...and now for something completely different...

The Talking Heads were right. We're goin' Boom, Boom, Boom. And that's The Way We live.

We, the People. We Give, We Live. Could be a motto for a new age. This is something the Napster's Legal team needs to consider, as they scramble to accommodate the courts, Jack Valenti, and those cantankerous would-be advocates of an Internet Police State-Metallica.

Alfred North Whitehead once said "The major advances of Civilisation all but wreck the Societies in which they Occur," and the present state of cyberaffairs, especially with Copyright Micropayments and the absence of International accord regarding how to handle these matters soundly attests to Whitehead's insight. (And I don't think punishing the Napster or admitting China to the WTO is going to resolve these issues of Copyright, the Web, and Micropayments).

Our World Leaders need to stop talking so much about the "Global Village" and start actually thinking about it is, until they reach some semblance of real understanding.

And here's what it is: A Great Big Room. Yup. Not so hard to grasp now. All better. The Investment Bankers, AOL, Tribal Voice, and others are all hyped about instant messaging. Here's a little jingle to help keep track.

AOL, NIM, ICQ, I see You.
IRC, You and Me, Oh, how happy that will be.
Napster Rules, Music Fools,
Who Cares if Lars brooks no Tools?
Judge says "No. Fans must go!"
See how fast the Monies flow?
Pay the rent or fold the tent.
NOW see where the money went?
OhmyGOD! It's a Fraud! Now who's gonna pay Jean-Claude?

...and On and On. (You just feel like crying.)

Right.

So. Metallica doesn't think so. Where do we Go from Here? Well now...

What's the first thing you see when you start a chat session? "User RIAA has entered the room."

A Great, Big, Room. You're in it. Bill Clinton is in it. Lars is in it. And so is Jack Valenti. And there's Bill Gates (wave) "Hi Bill!" And, look! There's Richard Stallman, with Linus and Eric Raymond.

Hey, look, we're all in a Big Room together. The Judge in the Napster case said we can't share our music with each other. That it's Piracy. Obviously an open and shut case of theft of Property, eh America?

And NOW with the First Amendment on the Ropes by virtue of this ridiculous decision, Jack "Friend of Washington" Valenti, OOPS er...the RIAA moves in for the kill. (or is it ...shhhhh...the NSA) (or ((double-shhhhh(UKUSA))))

Nope. It's Jack. A real, top-echelon, personable sort of guy. And here comes China, all dressed up for the WTO (would be a shame if nowhere to go). Holy sweet be-jeebers!

Face it, Folks. The next time You have a few dear Friends over, be sure to look over Your shoulder and close the curtains before You play that CD. Because Jack Valenti will be there. The Judge said he was invited. Maybe he'll bring his buddy, Lars. Or maybe they'll bring the Thought Police - their "Posse". And their close Personal Friends China.com, and Jam-Master Xinhua. No pets allowed. (Sorry, Hongkong.com.)

Just don't practice any breathing exercises as you jam out to the music. With this bunch, it could get you just as arrested as listening to This Music in This Room with Your Friends. Anywhere on this very Rare Earth. Yup. What a Wonderful World this Could Be. But I really don't know much about it. Except this:

We're Goin' Boom, Boom, Boom. And that's the way We Live. We're in a Great Big Room. And that's The Way We Give.

And that's the way it is.