trip to a hot-spring resort. After a few weeks, Eleanor found a job teaching English and got an apartment and a working visa. She was lonely, but Japan was fascinating and she discovered many things about the country on her own, being forced to do things herself that she might have relied on Fumiko to handle if Fumiko had been there with her. Eleanor studied the Japanese language, kimono-wearing, abacus-calculating and even won a speech contest in Japanese! After about seven months, Fumiko left Mexico and returned to Japan to join Eleanor. The two women lived together for the remaining five months of Eleanor's stay, and in May of 1989 returned to New York together. They lived together in New York for five years.

Fumiko studied English, and studied English, and studied English. After six months, her tourist visa expired, and she applied for an extension. She was turned down. A postcard arrived from INS saying that she would be deported if she didn't leave immediately. Then nothing. She was illegal, but apparently not importantly illegal. She couldn't work, but Eleanor was making good money as a computer programmer while studying linguistics at the CUNY Graduate Center part time. They started getting to know other immigrants, legal and illegal, and realized that even illegal immigrants have a life, and in New York City not such a bad one. Someone told them that "undocumented aliens" could attend one of the universities in New York, and even get the (lower) resident tuition rate. That was very exciting to Fumiko, who had never been to college, so she spent the next year studying English even harder and taking the TOEFL several times. Finally, in September of 1992, she entered LaGuardia Community College.

For Fumiko, LaGuardia was a wonderful experience. She read books, wrote papers, visited museums and libraries, and discovered great satisfaction in learning, thinking and discussing a whole range of subjects. Her interest was especially kindled by cultural anthropology: the customs, beliefs, art, and mythology of various societies. She found the American system of education very stimulating, with emphasis placed on the value of each person's contribution, each culture's differences. In January of 1994 she graduated from LaGuardia with an Associate of Arts degree and entered Hunter College as a junior, but she was increasingly anxious about money. Being illegal, she couldn't work in the United States, and Eleanor was now a full-time student living off a small inheritance, so there wasn't much money to go around. At 46, Fumiko worried more and more about getting sick, having no insurance or savings to fall back on and no pension for her old age. Perhaps also the discomfort of being totally dependent on Eleanor (Eleanor's money, her apartment, her language, her family, and so on) added to the stress of living in a foreign country, in a foreign language.

Fumiko returned to Japan in July 1994. She got a job in Tokyo that she was pleased with, and began to rebuild her life there. Eleanor visited Tokyo for two weeks over New Year (the big holiday in Japan). Eleanor was now a doctoral candidate in linguistics at CUNY and, at 54, felt that if she didn't finish soon it was unlikely that she ever would. She managed to get a graduate student fellowship in Japan for the summer of 1995, so she and Fumiko were able to be together for most of three months. Back to New York and dissertation research; long distance phone calls once a week, and e-mail in between.

In July of 1996, after a 10-month separation, Eleanor packed up her computer and 70 lbs. of Xeroxed references and went to Tokyo to work on her dissertation there. With a telnet connection to the Internet, she could do her research on the CUNY computers in New York! She spent six months in Japan in two 3-month stays (the length of a tourist visa), and returned to New York in February 1997 to complete her degree. She received the Ph.D. degree in October 1997 and is now in Japan where she and Fumiko are considering various options for a life together in one or the other countries.

Fumiko and Eleanor have edured many separations in the 12 years of their relationship. Their connection is very strong, despite differences of language and culture, and even of age. Their lives before meeting one another had taken quite different paths, and they may seem to be an unlikely couple. But they both feel that they are alike in many important ways, and that they really appreciate their differences as well as their similarities. They support and encourage one another through good times and bad. Sometimes there is frustration and anger, but usually there is love and laughter. It is a constant challenge for Eleanor and Fumiko to remain together in the face of immigration policies that discriminate against same-sex couples in both their countries, but they plan to share their lives forever, one way or another.