The Return To Earth Of Christ The Lord, Our Saviour And Redeemer. More Tea, Vicar?

s luck would have it, when the tape of Thirdspace had finished, we were tuned to BBC1 just in time for the live coverage of the biggest comeback since Paul McGann entered the Tardis. Call us cynical, but somehow the prospect of being cleansed of all our sin seemed a lot less alluring after an evening slagging off Jeff Conaway over pepperoni pizza and Stella Artois. Be That As It May, verily we did partake of the sacrament for a special, one-off session to cast our critical perusal over the year's biggest SPFX bonanza. PM "The Pentagon leviates and the generales are cast into eternal perdition" Stephen isn't terribly impressed. "The effects are

at the use of the word "dillywiggy". "I heard he called it either Bill Bixby or Lou Ferrigno, depending on the level of engorgement," offers Nick, although how he would have found out is anyone's guess. "Have you noticed that I only ever have my photo taken in profile?" chimes Guy, irrelevantly. "James Griffin ruined my life" adds Anthony. .15 PM "Healing the lame, making the dead walk and assorted pharisee-bashing" Blimey, it's all go. We've run out of pizza and none of the delivery companies are answering the phone. "Catholics," offers Nick, helpfully. "Has anyone noticed that Jesus has an English accent?" asks Viv. Nobody had. "Don't tell me it's Jason sodding Carter again," gripes Anthony, looking up from his wax doll of Dave Stone. "What exactly is a pharisee?" asks Guy, and

terrible. I mean, nobody's going to believe this after ID4. We might as well be watching Harvest of Kairos" and at the thought of that most arousing adventure of Vila and co, he becomes curiously tumescent. Viv wakes up from her Boxleitner-induced snooze and demands to know what's going on. "Jesus Christ is coming back, the armed forces are going to hell and Stephen's dillywiggy's up for action. At least one miracle then." and we all collapse

then immediately regrets it, realising that this is an open invitation for Anthony to launch into a detailed disquisition on matters New Testament. Instead, he nervously fingers a picture of Anneke Wills. "I could have had her," he groans. "I did," pipes up Stephen. Viv thumps him. "If Jesus can raise the dead, do you think there's any hope for Star Cops?" queries Guy.

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