IMAO
November 11, 2002
I'll Get in This Time... THUNK!

There is a race to fill the post of Minority Leader now that Gebhardt is fleeing with his tail between his legs, and currently Nancy Pelosi is the front-runner, though Harold Ford is trying to challenge her. Now, the first question that comes to mind is, if you saw someone a number of time on TV and didn't know he was black until you read it in an article, is he actually black? The other and more relevant question is will we have to kill Nancy Pelosi just like we did Wellstone? Pelosi is literally a San Francisco Democrat and voted against the war plus - I'm just assuming this - she's a Communist. I don't see how she is supposed to do anything other than marginalize the Democrats even more, but, hey, I'm no political strategist. Still, the Democrats are starting to look like a bird that keeps repeatedly smacking into a glass window; it's a bit pathetic, but it's fun to watch.

Posted by Frank J. at 08:53 AM | Comments (7)
Thanks for Kicking Ass

Today is veteran's day, and I just want to give thanks to all those in the military. You keep America safe and keep bad countries unsafe alllowing all of us to enjoy the freedoms of the greatest country in the world. I especially want to give a shout out to my brother, Joe foo', who is a Marine plus it's his birthday today. Know I'm proud of you, bro.

Posted by Frank J. at 07:45 AM | Comments (0)
November 09, 2002
New Agenda

So, now that Republicans rule the land like Saudi princes, what should be on their agenda? Here are my suggestions:

*New Tax Cuts: I want more money. Cut my taxes!

*Hippie Punching Act: Make beating up hippies a protected form of speech.

*Environmentalists "Piss Off" Act: Make if official government policy, that, whenever environmentalists complain about something, we tell them to piss off.

*Guns! Guns! Guns! Act: Guns everywhere! No limitations on carry. Only nuclear weapons will be defined as "assault weapons." To help the poor, food stamps can now be exchanged for ammo.

*More Tax Cuts: Good try, but you didn't cut taxes enough the first time. Please try again.

*We Hate the French Resolution: Just as English is the language of America though not officially stated as such, hating the French is the stance of the American people though it is not officially written anywhere. Let's make it official.

*Hollywood Promise Keeping Act: All people who said they would leave America if Bush were elected will now be deported.

*Let's Bomb Everyone Act: Every week, new country gets bombed. That will keep them on their toes.

*Reestablish The Committee on Un-American Activities: There are still Commies out there who are not dead. That is wrong.

*Invade San Francisco: We need to invade and recapture San Francisco, changing the regime to one more friendly to America. Must be careful of collateral damage because some good bloggers live there.

*Still More Tax Cuts: Is there anyway I could pay no taxes?

If you have any other ideas, put them in the comments. If they are really good, they will be... uh... read.

Posted by Frank J. at 10:52 AM | Comments (21)
November 08, 2002
I Don't Want to be a Broken Record, But...

I just listened to the Animaniacs' "Countries of the World" song, and Iraq was still in the lyrics. What gives? Shouldn't it have been destroyed by now? Apparently, the U.S. is still waiting on the U.N. who is just getting to voting on a resolution today. In the resolution, there will first be inspections and then the U.S. will wait for the U.N. to say whether Iraq is a bad boy before we can bomb them back to the stoneage and have Fred Flinstone, loyal American and fervent anti-communist, finish them off. At this rate, Saddam is going to die of old age before we get a chance to kill him, and, in the mean time, he's going to be working on his weapons of mass destruction such as nuclear weapons, biological weapons, and cybernetic ninja monkeys. We have to get to work killing Saddam right now! He's got tons of imposter Saddams we have to kill to make sure we got the real one, so there is no time to waste waiting for France to give the a-okay. Plus, we have other countries to kick the crap out of once we finish Iraq such as North Korea, Iran, Saudia Arabia, and probably some African countries I've never heard of. Let's send in our special forces to wipe out the Iraqis and blow up their buildings and then just call it inspections. Maybe, after wiping out all the people in an area, instead of shouting, "This room is clear," they could say, "This room is inspected." And, if they shoot someone and he doesn't die, they can say, "The Iraqis are not complying with inspections." That should be enough to fool the U.N. people; those guys are pretty dumb, and, as I always suspected, a bit scared of us anyway, so they won't protest.

