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Cover Art Kiss
Music From "The Elder"
[Mercury Remasters Series]
Rating: 0.0

If this album wasn't the inspiration for Spinal Tap's "Stonehenge," I don't know what was. Grasping at straws, Kiss rehired Destroyer producer Bob Ezrin and wanted him to help crank out the hits. Ah, but the band was living in the age of early '80s metal, and the man at the soundboard was not only the same man who produced the most "far out" of the Kiss albums, but whose last project was Pink Floyd's The Wall. Ezrin made the boneheaded suggestion of ditching their new rock tunes and instead recording a concept album about a young hero's quest to slay an elf, or something to that effect.

Of course, the end product is the absolute nadir of Kiss' existance. I know, you all think albums like Anamalyze or Hot In The Shade qualify, but no. Those records were Kiss going with the flow of crap music. With The Elder, they pushed crap in a new and scary direction. Oddly enough, three of the songs were co-written by Lou Reed and they still sound as anonymous as the others. What a horrible, horrible, horrible album.

-Jason Josephes

10.0: Essential
9.5-9.9: Spectacular
9.0-9.4: Amazing
8.5-8.9: Exceptional; will likely rank among writer's top ten albums of the year
8.0-8.4: Very good
7.5-7.9: Above average; enjoyable
7.0-7.4: Not brilliant, but nice enough
6.0-6.9: Has its moments, but isn't strong
5.0-5.9: Mediocre; not good, but not awful
4.0-4.9: Just below average; bad outweighs good by just a little bit
3.0-3.9: Definitely below average, but a few redeeming qualities
2.0-2.9: Heard worse, but still pretty bad
1.0-1.9: Awful; not a single pleasant track
0.0-0.9: Breaks new ground for terrible