In preparation for a film based on our favorite agents, a Hollywood writer spends some time with Mulder and Scully to get their "flavor."

Written and directed by David Duchovny

No Red Tape Here

Wayne (to Mulder and Scully): I like the way you guys work. No warrants. No permissions. No research. You're like studio executives with guns.

Skinner: If I'm carrying Marilyn Monroe's purse, do you assume I sleptwith JFK?

Garry Shandling - himself, "Mulder"
Tea Leoni - herself, "Scully"

Mulder is trying to save Scully from the clutches of Cigarette Smoking Man. Except that "Mulder" is played by Garry Shandling, "Scully" is Tea Leoni, and the cigarette-smoking guy wears ecclesiastical headgear. As "sniper zombies" approach, "Mulder" throws the "Lazarus bowl" into the air, grabs "Scully" and runs.

Soon, as the two agents are lying on the ground, "Mulder" professes his love. They kiss.

"Hollywood A.D." is a parody and, as such, will be unsatisfying to the many X-Files viewers, including this long-suffering reviewer, who'd like to see the series culminate in a dramatic, multi-episode denouement of its "mythology arc." Nonetheless, this episode has merit as a witty and imaginative parody.

The plot makes little sense, which is presumably part of the joke. "Cigarette Smoking Pontiff" is an inspired creation, though one might have hoped to see more of Tea Leoni's "Scully." The gloomy backdrops, such as the church's crypt, make an effective contrast to the absurdity of the proceedings.

There was no word for "walrus" in Aramaic.

How's the movie going to do at the box office?

Will Cigarette Smoking Man be amused at his portrayal?

And who was that woman accompanying Skinner to the premiere?

The dancing bones and partying corpses are not thoroughly explained. But the Hollywood scriptwriter's exuberant embrace of inane material and indifference to originality seem plausible enough.

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