Posted by Frank J. at 08:32 AM | Comments (4)
November 07, 2002
Some Frank Advice for Democrats

I've been joking about the Democrats being evil and murdering each other, but I think I should be a gracious winner and give them some advice. Obviously the Democratic party needs a major reorganization if they don't want to become completely irrelevant. I don't think they necessarily need a complete change in leadership so much as a change in their focus and how they interact with the president. They certainly shouldn't challenge him on the war unless they really want to marginalize themselves among the American people, but they must came up with a coherent domestic policy to put forth positively instead of just being negative about the Republicans. Also, to get the American people to accept them again, they have to shed their previous image. The best way is kill Bill Clinton in a low-key manner. I'm thinking a car "accident" would be a great idea. They should then have a very dignified but short funeral (you don't want too much reflection on Bill Clinton because you know where that will lead). Then, after he is buried, he should never be mentioned again. I think that will really give the Democrats an opportunity to make a comeback. Also, I would tell them to stop being a bunch of whiny, tax-and-spend, liberal freaks, but I want to give them some advice they might actually follow.

Posted by Frank J. at 10:34 PM | Comments (11)
Hell to Pay for Democrat Failures

So what happens to the Democrats now? Their leadership certainly isn't happy, and, when I say leadership, I mean those actually in control of the Democratic Party. That's the cabal of the NEA (actually stands for National Evil Association), the unions (i.e., the mafia), the trial lawyers, and Satan himself. And I warn you, the Democrats aren't as dumb as we sometimes pretend; when they kill Daschle before the next election, this time they'll make sure the memorial is a dignified, solemn affair that will give a boost in the polls to the candidate that replaces him. I hear Gebhardt is going to step down from leadership, probably in a ploy to keep from getting killed. Terry McAuliffe, on the other hand, knows there is nothing he can do to save himself and thus has gone into complete denial trying to convince everyone that the election was no big deal. The Democrats will wait a while to eliminate him, letting him cruelly hang there, anticipating. Finally, they will kill him in a way so horrible as to deter others from failure.

Even if we wanted to save these people, there is nothing we can do. All that is left is to pity them and to work to topple the Democratic cabal once and for all. Oh yeah, and lower taxes. First lower my taxes, then fight evil.

Posted by Frank J. at 08:14 AM | Comments (0)
November 06, 2002
Happy Days Are Here Again

I believe the edict that all non-Republicans will be rounded up and sent to re-education camps will come within the next twenty-four hours. To all those affected, have fun at camp! Man, the people at the Democratic Underground must be squealing like pigs right now.

The only interesting election I voted in was Jeb Bush versus McBride, and it's not like my vote mattered since Jeb kicked that guy's ass. That's a good thing, because I don't like it when Democrat's win. They want to take my money and give it to poor people and children, and I hate poor people and children and like my money.

The other things I got to vote on were a bunch of amendments to the Florida constitution. If I didn't know much about it, I voted "No," since I decided to be against amending the constitution all willy-nilly. One even mentioned pregnant pigs in it, and, regardless of the merits, I don't want the phrase "pregnant pigs" in the constitution. Another was something about Miami-Dade's name; I really didn't understand it or care. That made me wish that, in addition to the "Yes" and "No" choices, I had an "I don't give a rat's ass" oval to fill in. I'll have to propose that as an amendment next election.

BTW, Carnival of the Vanities 7 is now up. I didn't submit this time since I hadn't blogged much to submit. Hope to change that soon.

Posted by Frank J. at 08:38 AM | Comments (7)
November 05, 2002
Today I Get the Prestige of Being a Florida Voter

Still busy as all 'ell, and thus have little time for both blogging and blog reading. Just wanted to remind everyone that today is election day, the day you pick the candidate you think will best kill all of America's enemies. Just remember, everytime someone votes for a Democrat, baby Jesus cries.

Posted by Frank J. at 08:11 AM | Comments (7)
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