If metal is the new indie rock, as little voices have been telling me, then children's music is becoming the new noise-pop-- just ask They Might Be Giants. Or Elephant 6, for that matter, who seem to be undergoing a gradual metamorphosis into Tin Pan Alley for Nickelodeon viewers, what with Bill Doss' Sunshine Fix concept album about the sun, Beulah's live cover of "The Alphabet Song", and Of Montreal's ongoing campaign to give the world's children horrific nightmares. One almost begins to think that Jeff Mangum's return to the musical scene will be a sex education concept album called Ovary & The Semen-Stained Mountaintops.

Now comes Velocity of Sound by The Apples in Stereo, an album that confirms that the Colorado-based quintet has now made the full transistion to animated status. I'll admit that this impression is more than a little informed by the band's Roger Rabbit-inspired video for "Let's Go", a short promotional piece run constantly as space-filler on the Cartoon Network. But since Schneider & Co achieved more success than ever thanks to that song's inclusion on the "Powerpuff Girls"' curiously indie-friendly souvenir LP, it's no surprise to find the band milking the preferences of their newly acquired audience.

Of course, said audience's median age is about nine years old, meaning the band's approach might have to be stripped down somewhat to tickle the pre-teen ear. Which is what we hear. All of the standard Apples in Stereo elements have been greatly exaggerated on this outing: the tempo is uniformly set at a brisk gallop, the runtimes are shorter than ever, the guitars are more fuzzed-out and trebly, and the vocals are accelerated to make Schneider sound girlish-- and to make actual girl Hilarie Sidney squeaky like a chipmunk or elf or chipmunk/elf hybrid. And though the Apples have always been strongly confectionary, Velocity of Sound ramps up the sugar content to equal a year's worth of impulse binges at FAO Schweetz.

But if you've got a sweet tooth, Velocity of Sound does provide a few irresistible vending machine snacks. Take "Baroque", which transforms the usual "ba ba ba" backing vocals into a neat Bach-inspired three-part arpeggio, and "Rainfall" is the first Hilarie-sung song not to be buried and forgotten in the middle of an Apples album-- rightfully so, too, as its amphetamine country drumbeat and Pixies-esque lead guitar are a sunny afternoon good time for any age.

Too bad the striving for simplicity also holds back the band's efforts. Thematically, The Apples keep their songs at a sub-G-rating level, which has the potential to grate on a listener with tastes that extend beyond Raffi. Take the deep thoughts of "Something", for instance ("Something/ I want something"), or the hang-out-with-the-uncool-kids message of "That's Something I Do", which could easily serve as a companion piece to Avril Lavigne's "Sk8tr Boi". Musically, hyperactive songs like "Please" and "Mystery" blur into each other before too long, while influences-on-their-sleeve tracks like "She's Telling Lies" (which doesn't so much rip off one single Beach Boys song as it does the entire Beach Boys catalog) come off as too derivative.

On an album that feels about six minutes long (it's actually just under 29), a couple highlights aren't enough to make it a keeper. But you can't necessarily count the band's new younger focus as a flaw; Velocity of Sound showcases a tight, concentrated power-pop sound that the band seemed to have lost on their last couple outings. While it might not endure for any listener that's completed the warzone that is puberty, it'd still be a pretty solid indie-cred stocking-stuffer for the training-wheels set come Christmas time. Only 87 more shopping days!

-Rob Mitchum, October 3rd, 2002